Olly makes a valid point about the costs of security measures. That's why I've developed a security strategy that deters intrudors and funds itself.
8.) Every July I construct my own "Alex's Lemonade Stand" on my front lawn. I have a 'guns for lemonade' program. Potential intruders are instantly drawn to my stand and cannot resist handing over their weapons for a glass of lemonade. I then trade the guns to local prostitutes for their Iphones. I sell the Iphones to tourists who have had their phones stolen by prostitutes. I use the proceeds from the Iphones to fund the lemonade stand and other security measures (and to fight cancer, of course). The prostitutes sell the guns to bandits who then attempt to rob me, but fall victim to the allure of my lemonade stand. In this way, I pretty much single-handedly keep the entire Dominican economy revolving.
Again, will have to tell hubby about this. He may like this idea better. Hey, got any more tips for me. Hilarious, thanks for the much needed laughs.