under the bridge

[puryear270]

Lindsey,

You hit the nail on the head.

I have a family here who was always asking for help, so I decided to help them. I gave the father a job as a groundskeeper.
HOWEVER, after one week, I realized there was a problem. He spent the money I paid him on rum and a new shirt for himself, while his wife and two daughters (ages 2 and 4) were still hungry. Turns out, he was doing the same thing his father did (except his father was physcially abusive.)

Solution: He gets paid in food for the family and a smaller amount of cash for his rum. When I go to the grocery store for me, I purchase rice, beans, oil, seasoning, salami, a couple of frozen chickens, milk, and sugar. He is now working with me to grow a garden with vegetables and he is in charge of my chickens. After talking to him repeatedly and showing him by example, he is finally starting to realize that his daughters take priority over clothing and rum. I also learned to pay him daily, because if he gets more than 500 pesos in his pocket at a time, he is compelled to spend it. It has not been easy, and I have grown frustrated many time, but he is finally starting to "get it". And the best part: his self-esteem has grown.

The sad part of this story: his neighbors are jealous and keep saying, "Donde esta el mio?" (Where's mine?)

The point is: it's easy to get overwhelmed by poverty and inequality and the difficulties of life, but we can all help at least one person. Do what you can for your fellow human beings and hope that others learn from your example.

 

[Chip]

Well Lindsey, I'm a jaded New Yorker by birth, one who naturally developed the ability to not even see the beggars in Manhattan. They were invisible to me. I'm not proud of that, it's just the way it is, a coping mechanism. I vividly remember walking down 29th Street to my office when I was in my 20s, and a man was sprawled across the sidewalk, his head in the gutter. Like everyone in front of me, I didn't even break my stride, just stepped over him and kept walking. That day when I got to work, it hit me what I had done, not even knowing if he was dead or alive, and it shook me up. I don't know how things are now in Manhattan, but back then those who stopped to help or get involved were kind of pitied. Thus the 'jaded' comment.

So when I got to DR, it took some time for me to care. I think the main difference for me is that there is help in the US if someone needs it, and hey, it's not my fault if they don't go get it. In DR, things are different, there is no one to help. No one cares. it's what changed me from that girl who stepped over a man on 29th Street into the woman who packs box after box of 'stuff' to give away. I've never done the random food, but I reallllly like that idea. We've done the random clothing though, last year I think we handed out over 100 new baseball caps. This year someone is donating cases of school supplies and backpacks, and he will even help us pay for the shipping. We'll go see the principal of the campo school where we live when we get there, and ask to hand them out directly so they get to the kids and none are 'diverted'.

This time of year is summer clearance in stores, $.50 shorts in Old Navy, etc. Stock up time to give away. People who know us in NJ also give us things to bring down. Someone gave me a huge shopping bag full of rubber flip-flops, maybe 50 pair, leftover inventory. (I've seen men wearing homemade flip flops in the campo, made with cut out cardboard and rope.)

So, we all do what we can. Some, like you, more than others - but I'll bet that you've been an inspiration to several people here on DR1, and at least one of them will help someone with a bag of food in the near future.

Good grief newyorkers have always had a bad reputation but this takes the cake. I'm glad you were able to get past this severe social issue.

 

[delite]

This is what I recommend. Don't give money. Go to the grocery. But 5 lbs of rice, 2 lbs of beans, 1 very small bottle of cheap cooking oil, 1 small tin tomato paste, and 3 tins sardines. This will cost you about 400 pesos. Keep this bag of food in your car. Begin being observant as you drive. You will start to discriminate between those in extreme poverty and the others. When you see someone truly in need, stop, give them the bag of food, say nothing, and drive off.

Doing this, you become part of the solution. It's not much. We can't help them all and we won't erase poverty. Be we can help one, once in awhile.

In my work, I go directly to where the poor live. Not everyone can or wants to do that. But you can randomly help just one. And in helping them, you will help yourself, too.

