What do I say?

zoomzx11

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Jan 21, 2006
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For me

I would say "good luck and best wishes, she's lovely! At least she has a guy who will (most probably) not cheat on her, take care of her and maybe her family and treat her with respect. Lots better than she is likely to find from the average Dominican tigre. He will pass on before her and hopefully leave her taken care of financially. Not a bad deal overall for the both of them. He gets his trophy wife and she gets financial security. Would she be better off with a poor Dominican guy her own age? I'd say she is lots better off than she was without her new abuelo.
 
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puryear270

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Aug 26, 2009
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i'm wondering how you figured all of this out. surely you have some pre-disposed notion about middle age men and young dominican women. :ermm:

The body language of these two was absolutely fascinating. That's why I couldn't help but watch.

They were so different from the other drop-dead gorgeous Dominican men and middle aged overweight American and European men. (And I might add that there was one handsome Dominican lad with an elderly American male.)

But the others didn't speak to me as this man did, so that's why I was asking this question.
 

Taino808

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Oct 10, 2010
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I see no difference between a wealthy middle-aged man achieving happiness through an over priced penis empowering sports car, and a less wealthy middle-aged man buying his happiness through a somewhat attractive Dominican ?morenita?.

The wealthier middle-aged man won?t ever be happy because the car won?t make him more virile or attractive to the opposite sex, where as, the other middle-aged man with Dominican wife by his side will receive some sexual satisfaction, at least until she receives her permanent papers. Regardless, the end result will be the same, both their self worth will be ruined.

Don?t hate the player, hate the game.
 

puryear270

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Aug 26, 2009
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I would say "good luck and best wishes, she's lovely! At least she has a guy who will (most probably) not cheat on her, take care of her and maybe her family and treat her with respect. Lots better than she is likely to find from the average Dominican tigre. He will pass on before her and hopefully leave her taken care of financially. Not a bad deal overall for the both of them. He gets his trophy wife and she gets financial security. Would she be better off with a poor Dominican guy her own age? I'd say she is lots better off than she was without her new abuelo.

THIS IS THE ANSWER I FIND HELPFUL and puts everything in perspective.

I was trying not to judge the couple, and if the man hadn't spoken to me, I would have most definitely kept my mouth shut. And besides, if I had said anything, it would have not made a bit of difference to either of them.

If you'll go back and read all of my original post, I was looking for something to think about so that I didn't laugh. This really does put it all into perspective for me.
 

wrecksum

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Sep 27, 2010
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I'm sure this has happened to others.

In Samana this past week, while waiting to get on the whale watching boat, I saw a latter-middle-aged fellow with a beautiful Dominican woman. It seemed (to me) that he was madly in love with her and that she was counting the days until she had the conditional status removed from her permanent residence.

As it turns out, we ended up in line together and the fellow struck up a conversation, introducing me to his "love" that he was going to be taking back to the United States.

I could tell from the conversation that he was really happy and was sort of searching for me to say "Congratulations", or something to that effect.

Fortunately, it was my turn to get into the boat at that moment, so I was saved. But I want to be prepared for the next time.

So, my first question is: What do you think about so that you don't double over laughing or slap the man upside the head in the hopes it will knock some sense into him?

And secondly: What do you say to someone like this? I'm thinking, "I wish you both well."
What to do?

You put aside your pre-conceived ideas and realise that this man is quite mature enough and has successfully got that far along life's path without your input and knows perfectly well what he is doing.

If you care to offer up a phrase then why not:-

"You're a lucky man, enjoy your visit, let's hope we see some nice Whales and I wish you the best for the future."

Or "That's great, let me buy you a beer".

Why should this be difficult?
 

bachata

Silver
Aug 18, 2007
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who cares? When they remove her conditional status she wont be a young woman anymore, IF he really decides to bring her. I think people sometimes get exactly what they ask for.
Can you explain for me what is the conditional status, you know I'm in the group of the no so smart DR1ers...

JJ
 

puryear270

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Aug 26, 2009
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Can you explain for me what is the conditional status, you know I'm in the group of the no so smart DR1ers...

JJ

When a person gets permanent residence through marrying an American citizen, they are granted Conditional residency. Basically, the status is based on the condition that the person proves he or she married the US citizen for love and not for residency. After two years of remaining married, the person can apply to have the conditional part of the residency removed and then become a permanent resident.

