911: Another one bites the dust.... sankie or not?

brittmurphy1 · Mar 28, 2011

Ok so I'm well aware of the hidden agendas of the men in DR, I have traveled there on numerous occasions and made plenty of friends (none of whom I've spent a red penny on or slept with) needless to say I've got a good head on my shoulders and the countless number of times I've had men use their supposed smooth talking lines on me I've laughed it off and told them to not bother that it's a waste of time. It's humorous to see the same junk being spewed from every single one of them, I've heard them use these lines on women of all shapes, sizes, races and other physical and intellectual backgrounds.

Here comes the sticky situation:

I've known one man in specific for quite awhile; I met him on a resort 4-5 years ago on my first trip. There were no sexual innuendos which was really refreshing since I was being swarmed the whole time, my family and I make regular trips back and last year on our trip I let my inhibitions go and ended up sleeping with him. Needless to say I screwed my head back on quickly and was on my way home not giving it another thought....

My fam went back but I could not due to work related purposes and they spent quite a bit of time with him... He sweet talked my mother into believing that he has feelings for me and she's fallen for it. She absolutely adores him, I provided her with evidence that he has a longtime GF in the DR and she called him out on it, needless to say he ended the relationship and has continued pursuing me. This guy has never asked for money from myself or my family, and the time spent with him was always on his dime. We haven't slept together since & Ive met friends of his who have successful marriages and are happy (men & women, locals & tourists & they reside all over the world) certain people have accounted for the fact that he is not like other DR men and does not have a hidden agenda, the family has money, he's educated and works f/t for numerous years...

I am not the type of person to make things easy for men as I believe in chivalry and courtship so my guard has been up and I have not given him an easy time, for heavens sake he doesn't even know how strong the feelings I have for him are. We're going on another family vacation soon and he wants to pick me up at the airport when I arrive.

What I'm in need of right now is a reality check:
would he really waste this much time courting somebody if he had a hidden agenda??? It seems like a waste...
Could he not obtain his objectives a lot easier with somebody else???
So why all the effort? Especially with my family???
Maybe he really is a stand up guy?
Or is this another game???

Bronxboy · Mar 28, 2011

brittmurphy1 said:
Maybe he really is a stand up guy?
Or is this another game???

What do you like to hear?

brittmurphy1 · Mar 28, 2011

It's not a make or break answer, just curiosity....

Bronxboy · Mar 28, 2011

brittmurphy1 said:
It's not a make or break answer, just curiosity....

So, have you made up your mind yet?

I would have to say that you are being played big time. What is the best way to get to you? Your parents!!!!!!

What does your pop say?

I would figure one's parents would want the best for there kids.

I do not think your mom is looking out for your best interest. His game is good or your mom is one gullible person and I mean no disrespect saying this ok?

Africaida · Mar 28, 2011

I would be worry about the longtime girlfriend and find out if he really did broke up with her.
If he has nothing to gain from you, he has no reason to be a sanky I would think.

bri777 · Mar 28, 2011

since no one else here knows this young man , it is hard to say!

obviously you like him a lot ,so how else to find out but to try.
maybe you win the jackpot
good luck
Manu

bri777 · Mar 28, 2011

another way of trying to find out!
make some" sanky radar having "british lady friends ,they will dissect him for you!
Manu

brittmurphy1 · Mar 28, 2011

bri777 said:
another way of trying to find out!
make some" sanky radar having "british lady friends ,they will dissect him for you!
Manu

ahahahaha
That's great

brittmurphy1 · Mar 28, 2011

Bronxboy said:
So, have you made up your mind yet?

I would have to say that you are being played big time. What is the best way to get to you? Your parents!!!!!!

What does your pop say?

I would figure one's parents would want the best for there kids.

I do not think your mom is looking out for your best interest. His game is good or your mom is one gullible person and I mean no disrespect saying this ok?

