I have been adopted 27 years ago and would like to find my real mom!!

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Carmelita

New member
Mar 5, 2011
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Hello to all forum members.
My name is Carmen i live in Germany and i was adopted 27 years ago from a german family. I would like to find my real mother who aviously abandoned me leaving me in some childrenshelter in Santo Domingo.The realtionship with my step parents is not very good and they don?t want to tell me anything whatsoever.I have the adoptionpapers and all documents from the german side.I would really appreciate if any of you who read this could help me or give me an idea how to start with . I have two adresses of women who my parents gave to me. They said if you ever want to go to the Dom.rep. you can see them. I contacted them a few years ago but they did not tell me a single word about my mother as they are probably paied and on the side of my stepparents.o that is a dead end. Again i plead to everybody of you if you have any idea or could help me in any way i would be so grateful!!!
Best
Carmen
 
Hillbilly

Hillbilly

Moderator
Jan 1, 2002
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You will certainly have to come here to resolve this. Do not be afraid, this is a nice place.

HB
 
C

Carmelita

New member
Mar 5, 2011
12
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Hello Hillbilly,
thanks for your response.I would be willing to come there but where to start. I don?t want to go there out of the blue not knowing who to contact what to do where to go. I have only limited time as i am also now a mother of a 2 year old baby girl.I would be willing to spent some money to a private investigator or anybody beeing able to get to the archives of the hospital where i was born. I don?t speak spanish so it should be somebody local. I have some informations about the procedure what happened then.I wish to find a person being able of dealing with that kind of stuff. I am sure there are ways for insiders to get to files and archives.That kind of person i need to help me. The whole thing makes me feel so bad. I can deal with everything what my biological mother could be. But i do not find peace of mind and it is bothering me very very much. It even starts to affect my daily life.I lay at night cannot sleep and so on. I really need somebody to help me with this.If you know anybody who could help me i really really would appreciate this.
Best carmen
 
Y

yanandu

Banned
Jan 23, 2011
472
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You could try the Roman Catholic church. Try and get the name of a priest near where you think you were adopted. The church may be able to give you the names of orphanages in the area - both Catholic and other.
Somewhere some place the parents must signed papers and the church would know where these papers are archived. If you can find old photos of your step parents it could help. It would help to know the religion of your step parents at the time, where they were living and their tastes etc. in hotels, food, music. Also any business connections at the time with the DR e.g. import / export. Pictures of you as a baby could help.
Other people will have other suggestions - but you should avoid getting involved with per day people unless they have a definite and reasonable list of visits and enquiry they are going to make and report back frequently.

Yanandu


Other people may have different ideas.
 
C

Carmelita

New member
Mar 5, 2011
12
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0
Hello yanandu,
thanks for the response and ideas. My stepfather was a biologe working in the DR for the DED Deutsche Entwicklungsdienst German Developing service in santo Domingo. They then moved back to Germany later.I was 3 years old when they adopted me. I know the name of the orphanage i lived and i know the hospital where i was born. Aviously i was not baptised in the DR. That happend later in Germany. I also had no last name only Carmen.I really would appreciate if you could give me more ideas what i could do.
Best Carmen
 
C

Chip

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Jul 25, 2007
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Santiago
Carmelita said:
Hello yanandu,
thanks for the response and ideas. My stepfather was a biologe working in the DR for the DED Deutsche Entwicklungsdienst German Developing service in santo Domingo. They then moved back to Germany later.I was 3 years old when they adopted me. I know the name of the orphanage i lived and i know the hospital where i was born. Aviously i was not baptised in the DR. That happend later in Germany. I also had no last name only Carmen.I really would appreciate if you could give me more ideas what i could do.
Best Carmen
Click to expand...

Someone needs to go to the hospital and orphanage and do some research, preferably you. You could also have any friends you have in Germany who speak Spanish try and call the orphanage and hospital on your behalf.

Also, what does your birth certificate say?

Also, if you came to the DR I feel certain someone would be able to translate at little or no cost for a couple of days to do the research. I recommend you come during the off season to get a cheaper flight and hotel.
 
Y

Yachtmaster

Member
Jul 2, 2007
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Wow Carmelita! Interesting story. Keep at it girl, you never know what you might find, the DR really is a great place. Being born there you have good reason to search out your family history.

Wishing you good luck and do keep us posted as to your success!
 
Last edited:
Hillbilly

Hillbilly

Moderator
Jan 1, 2002
18,948
514
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YUou could hire the Guzman and Ariza firm to do the search. (www.drlawyer.com)...they could do the footwork as far as they are legally allowed.

If you know the hospital and the approximate date, as well as the orphanage...the adoption process here is long and complicated, so there has to be a paper trail.

I wish you every good luck .

HB
 
S

suarezn

Gold
Feb 3, 2002
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Hmmmm...I wish you the best of luck. One thing is you need to be mentally prepared to not like what you may find. There aren't many orphanages in The DR because even nowadays it is EXTREMELY rare that a Dominican mother would abandon her kids and even rarer that she would abandon them and there would be no other family to take them in, even in the face of extreme poverty.
 