There was a bit of confustion earlier in the thread: if a person receives permanent residence through marriage, he/she is eligible for naturalization three years after being granted (conditional) residency. If the person receives residency through another avenue, that person must wait five years befor applying for citizenship.

The "thinking" behind this is that if a person marries only for papers, the marriage will not last for two years.

The thinking behind the citizenship after three years is: if the couple want to travel, both having a US passport will be of assistance to them.

The two statutes were passed independently of each other.
 

puryear270

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Aug 26, 2009
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What to do?

You put aside your pre-conceived ideas and realise that this man is quite mature enough and has successfully got that far along life's path without your input and knows perfectly well what he is doing.

What's with the attitude?
 

bachata

Silver
Aug 18, 2007
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When a person gets permanent residence through marrying an American citizen, they are granted Conditional residency. Basically, the status is based on the condition that the person proves he or she married the US citizen for love and not for residency. After two years of remaining married, the person can apply to have the conditional part of the residency removed and then become a permanent resident.

There was a bit of confustion earlier in the thread: if a person receives permanent residence through marriage, he/she is eligible for naturalization three years after being granted (conditional) residency. If the person receives residency through another avenue, that person must wait five years befor applying for citizenship.

The "thinking" behind this is that if a person marries only for papers, the marriage will not last for two years.

The thinking behind the citizenship after three years is: if the couple want to travel, both having a US passport will be of assistance to them.

The two statutes were passed independently of each other.

Thanks I got it. my confusion was because I received the 10 years permanent resident card two weeks after my arrival, must be because we was married more than two years before I came to US territory.

JJ
 

SantiagoDR

Forever a Clown
Jan 12, 2006
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... The 3 and 5 years to which you refer is actually 5 and 7 years as the 2 year temporary visa period does not count. Eligibility for citizenship begins 3 (spouse) and 5 (others) years from the date that the applicant is approved for permanent resident alien (I hate that term) status.

The two years of Conditional residency does count.

What does not count in the case of a K-1 VISA (Fiancee) is the time it takes to get the Conditional Residency card.

My wife came up in November 1997, it took 13 months to get the appointment for the Conditional Residency card (Jan, 1999). At the 3 year mark from Jan, 1999 she applied for citizenship and had her swearing in September 2002. Just under 5 years total, what we lost and what did not count for anything was the 13 months in limbo, from Nov,1997 to Jan, 1999.

Minus the time in limbo, it took roughly 3 years 8 months.

For 13 months she was in "No where land"...........
 

bachata

Silver
Aug 18, 2007
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The two years of Conditional residency does count.

What does not count in the case of a K-1 VISA (Fiancee) is the time it takes to get the Conditional Residency card.

My wife came up in November 1997, it took 13 months to get the appointment for the Conditional Residency card (Jan, 1999). At the 3 year mark from Jan, 1999 she applied for citizenship and had her swearing in September 2002. Just under 5 years total, what we lost and what did not count for anything was the 13 months in limbo, from Nov,1997 to Jan, 1999.

Minus the time in limbo, it took roughly 3 years 8 months.

For 13 months she was in "No where land"...........
So, the count starts three years after the green card is issued??? No three years after US territory entry.

JJ
 

puryear270

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Aug 26, 2009
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So, the count starts three years after the green card is issued??? No three years after US territory entry.

JJ

When I was working in this stuff, the three years starts with the date on the back of the residency card. The green card is supposed to be back-dated to the date your application for residency is approved, but it didn't always happen.

The processing center backlogs were always an issue that added extra time. This was back in the days before electronic filing.

Each case was always a little bit different and it was difficult to compare one case to another, even though people would tell me that Fulano got his card in four months and they couldn't understand why theirs was taking a year. Oh, how many times I wanted to say, "That's because Fulano doesn't have a previous marriage and a judgement on his record of flagrant non-support of a dependent child."

Which brings me back to the original post, and now I'm thinking that maybe I'm starting to become cynical.
 

Berzin

Banned
Nov 17, 2004
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Puryear270-this is what you should do the next time you are confronted with such a scenario-

Tell the guy his woman is an absolute whore, and he is a loser with no self-esteem who should be ashamed of himself parading around with her as if she is some high society debutante model type.

If he demands proof of her unrepentant whorosity, pull out your laptop and show him photos that various lowlife whoremongers have taken of her on insearchofchicas.org. in compromising positions.

If he asks why she is smiling in all the photos but never does so when he's around, tell him that a "cuero del diablo" only displays authentic happiness when in the environs of her natural habitat, which of course is either Sosua or Boca Chica.