Trust is not given, it is earned.
It's more disturbing to think that he could be playing my mother than myself...
My father likes him but he's is reserved like myself, we've seen plenty of women get played. He thinks "only time will tell" & he knows It's not in my nature to jump into something serious so he isn't worried about me getting hurt.

Bronxboy · Mar 28, 2011

brittmurphy1 said:
Trust is not given, it is earned.
It's more disturbing to think that he could be playing my mother than myself...
My father likes him but he's is reserved like myself, we've seen plenty of women get played. He thinks "only time will tell" & he knows It's not in my nature to jump into something serious so he isn't worried about me getting hurt.

Anything wrong with the catch in your hometown?

To quote you, "just curious".

brittmurphy1 · Mar 28, 2011

Bronxboy said:
Anything wrong with the catch in your hometown?

To quote you, "just curious".

hahaha
Fair enough, good question!
:cheeky:

There are plenty of great men here who I've date on the regular. A lot of the time they tend to throw around money and use possessions as a status symbol. You know it's like attempting to buy a womans intrigue.
That's a whole other can of worms we shouldn't open up.

arg1118 · Mar 28, 2011

Have him checked out

Wel if he works has money his family has money and his friends have normal married lives he doesn't sound like a Sanky especially if he is paying for everything. Being super courteous to ur family is a Dominican trait. If u want to be as sure as anyone can be set some private eyes on him or something. Is not the best thing and I am Dominican and a man, but whatever if it answers your questions. That way you can either chane direction or go fwd.
Best of luck!

Criss Colon · Mar 28, 2011

His Family Has" Money"?????

Everybody has "Money"!
In the USA,"Money",means a LOT of money!
How much money,do they own their own home,have you been there.Where does he live. Was he on the hotel's "Animation" Team when you met???
What is his "F/T job????
Does he have a DR passport? Any visas? Where has he traveled abroad?
Would you date a guy of his economic/social status in Canada?
Have a car???

Go read the DR1 Archives,stories like yours never seem to have a "Happy Ending!:surprised
Cris Colon

greydread · Mar 28, 2011

brittmurphy1 said:
hahaha
Fair enough, good question!
:cheeky:

There are plenty of great men here who I've date on the regular. A lot of the time they tend to throw around money and use possessions as a status symbol. You know it's like attempting to buy a womans intrigue.
That's a whole other can of worms we shouldn't open up.

....I'm really confused now.

The guys in your home country are conditioned to "throw money around and use possessions as a status symbol". It's not their fault. A dull peacock never gets laid in peacockland.

IMO, anyone who would try to get to you through your parents (in your absence) isn't mature enough to have a relationship with in the 1st place. If being more than friends in spite of your feelings on the issue is what's on his mind or getting the Pum-Pum one time spun his head completely around then he is showing all the signs of devious behavior which would indicate that he's groping for some level of control over your choices and your life.

If you don't believe me, go out on a lunch date with a few different (local) guys when you return. There will be murders. You are a tenderloin and he is a hungry tiger. This is NOT a symbiotic relationship.

Bronxboy · Mar 28, 2011

brittmurphy1 said:
There are plenty of great men here who I've date on the regular. A lot of the time they tend to throw around money and use possessions as a status symbol. You know it's like attempting to buy a womans intrigue.

It is so funny how a woman will think a man is trying to buy her in the person's "hometown" but then give it up at a drop of a dime to someone they don't really know and all it took was a cold Presidente. (I am not talking about the OP but in general).

Berzin · Mar 28, 2011

brittmurphy1 said:
What I'm in need of right now is a reality check:
would he really waste this much time courting somebody if he had a hidden agenda??? It seems like a waste...

Dominican logic vs. Western Logic. Since you apparently can't figure it out or are hell-bent on seeking answers to the wrong questions, you lose.

It's not a waste if he's doing the same to other women besides yourself, which you can bet he is.

You can play the lottery every day and it would seem like a waste, but all you have to do is hit it once for the seemingly futile effort to bear fruit.

brittmurphy1 said:
Could he not obtain his objectives a lot easier with somebody else???