Lindsey

I do the same randomly when I am there and I have adopted a family. You do good and good will follow you. This world is circular!

 

[suarezn]

I do agree with someone's comment (I think it was DV8) about cleaning up their surrounding. Poverty is no excuse for cleanliness. As a child we lived in a shack with dirt floors. Possessions were a Tinaja, a "bed" and two "chairs", but still you could eat off our dirt floors. We didn't do our business anywhere nearby and always covered it (cat style). Our "yard" was well taken care off and my grandma built a fogon (actually a very nice one) out of mud out the back. I think some people just get used to living in these conditions to the point where they don't even notice the filth around.

I never understood this. To me it points to some mental illness or deficiency. If I found myself homeless, why in the world would I stay in Santo Domingo living under a bridge when I can literally go to so many other places in the DR and at least find enough fruits, vegetables and maybe even land where I could at least build a better shack. It's like the homeless people who stay in the streets of Detroit freezing to death during the winter...why? At least go somewhere warm...you have nothing holding you back...You're going to build a mud house then build it large for god's sake is freaking free mud...but I guess the ability to reason and think logically somewhat is what sets us apart and why they're homeless and we're not.

 

[dv8]

yes. they say: so many rats, smell is horrible, the woman had cholera. but they do not see they are responsible for this part. clean up and there will be no smell, no rats and no cholera.

 

[puryear270]

I do agree with someone's comment (I think it was DV8) about cleaning up their surrounding. Poverty is no excuse for cleanliness. As a child we lived in a shack with dirt floors. Possessions were a Tinaja, a "bed" and two "chairs", but still you could eat off our dirt floors. We didn't do our business anywhere nearby and always covered it (cat style). Our "yard" was well taken care off and my grandma built a fogon (actually a very nice one) out of mud out the back. I think some people just get used to living in these conditions to the point where they don't even notice the filth around.

I never understood this. To me it points to some mental illness or deficiency. If I found myself homeless, why in the world would I stay in Santo Domingo living under a bridge when I can literally go to so many other places in the DR and at least find enough fruits, vegetables and maybe even land where I could at least build a better shack. It's like the homeless people who stay in the streets of Detroit freezing to death during the winter...why? At least go somewhere warm...you have nothing holding you back...You're going to build a mud house then build it large for god's sake is freaking free mud...but I guess the ability to reason and think logically somewhat is what sets us apart and why they're homeless and we're not.

yes. they say: so many rats, smell is horrible, the woman had cholera. but they do not see they are responsible for this part. clean up and there will be no smell, no rats and no cholera.

EDUCATION.

And think about the future.

Over the years, I have found that there are many reasons for poverty. As you point out, mental illness and mental deficiency, as you mention, are definitely factors. Poor self-esteem and depression are self-fulfilling. Also, they get so focused on surviving for the moment that they forget about tomorrow.

If they clean up the area under the bridge, then in their mind, that makes their situation more permanent and they are going to be staying there. They have every intention of leaving tomorrow. Also, if they clean up, then people will think they have money and will steal what little they have. And finally, it does no good to clean up if the neighbor does not. That brings up a number of different issues.

As I mentioned above, helping people leads to frustration many times because they don't see the world as I see the world. It takes patience and lots of education in small bits and pieces.

 

[Criss Colon]

Save your 10 pesos chip, you can't "BUY" your way into heaven!!!
My Mom really screwed up my mind when I was growing up!
She taught me that you can't buy your way into heaven,but let your "Good Deeds" open the doors for you.
Some "Charitable People" slam a few coins into the Church's tin collection plate on Sunday.
They want everyone to know how generous they are.
I was always suspicious of those who "Made Change" after putting a "Note" of unseen value into the plate???????
chip is like the guy who arrived at the "Pearly Gates", and Saint Peter wouldn't let him pass.
"Why Not"????
Saint Peter said that he had done absolutely nothing good in his lifetime.
"You, stole, you cheated, you were abusive, you lied,and you were a Liberal Progressive Democrat!( I added the last one)
The guy respond s by saying,
"In 1986, I gave a dollar to a beggar"!
Saint Peter reaches into his robe, takes out a dollar, hands it to the guy, and says,"Now Go To HELL"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As far as "Charity" is concerned, the ONLY good kind is the kind that no one knows about!!!!
Anyone who does a "Tell All" about what they do, is more concerned about their perceived personal image, than the well being of the recipient.
Let your "Good Deeds" speak for you, not your "Good Words"!!!!
During the "60's" President Lyndon Johnson declared a "War On Poverty"!!!!!!!

