A chinese joke

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paddy

Silver
Oct 4, 2003
3,682
150
0
A single Chinese man owns a Chinese restaurant, and one day a beautiful Chinese woman walks in. He immediately walks over and asks her out on a date. She agrees. They go out for a while, and soon, the man proposes to her. She says "Yes, but before we do, there's something you must know. I have never had the sex, but I've read about it." He says that it's not a problem, and they are married.

On their honeymoon, the man tells his wife that since she's a virgin, she can choose what they do first. She says "Oh, most honorable husband. I am honored to be your wife, even though I have never had the sex, but I've read about it. So, I have chosen to have the 69.

The husband looks confused, and after thinking about it, he says "You want.. the beef and broccoli?"
 
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DOMINCAN JOE

Bronze
Aug 15, 2006
1,992
38
0
Chinese Torture

A young man is wandering and lost in a forest when he comes upon a small house. Knocking on the door, he is greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long gray beard. "I'm lost," said the young man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man." "OK," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old, and entered the house.

During dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic body. She was obviously attracted to the young man as she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. During the night, he could bear it no longer and snuck into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet, so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn, he crept back to his room, exhausted but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes, he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought."If that's the best the old man can do, then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window, and threw the boulder out.

As he did so, he noticed another note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder.

As he plummeted towards the ground, he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bed post."
 
bronzeallspice

bronzeallspice

Live everyday like it's your last
Mar 26, 2012
11,009
2
38
Hung Chow calls into work and say,"Hey,boss I not come work today,I really sick.
I got headache,stomach ache and my legs hurt.I not come work."

The boss says,"You know Hung Chow,I really need you today.When I feel like this
I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex.That makes everything better and I can
go to work.You should try that."

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again."Boss,I do what you say and I feel great.I be
at work soon.You got nice house!"
 
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