It's not as easy as you think. The objective is to have a quantity of women and then see which pin falls first.

brittmurphy1 said:
So why all the effort? Especially with my family???

The deception is the key. The family is used as a prop to simulate sincerity. As for "effort", what are you talking about? All he is doing is giving you "muela" (sweet talk). You call that effort?

brittmurphy1 said:
Maybe he really is a stand up guy? Or is this another game???

If you need to ask, you already know the answer. You are just looking for validation of the same type of long-distance pipe dream romance we've been reading about for years.

shawn27 · Mar 28, 2011

Bronxboy said:
Anything wrong with the catch in your hometown?

To quote you, "just curious".

I think it's such a psychological thing with people in your hometown. Me for example. I'm in miami where there are tons of beautiful women. however I have my "routine" which consists of working Monday -Friday. Friday's nights I'm too tired to go out, I go out sometimes on Sat and Sundays are mostly dinner's with friends etc.

Point is when one is vacation there is more time to meet someone. Plus my mindset is very different when I'm in DR. I meet more women there (non putas) in a week then I do in 4 months in miami. I sit at Paco's on el conde and motion for girls I like to come talk to me. All of them do. It doesn't have to lead to sex all the time but I can almost always get a date for drinks, dinner etc. So that argument about the "catch in your hometown" isn't as easy as it looks....

Africaida · Mar 28, 2011

Criss Colon said:
Everybody has "Money"!
In the USA,"Money",means a LOT of money!
How much money,do they own their own home,have you been there.Where does he live. Was he on the hotel's "Animation" Team when you met???
What is his "F/T job????
Does he have a DR passport? Any visas? Where has he traveled abroad?
Would you date a guy of his economic/social status in Canada?
Have a car???

Go read the DR1 Archives,stories like yours never seem to have a "Happy Ending!:surprised
Cris Colon

Unless the OP answers these questions, sadly it is sanky until proven otherwise

Bronxboy · Mar 28, 2011

shawn27 said:
I think it's such a psychological thing with people in your hometown. Me for example. I'm in miami where there are tons of beautiful women. however I have my "routine" which consists of working Monday -Friday. Friday's nights I'm too tired to go out, I go out sometimes on Sat and Sundays are mostly dinner's with friends etc.

Point is when one is vacation there is more time to meet someone. Plus my mindset is very different when I'm in DR. I meet more women there (non putas) in a week then I do in 4 months in miami. I sit at Paco's on el conde and motion for girls I like to come talk to me. All of them do. It doesn't have to lead to sex all the time but I can almost always get a date for drinks, dinner etc. So that argument about the "catch in your hometown" isn't as easy as it looks....

I lived in Florida for two years and I could have gotten married dozens of times. Man, I met so many beautiful and available women with better cars than me. They had their own homes as well. Being the player I was (and maybe still am), I did not want to settle with any of them but could of. When I go to any country, it is for R&R. Of course, the sex is great if I want it BUT, I get enough at home. (NY)

So when I hear of people going to these countries to find their soulmates, I am actually in awe just because.

I do not have a problem getting females and I think the same should be for others as well.

Oh well, no game, no dame.

I guess, which there is nothing wrong with it, let the desperados seek there fun elsewhere besides their hometowns BUT for goodness sakes, leave them there.
The problem is they want to take them home and that is just a dream!!!!

Some do work, but many don't.

Africaida · Mar 28, 2011

shawn27 said:
I sit at Paco's on el conde and motion for girls I like to come talk to me. All of them do. It doesn't have to lead to sex all the time but I can almost always get a date for drinks, dinner etc. So that argument about the "catch in your hometown" isn't as easy as it looks....

Well, it goes both ways. I am sure you are more reluctant to treat women in your hometown for dinner and drinks too (especially the ones that came running after you motion for them to come and talk to you).

911: Another one bites the dust.... sankie or not?

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