I went out and shot some poor people!!!! :cheeky::cheeky::cheeky:

 

[Chip]

CC you are confused, helping people is a reward in of itself.

Fortunately for poor people here, Dominicans as a whole are very generous and help with the little they have. I highly recommend this for it's own sake.

 

[delite]

Save your 10 pesos chip, you can't "BUY" your way into heaven!!!
My Mom really screwed up my mind when I was growing up!
She taught me that you can't buy your way into heaven,but let your "Good Deeds" open the doors for you.
Some "Charitable People" slam a few coins into the Church's tin collection plate on Sunday.
They want everyone to know how generous they are.
I was always suspicious of those who "Made Change" after putting a "Note" of unseen value into the plate???????
chip is like the guy who arrived at the "Pearly Gates", and Saint Peter wouldn't let him pass.
"Why Not"????
Saint Peter said that he had done absolutely nothing good in his lifetime.
"You, stole, you cheated, you were abusive, you lied,and you were a Liberal Progressive Democrat!( I added the last one)
The guy respond s by saying,
"In 1986, I gave a dollar to a beggar"!
Saint Peter reaches into his robe, takes out a dollar, hands it to the guy, and says,"Now Go To HELL"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As far as "Charity" is concerned, the ONLY good kind is the kind that no one knows about!!!!
Anyone who does a "Tell All" about what they do, is more concerned about their perceived personal image, than the well being of the recipient.
Let your "Good Deeds" speak for you, not your "Good Words"!!!!
During the "60's" President Lyndon Johnson declared a "War On Poverty"!!!!!!!

I went out and shot some poor people!!!! :cheeky::cheeky::cheeky:

Bro, you're hilarious! :laugh:

 

[Criss Colon]

chip, you just really don't "Get It", do you?????
Anyone who actually feels good about giving a poor person here 10 pesos is delusional.
Rewarding Begging is a fools' errand!
I guess THAT explains why you do it!
Don't dislocate your shoulder, patting yourself on the back!!!
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
"Delite", and YOU need to post more often! :bunny::bunny::bunny:

 

[Chip]

chip, you just really don't "Get It", do you?????
Anyone who actually feels good about giving a poor person here 10 pesos is delusional.
Rewarding Begging is a fools' errand!
I guess THAT explains why you do it!
Don't dislocate your shoulder, patting yourself on the back!!!
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
"Delite", and YOU need to post more often! :bunny::bunny::bunny:

You are perpetually confused my fren, my remark about giving RD10 was for cheap people with half a heart, I give more of course.

 

[delite]

chip, you just really don't "Get It", do you?????
Anyone who actually feels good about giving a poor person here 10 pesos is delusional.
Rewarding Begging is a fools' errand!
I guess THAT explains why you do it!
Don't dislocate your shoulder, patting yourself on the back!!!
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
"Delite", and YOU need to post more often! :bunny::bunny::bunny:

As long as you keep it witty, I might just add to the masquerade. :laugh:

 

[cobraboy]

i do not believe in beggars since i found about rent-a-cripple business venture. some young, healthy and perfectly capable people rent a crippled kid from the family, roll him over to the busy intersection and collect money. of course they get to keep most of the cash and the family of a cripple gets a low daily rate. few beggars here in POP are also known for their drinking habit.

I know beggars with physical problems that have refused surgery and constantly pick scabs to go after the heartstrings for money.

 

[jilly777]

Post edited by Robert.