The loser in question should also be informed in no uncertain terms that he will be ostracized by real Dominican society for dating barrio trash. And when you say REAL Dominicans stress that you are speaking of the ones who are moving the country forward, not the ones who send their kids to the colmado to buy beer on credit so they can sit in front of their shacks getting drunk all day waiting for remittances from the US.

Also (hold on, I'm not done yet) if he asks where he can find a really classy Dominican lady from a nice, upstanding family he should go to Badoo.com. This site has been designated a whore-free zone, a place where a nice, young Dominican lady is only a mouse click away...*

*Post written for purposes of satire only and does not reflect the views, real or imagined, of any person or persons alive or dead.
 

puryear270

Bronze
Aug 26, 2009
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Whew. There for a while, I thought I was getting cynical.

I think I'll stick with, "I wish you well."

PS. And I will have to admit, she was quite the looker, so I could absolutely understand how he could fall in love with her.
 

greydread

Platinum
Jan 3, 2007
17,477
485
83
The two years of Conditional residency does count.What does not count in the case of a K-1 VISA (Fiancee) is the time it takes to get the Conditional Residency card.

My wife came up in November 1997, it took 13 months to get the appointment for the Conditional Residency card (Jan, 1999). At the 3 year mark from Jan, 1999 she applied for citizenship and had her swearing in September 2002. Just under 5 years total, what we lost and what did not count for anything was the 13 months in limbo, from Nov,1997 to Jan, 1999.

Minus the time in limbo, it took roughly 3 years 8 months.

For 13 months she was in "No where land"...........

You have been a permanent resident for 3 years or more and meet all eligibility requirements to file as a spouse of a U.S. citizen. See the ?For Spouses of U.S. Citizens? link under ?Citizenship Through Naturalization? to the left.
This is from the USCIS website (current) and I took it literally as stated that the wait was 3 years filing as a spouse from the time that the permanent visa is secured. At least 2 years of temporary residency must pass before one is even considered for permanent residency. "Conditional residency" is different from temporary residency. It's usually applied to those who entered the country on the K-1 visa and limits travel outside the country. The period of "conditional" residency is the difference between the date of entry and the date of the marriage. I have no experience with this as in my case she had already converted from a student visa to a work (H-1) visa. We didn't apply for temporary resident until after we were married.

All the temporary residency does is allow the spouse to reside and to work legally in the US. The work permit actually came as a separate document from the visa (with a separate fee, of course).
 
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greydread

Platinum
Jan 3, 2007
17,477
485
83
puryear270-this is what you should do the next time you are confronted with such a scenario-

tell the guy his woman is an absolute whore, and he is a loser with no self-esteem who should be ashamed of himself parading around with her as if she is some high society debutante model type.

If he demands proof of her unrepentant whorosity, pull out your laptop and show him photos that various lowlife whoremongers have taken of her on insearchofchicas.org. In compromising positions.

If he asks why she is smiling in all the photos but never does so when he's around, tell him that a "cuero del diablo" only displays authentic happiness when in the environs of her natural habitat, which of course is either sosua or boca chica.

The loser in question should also be informed in no uncertain terms that he will be ostracized by real dominican society for dating barrio trash. And when you say real dominicans stress that you are speaking of the ones who are moving the country forward, not the ones who send their kids to the colmado to buy beer on credit so they can sit in front of their shacks getting drunk all day waiting for remittances from the us.

Also (hold on, i'm not done yet) if he asks where he can find a really classy dominican lady from a nice, upstanding family he should go to badoo.com. This site has been designated a whore-free zone, a place where a nice, young dominican lady is only a mouse click away...*

*post written for purposes of satire only and does not reflect the views, real or imagined, of any person or persons alive or dead.

bwaaahahahaaa! This should be a sticky (in the Clown Bin)
 

puryear270

Bronze
Aug 26, 2009
935
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0
Whose attitude?

It could have been me you're talking about for all you know?

Ah DR1.!
Quick to judge, slow to forgive.

Are you from the US and taking the love of your life back there to live?

And does your significant other have a look on her face that says she is totally miserable?

Read the original post closely and get the chip off your shoulder.

Ah DR1!
Too quick to read what isn't there.

And for the record, I've seen other relationships of middle aged men and beautiful Dominicans and they all seem happy and I'm happy for them that they have found at least some semblance of love. But this couple was completely different from that.
 
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