Also Its so.....telling...what you think of bell hooks when it just so happens that what she expresses in her books matches the struggle of lower class, dark dominican women. this is the link i feel i have with african americans. there are so many paralells. it shows how far removed many are from the thoughts, feelings, experiences and motivations of women of color...probably women in general. just as many are far removed from what it is to be the "darkie" in society--to try and draw a paralell that you may better understand. theres a whole lot of obliviousness going on. it doesnt help anyone.
- Thread starter Adrian Bye
- Start date
Who has happier relationships?
RacerX has NO idea what he is talking about. Anyone who has read his posts on this subject would understand that.
For ANYONE to say all women have the right to just say NO has his head so far..........well nevermind. He does NOT get it and never will.
You all can just stop waiting your breath.
Popnychic - you make some very good points. I think you bring a lot of Dominican perspective to this and other threads. Good on you.
For ANYONE to say all women have the right to just say NO has his head so far..........well nevermind. He does NOT get it and never will.
You all can just stop waiting your breath.
Popnychic - you make some very good points. I think you bring a lot of Dominican perspective to this and other threads. Good on you.
dmv, i try.
its quite sad that anyone could think the fact that most dominican women fit the clinical definition of a battered woman is acceptable and "they ask for it and like it"--and that the classic behavior that comes along w being a battered person is proof of dominican womens inferiority and lack of self control. its unthinkable to assume men play no role in it or only behave that way because "women make them". i do not take lightly to those kinds of assumptions. theyre plain inhumane.
and.....yeah. i will stop derailing this thread. but it had to be said given the conjectures that were made.
its quite sad that anyone could think the fact that most dominican women fit the clinical definition of a battered woman is acceptable and "they ask for it and like it"--and that the classic behavior that comes along w being a battered person is proof of dominican womens inferiority and lack of self control. its unthinkable to assume men play no role in it or only behave that way because "women make them". i do not take lightly to those kinds of assumptions. theyre plain inhumane.
and.....yeah. i will stop derailing this thread. but it had to be said given the conjectures that were made.
Possibly, but I would still like him to respond to my question, because unless we engage there is no elucidation.
So, RacerX, a response please, if you would be so kind. Thank you.
Lambada - just so you know my comment was not in reference to you. It was more general in nature regarding his ability to address this subject.
RacerX - I often agree with your responses on other threads - but not this one....
Having " no choice" when it comes to leaving a relationship doesn't mean it's happier or better in the DR. The divorce rates might be lower ( I have no stats on that) in the DR but have a good look at the stats on physical abuse and murder of a spouse and then let me know which is happier or better.
Good topic!
you know I was going to answer Latino, only because they have just come to accept the infidelitys of their men......but then I read your post and realize, because they stay together doesnt mean they are happier!!!!
I seen it first hand...the promisses to not do it again and be good for the 11th time and so on, and the weak acceptance of that promise...knowing what other recourse does she have???
bad bob
Family First
Although many posters are more educated than myself, I would like to add my thoughts based on several years of living in the D.R. and living,visiting and working in several other latin american countries.
In my experience with latin american people, family comes first. Most women, or men, who are having trouble in thier marriage are always welcome at thier parents( or aunt and uncle, prima etc.) home.The family will defend and support to the death the son or daughter against anyone.
A bad decision is a bad decision and you will suffer for it regardless of nationality, race or sex. You chose to marry or live with the love of your life and when things go wrong you have to make the best of it or get out and try again. Most people do not seem willing to give up a relationship due to economical benifit.They look at what they will lose financially, rather than what could be gained emotionally.
I take exception to people saying that Dominicanos have more "game"(wtf is game?) and that north american males are less macho and that dominican women are only interested in visas and wallets. My Dominican wife,of 4 years plus is not reaching for my wallet every night when the lights go out...and I mean every night.( I have the right to refuse ,but, she is in a bad mood the next day):cheeky:
Although many posters are more educated than myself, I would like to add my thoughts based on several years of living in the D.R. and living,visiting and working in several other latin american countries.
In my experience with latin american people, family comes first. Most women, or men, who are having trouble in thier marriage are always welcome at thier parents( or aunt and uncle, prima etc.) home.The family will defend and support to the death the son or daughter against anyone.
A bad decision is a bad decision and you will suffer for it regardless of nationality, race or sex. You chose to marry or live with the love of your life and when things go wrong you have to make the best of it or get out and try again. Most people do not seem willing to give up a relationship due to economical benifit.They look at what they will lose financially, rather than what could be gained emotionally.
I take exception to people saying that Dominicanos have more "game"(wtf is game?) and that north american males are less macho and that dominican women are only interested in visas and wallets. My Dominican wife,of 4 years plus is not reaching for my wallet every night when the lights go out...and I mean every night.( I have the right to refuse ,but, she is in a bad mood the next day):cheeky:
I m sorry bro, I think you were all over the road there at points. Maybe she doesnt take it from your pants pockets because if you get peeved and give her the boot she wont have a way to explain it to those friends and family you mentioned. She s in a bad mood for a few days because you wont give her money the day she asks for it. That sounds self explanatory to me. If she ddnt want your wallet she wouldnt get upset for a few days nor ask you every night, right? Unless I read what you wrote wrong.