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C

Carmelita

New member
Mar 5, 2011
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Hello to all !!
Thank you so much for your responses. I am aware that it might be a bad even worse or an extrem terrible story what had happened then and why i ended up in that orphanage. But to live exactly with that big questionmark makes my life even worse. If i knew what happened i at least could try to put that behind of me and find some peace of mind. And if my mother would be whatever she could be i would be in the position to make the desicion if i want to meet her or not. Again thank you very very very much for trying to help me. Please do not let me down and if you have any other ideas please feel free to let me know.
Again i have the hospital name i was born, the name of the orphanage i lived until i was 3 years old and of course my birthdate.
Thank you again
Carmen
 
Y

yanandu

Banned
Jan 23, 2011
472
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Yes, it sounds possible unless someone has paid for the documentation to be removed.
One hears of illegal ' adoptions ' attempted in the DR.

There are cases I have known where it is absolutely impossible to trace real parents - one case of a baby found during an emergency evacuation in a war and adopted comes to mind.

So best of luck in finding the real circumstances.

Yanandu
 
A

AnnaC

Gold
Jan 2, 2002
16,050
418
83
Chip said:
Someone needs to go to the hospital and orphanage and do some research, preferably you. You could also have any friends you have in Germany who speak Spanish try and call the orphanage and hospital on your behalf.

Also, what does your birth certificate say?

Also, if you came to the DR I feel certain someone would be able to translate at little or no cost for a couple of days to do the research. I recommend you come during the off season to get a cheaper flight and hotel.
Click to expand...


Hey Chip does the PI that has done work for others be interested in doing this search? His name escapes me at the moment.
 
C

Carmelita

New member
Mar 5, 2011
12
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0
Hello again,
i have checked the papers again and it was said that my biological mother had checked in the Hospital San Lorenzo with a false name and would have left me there after i was born only saying that my name is Carmen. But in all legal papers even that false name never appeared.Isn?t that strange??
Best Carmen
P.S. I have the name of a women who aviously handeled my case
 
bachata

bachata

Aprendiz de todo profesional de nada
Aug 18, 2007
5,362
1,257
113
Carmelita said:
Hello to all forum members.
My name is Carmen i live in Germany and i was adopted 27 years ago from a german family. I would like to find my real mother who aviously abandoned me leaving me in some childrenshelter in Santo Domingo.The realtionship with my step parents is not very good and they don?t want to tell me anything whatsoever.I have the adoptionpapers and all documents from the german side.I would really appreciate if any of you who read this could help me or give me an idea how to start with . I have two adresses of women who my parents gave to me. They said if you ever want to go to the Dom.rep. you can see them. I contacted them a few years ago but they did not tell me a single word about my mother as they are probably paied and on the side of my stepparents.o that is a dead end. Again i plead to everybody of you if you have any idea or could help me in any way i would be so grateful!!!
Best
Carmen
Click to expand...
Carmen contact Jose Gutierrez. I've seen him helping with many family reunion over the years using his radio and TV shows.

JoseGutierrezProducciones.com

JJ
 
A

Anastacio

Banned
Feb 22, 2010
2,965
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You need to find out what the law is within the DR first. Most countries have law in place stating it is illegal to trace directly without a government official first investigating, often one does not want contact and this is a right after adoption. You can go so far but if your mother does not want contact, you must be prepared fir that rejection. I say this yet with the Republic being as it is I think your first point of call is to find out exactly what adoption law entitles both involved to, if anything.
UK law for example entitled the child to search for info on the biological parents, but not vice versa. Since recently that law has been changed to a certain degree and now both sides needs to give authorisation, so either parent or child does not give consent you are not going to receive and info.
Good luck with your quest, but be prepared for a long ride, so don't expet any results overnight, or even over the next couple of years.
 
S

siegs

Member
May 9, 2006
241
18
18
Carmen
If and when you find your birth-mother please go slow.
Expect the unexpected and try to go with the flow.
I went through the process about ten years ago.
Truly a life changing event.
I wish you luck and peace.
And don't give up!
Sieg
 
L

Lando calrisian

Bronze
Mar 1, 2009
941
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You'll just have to be patient. You have a sense of urgency and you want answers now. DR is special, things don't work the way they do in Deutchland or USA. Getting my cedula and papers was an odyssey at first then finally I got in contact with the right people and poof everything was taken care of. It might take you some time and a definitely a visit to DR to get things done. Vee Gets.
 
T

tballerina

New member
Aug 20, 2009
40
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0
I wish you well in your search. i however have a difficult time with the "real mom" phrase. What is a "rea"l mom? The one who stays up all night with you when you're sick, the one who kisses your scraped knees, the one who helps you with your homework, the one who sticks up for you no-matter-what, the one who says up looking out the window worrying when you're not home on time, the one who smiles up at you with pride when you are in the school play, even when your part is that of a tree, the one who scolds you when you make wrong choices... I could go on and on. coming down a birth canal does not necessarily makes that person your "real"mother. Just a thought, wishing you well.
 
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