Hi Sammy,
Try not to get too mad at all those who make fun of you and your post. This country and this site are packed with that kind of people, and there is only one thing you or I can do about it: ignore the heck out of them.
Now addressing the matter you bring to our attention, I have some experience with it that might be helpful to you. Please excuse my poor writing style as English is a foreign language to me.
I have lived in Bavaro for about five years now (in Costa B?varo, like you), and the last two and a half years I have been living together with my dominican girlfriend, who is currently 23 years-old.
When I met her she told me she had no ID. She did have a job, at a "sal?n" (beauty parlour), but of course she was not legally employed and had no Social Security.
Like the girl you mention, she had no idea how to really obtain her c?dula. She and her parents had already tried to start the process several times, to no avail.
Naturally, I did not believe her fully at first. It didn't seem true to me that an intelligent, hard-working adult could not obtain her ID card easily in her own country. Oh how wrong I was.
Now for the last two and a half years we have been doing this thing together, and I can tell you that obtaining that c?dula is anything but fast, easy or cheap.
We started the process with two different lawyers who had been recommended to us, one in Santo Domingo and one in Barahona. And at the same time, in parallel, we started doing it on our own at the Registro Civil in Barahona province.
The two lawyers are still calling us every now and then to ask for money, but by now it is clear to us that they are not really working on the matter, so we are not sending them money anymore. When we get the c?dula I will make sure to call them and insult them at ease.
The process we started in Barahona without a lawyer didn't take us anywhere either, as some eight months after we deposited the first documents we were told by the official that our file was lost and we had to start again. Which we didn’t.
During these years, we have approached dozens of other people in search of a solution to our problem, and every time we have been taken by fools by these so called "professionals", who have only wanted to scam us.
Thank God one of the people we approached was the "Juez Civil" of the little town where my girlfriend was born. This person (maybe due to the fact it’s a small town?) is one of the very few (relatively) honest, professional people I have ever encountered in this country. Admittedly, he should be doing this for free (as he gets paid by the Dominican Government to do just that), but he asked that we "help" him with 12.000 dop, half at the beginning and half after we have the birth certificate. We accepted. He said that the matter would be solved in some three months.
We are in our seventh month now with him, but at last a few weeks ago we obtained a Sentence from a Court in the city of Barahona, mandating that my girlfriend's birth be registered. We deposited the said sentence at the Junta Electoral Central in Santo Domingo, and they gave us a voucher saying we should come back to get her birth certificate next 22 of June. With that birth certificate she will be able to apply for her c?dula and her passport, and then I will start applying for her Spanish Visa so we can finally leave this place behind.
That was (part of) my personal story regarding Dominican birth certificates.
Now regarding your QUESTIONS:
1. Is it that big of a deal?
Yes
2. That hard to obtain?
Yes
3. Does she need a lawyer?
Yes, but one who is REALLY and honestly going to work for you. I cannot recommend you any lawyers.
4. Should I lol or not?
She might be lying to you, but what she is saying is not outlandish. In fact it is VERY common. This article claims this problem affects 25% of the population:
25% de dominicanos sin cdula de identidad
5. What can I tell her to do that would point her in the right direction?
You can tell her she will need lots of money, tons of patience, bunches of insistence, plenty of time, and more than a pinch of good luck.
Sammy, if you need any further help, do not hesitate to pm me.
As for the usual, ignorant, bad-intentioned trolls, you can try as hard as you like, I will not pay the least attention to your bad writing. And it’s a pity for you, because you’d love to pick on this story: my girlfriend is black, poor, of Haitian ascendance, and she is also beautiful, intelligent and loving. I am white, affluent, young enough and reasonable attractive, and I am taking her home to Spain with me. Ok, you can start feeling jealous now.
Finally, to the rest of dr1.com readers, I salute you and I wish you a good day.