Like I said, there is always a way out, but it has its own cost also. She can leave at any point in time but her lifestyle may change consequently.
Bro...???
The informal way in which you write your response suggests familiarity...do we know each other?
The point and humerous comment that I closed with was to attempt to show that Dominican women are intersted in things other than wallets,visas and self proclaimed macho dominicanos. My Dominican wife is reaching for something that is not made of leather, when the lights go out...is this clear enough for you speedy?:tired:
The informal way in which you write your response suggests familiarity...do we know each other?
The point and humerous comment that I closed with was to attempt to show that Dominican women are intersted in things other than wallets,visas and self proclaimed macho dominicanos. My Dominican wife is reaching for something that is not made of leather, when the lights go out...is this clear enough for you speedy?:tired:
lol some dominican women...those who you see flocking like mosquitoes to the only warm body around, to foreigners, giving some naive foreigners the impression that its because they prefer them to dominican men are often after material gain and little else.
MOST dominican women arent flocking to anyone really--dominican men are quick to persue so theres no need for it. Sure some women are still agressive but most don't bother. No woman is without several advances per day. They arent all that intent on material gains...if they were they would never be with anyone. Afterall, the DR is still a nation where over half of the populace lives in poverty. Most dominican women end up with dominican men because they understand each other better. This is the case within any culture.
Many Dominican women who simply want a stable, loving person, marry foreigners and many of those relationships are great. Others not so much. C'est la vie.
and as for "game"...within every culture there are certain styles of approach when it comes to romantic relationships. in the dominican one, men are taught from an early age to be assertive and slick talkers. its not uncommon to see an 8 year old boy catcalling or sweet-talking the female passersby just like he sees his brothers, uncles, father,male friends do.
as a dominican woman whos married to a foreigner and has been approached by men of all backgrounds, i can honestly say i can point out the dominicans---their expressions and general approach.... its just distinct--very latin american but uniquely dominican lol. many ladies from all over the world swoon over it. if you're the kind of woman who falls for their particular brand of "game" (and that happens to include most dominican women---they are born and bred to feed into it as its all cultural), they do have more game than others! This doesnt mean they wont fall for a foreigner just as well. I woudnt say any approach is better..theyre just different means to the same end.
If youre like me, who is utterly unimpressed by that stuff, no. No one has any game lol
MOST dominican women arent flocking to anyone really--dominican men are quick to persue so theres no need for it. Sure some women are still agressive but most don't bother. No woman is without several advances per day. They arent all that intent on material gains...if they were they would never be with anyone. Afterall, the DR is still a nation where over half of the populace lives in poverty. Most dominican women end up with dominican men because they understand each other better. This is the case within any culture.
Many Dominican women who simply want a stable, loving person, marry foreigners and many of those relationships are great. Others not so much. C'est la vie.
and as for "game"...within every culture there are certain styles of approach when it comes to romantic relationships. in the dominican one, men are taught from an early age to be assertive and slick talkers. its not uncommon to see an 8 year old boy catcalling or sweet-talking the female passersby just like he sees his brothers, uncles, father,male friends do.
as a dominican woman whos married to a foreigner and has been approached by men of all backgrounds, i can honestly say i can point out the dominicans---their expressions and general approach.... its just distinct--very latin american but uniquely dominican lol. many ladies from all over the world swoon over it. if you're the kind of woman who falls for their particular brand of "game" (and that happens to include most dominican women---they are born and bred to feed into it as its all cultural), they do have more game than others! This doesnt mean they wont fall for a foreigner just as well. I woudnt say any approach is better..theyre just different means to the same end.
If youre like me, who is utterly unimpressed by that stuff, no. No one has any game lol
Not true, there are MANY attractive women who never get ANY advances. In this the DR, US and the rest of the world are exactly the same. The older a woman, the more children she has determines the desirability she has. This place is just like Colombia where there are 7 women for each available man...discounting the wealthy retired foreign pensioners and domestic dudes who are married with a babe(s, families) on the side.
And I have never seen catcalls work with anyone here or in the US who wasnt a hoodrat in the first place. Like those babes who hang out at the Monument on Saturday nights in the Daisy Duke hotpants. So if a Dominican guy uses catcalls as part of his repertoire then he is already at a disadvantage with a foreign dude or anybody not looking for a ghetto chick.
Most credible thing you have ever said.
There are nuances in the interpersonal communication between males and females here that you have to learn by osmosis.
Nope. I disagree. People toll their own road with respect to this. You believe what you hear because you want to believe it. They have no more game or better rap than anyone else. If the recipient is awaiting the illusions that the seller sets up, then his entire approach is to just feed into the story they have established, Dominican, PortoRican, Colombian, Greek, Italian, whatever. This is why sirens were beautiful and goyles were ugly.
Of course, I m too insensitive to see it any other way...but then again I dont need game.
And although I never got to answer her question I did have one, but anyway...RIP Lambada.