Why don't they take the baby father to court?

[bronzeallspice]

The Dominican family I am helping now is I guess classic for why this country is a failed state for most of its citizens. The mother has 4 daughters by 3 fathers. None of the 3 fathers have ever supported their daughters. From what i know the mother has never taken the deadbeat fathers to court. Now the youngest daughter 16 yo is pregnant by a 35 yo dominican guy who apparently has fathered 5 other children that he is not supporting. Yes I told them Uncle Sugar may cut off support if they dont go to court after she delivers but what i am hearing is she can expect at best about 1000-2000 pesos a month support? No one w a child can live on that.

But it doesn't matter. She needs to go to court no matter how meager the amount.
They cannot allow the father off the hook or they will never learn. They say 1000-
2000 is not enough but it does help. Believe me she will accept it. She should have
thought about that BEFORE she decided to have a child(contraceptives are available
for free ( at free clinics) No reason whatsoever.


Do not take it upon yourself to continue to support her, if they see this, they will
have no initiative to do anything on their own and will always rely on others to do
things for them. Sometimes you have to pull back and let them go through hard
ships in order for them to learn.(it's called tough love)


1000 or 2000 pesos may not be enough for a child but it's more than what she has or
will have which is nothing.

Sometimes I marvel at the mentality of most of these women.

 

[jh69]

It is not worth it take the sperm donors to court. I am a product of this kind of situation however, I am lucky. When my mother was pregnant with me, my sperm donor (as he has never been in my life he does not deserve to be called my father) turned his back on her. My mother in turn being the very proud woman that she is just swallowed her pride and took on as many jobs to be able to provide for me. This was in the early 80s so this mentality has been going on for quite a long time. When I was born she told him to go and declare me give him her cedula and everything. He never did. This was the best thing he ever did for me as the man that I consider to be my father as he has taken care of me since I was five years old is listed as my father.

This man now has about 10-15 children all with different women. Some of us were lucky because we had real men that stepped up and became our fathers so we had a proper home and family. Others were not so lucky even though they were given an opportunity to have a better life in America. What's even worse though, is that this man is still spreading his seeds and being irresponsible. Just this year I was told by one of my sibling's mother that he was going to be a father again:surprised , I only shook my head in disgust. My sibling's mother also told me that he left the country where he was and she had him paying child support without even telling her. He also stopped talking to her and even looking for my sibling once the order was made. Luckily though, she has a real man in her life that is a father to my sibling.

So really it's not worth it, and I am glad that he was never in my life and that my mother never went after him because of that I have a better life.

 

[bronzeallspice]

It is still worth it, only for the simple reason that by taking these dead beat fathers to court
(making them responsible) they will think about it next time and know that if they continue
to impregnate women it will not be left unpunished. They will have to provide for them, no
body is saying that they have to be a part of their lives.

This is the reason why so many Dominican men don't care and get away with it because many Dominican women think it's not worth it.They need to put a stop to the cycle of abuse.

 

[jh69]

Like I stated above, one of my sibling's mother took our sperm donor to court (they live in another country where laws are followed and enforced) and he still left to go to another country and got some other woman pregnant. Unfortunately to get a lawyer to try and enforce the child support order in the country he now lives in will cost them money that they don't have. But if a 50 something year old man has not changed his ways when he was taken to court I don't expect him to change at all. Can't teach an old dog new tricks...

 

[bronzeallspice]

I hear you, that's why it should have been done from the get go. I bet if each one of those
women would've taking him to court he would have thought better knowing that he
would not be getting away with it.

Bottom line these women can't continue to let these men go unpunished
and wait for someone else to take the responsibilities. Even if he does
get them pregnant, he will have to pay child support.

 

[keepcoming]

My BIL is a classic example (not that I am too proud of it either). Has lets see 5 kids with different women (none to bright I might add). They have all threatened at one time or another to take him to court but none have. They just show up at my MIL's house ( yes he still lives there with my in-laws) have some "words" exchanged and may walk out with some money to buy pampers and leche. The only one that ever really did something was the one who took his daughter to my MIL's when it was time for the girl to start school and told him it was his turn now and left the little girl there (she is now 13) and then the woman took off, got a job in the capital and started a new life. She married and does send money back to my MIL's house to help with the girl. The rest of them just come around the house, argue with him and leave. And I do see this type of thing all the time. It is like the norm here for some. A guy has a kid with some woman and you know he does not take care of the kid so what on earth would make you think he would be any different with you if you had his kid, just a example of how some women just do not think. I can remember telling a couple of the women who are the mothers to my BIL's kids to YES please take him to court, it would serve him right but they never do.

 

[dv8]

yeah. some time ago i saw a video from dominican news about a sick woman. her major complain? "soy desesperada porque nadie me da nada".

and i do not understand the attitude of not taking a non paying dad to court so he can serve time because when he is in prison he cannot make money. what's the problem? you are not getting money from him anyway. may just as well have him do time so he learns the lesson.

 

[bronzeallspice]

My ex's sister had the same predicament (a non paying father with numerous kids) Whenever we pushed her to take him to court, all she'd say is "he can't earn money to pay me if he's locked up."

Even though the kid didn't have a job, wasn't worried about finding a job, and could care less about paying for his kids. For her, it was better that he was in the streets, just in case he had a change of heart and started to earn money.

As it was, he ended up being executed in an "ajuste de cuentas", while driving a new car(even though he didn't work).

By the way, anybody else see this story a couple of days ago? 18 with 4 kids....

[video=youtube;EuhwYFZmOwQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EuhwYFZmOwQ[/video]

She's just wwiting for somebody to "help" her.

The way that I would help her is by buying her a year's supply of birth control pills. She needs a break!

 

[bronzeallspice]

yeah. some time ago i saw a video from dominican news about a sick woman. her major complain? "soy desesperada porque nadie me da nada".

and i do not understand the attitude of not taking a non paying dad to court so he can serve time because when he is in prison he cannot make money. what's the problem? you are not getting money from him anyway. may just as well have him do time so he learns the lesson.

Exactly. They are only in jail for a few months anyway.It's to teach them a lesson so they know
what can happen next time. If they still don't learn, the sentence is extended. Once they see
the reality of life in jail, most will do what it takes not to land there again.