Keep it up and your gone, for good!

 

[Harleysrock]

Giving money just makes the problem WORSE!!! I will never give money to beggars! Why would they attempt to work if people just give them money for doing NOTHING!!!
It has nothing to do with cheap or heartless people. I think people who give money are doing way more harm than good!!

Giving food, or volunteering is more helpful!
I don't see many starving Dominicans! I see a few overweight poor Domincans in our Village as food grows everywhere!! (Where we live anyways).

 

[Criss Colon]

"Cobraboy' you need to "PICK" better friends!!!
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC"Harley" those "Fat" dominicans are fat, because they eat fried salami,fried cheese, Fried EVERYTHING.
With plenty of SALT, washed down with "Fru Pun" loaded with sugar!!!
Diabetes and high blood pressure for the adults, and anemia for the kids as they wait their turn.
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

 

[expatsooner]

My first month living in the DR a kid came to my door asking for money saying he and his family were hungry. I made up a bag of different root veggies, noodles and seasoning cubes - everything needed for a pot of veggie soup. I watched from my balcony as the kid threw it into the gutter. He was back the next week wanting money for medicine. I blistered his ears and told him off. I also experienced mothers refusing to let me buy food for the babies they were holding, they only wanted cash.

So I never give money - only food, school supplies or personal hygiene items. I used to stock up on toothbrushes when they were on sale in the States during the summer and keep a supply of them along with travel size toothpaste in my glove box.

 

[puryear270]

My first month living in the DR a kid came to my door asking for money saying he and his family were hungry. I made up a bag of different root veggies, noodles and seasoning cubes - everything needed for a pot of veggie soup. I watched from my balcony as the kid threw it into the gutter. He was back the next week wanting money for medicine. I blistered his ears and told him off. I also experienced mothers refusing to let me buy food for the babies they were holding, they only wanted cash.

So I never give money - only food, school supplies or personal hygiene items. I used to stock up on toothbrushes when they were on sale in the States during the summer and keep a supply of them along with travel size toothpaste in my glove box.

Once they find out you will give them food or offer to purchase the medicine for them, they start asking for money for "pasaje". One guy got very irate when I told him his feet were fine and he could walk to his house (as he only lived half a kilometer away).

On the other hand, I know of one guy who begs in Bani, who for him it's all about self-esteem. His mother was a nutcase and convinced him that he could was too sick to work. He truly does have some mental development issues, so his family (brother and sister from the same father) makes sure he is fed and clothed every day. But when he begs all day and doesn't get anything, he gets depressed. Once someone gives him 5 pesos, he becomes an entirely different person. That's how he gets his sense of self-worth. Once I learned he loves mangos, I would bring him one or two, and he was the happiest person in the world.

I always try to remember: "There but for the grace of God go I." And then I add, "And a mother who wouldn't let me feel sorry for myself and a father who made my butt get out of bed and go work on the farm."

 

[Wishing you well]

"Cobraboy' you need to "PICK" better friends!!!
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC"Harley" those "Fat" dominicans are fat, because they eat fried salami,fried cheese, Fried EVERYTHING.
With plenty of SALT, washed down with "Fru Pun" loaded with sugar!!!
Diabetes and high blood pressure for the adults, and anemia for the kids as they wait their turn.
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

Sort'a mirrors those trailer trash mothers feeding their babies with greasy Wendy Burgers and fries, hamburger helper, and Great Value Walmart grape juice. Just disgusting and so sad!

Only difference is that in DR, the mothers don't get the privilege to receive WIC, Section 8, nor food stamps. At the least, they would not have the temptation to re-sale the goods received to put it to use in twisted manners.

Long live my taxes.

 

[cobraboy]

Sort'a mirrors those trailer trash mothers feeding their babies with greasy Wendy Burgers and fries, hamburger helper, and Great Value Walmart grape juice. Just disgusting and so sad!

Trailer trash?

You don't think the exact same thing doesn't happen in the urban areas? Or worse?