In an effort to add diversity to the workforce, five cannibals get hired by a large school district. During the welcoming ceremony the superintendent says, "You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat. So please don't trouble any of the other employees."
The cannibals promised. Four weeks later the superintendent returns and says, "You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. However, one of our janitors has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to him?"
The cannibals all shake their heads no.
After the boss left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others,
"Which of you idiots ate the janitor?" A hand raises hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals replies, "You FOOL! For four weeks we've been eating Assistant Superintendents, Curriculum Directors, Team Leaders, Supervisors and Coordinators and no one noticed anything, and YOU had to
go and eat the janitor!"
A Georgia state patrolman pulled a car over for speeding
about 20 miles from the Florida line on I-95. When the
officer asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver
answered that he was a magician and juggler and was on
his way to Jacksonville to do a show that night and didn't
want to be late. The patrolman told the driver that he was
fascinated by juggling and if the driver would do a little
juggling for him that he wouldn't give him a ticket. The juggler
told him that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and
didn't have anything to juggle. The patrolman told him that he
had some flares in the trunk of his car and asked if he could
juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the patrolman got
three flares and lit them, and handed them to the juggler.
While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled up
behind the patrol car and a drunk got out and looked at the show,
then went to the patrol car, opened the back door and got in.
The patrolman saw him do this and went over to his car, opened
the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing.
The drunk replied, "Just take me to jail... Hell, ain't no way I'm
gonna pass that test."
A mother and her son were flying Southwest
Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago.
The son (who had been looking out the window)
turned to his mother and asked,
"If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby
cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told
her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked
the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs
and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes
have baby planes?"
The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell
you to ask me?"
The boy admitted that this was the case.
"Well, then, tell your mother that there are no
baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time.
Your mother can explain it to you."