Soy un gringo de Maryland

Hazelnut1968 · Apr 22, 2014

I registered from Facebook, so I guess y'all already know my name.

Brief Bio

I am 45. A few years ago, I retired from the Air National Guard, where I ran a Radio Maintenance shop. During the week, I worked for Verizon as a Network Operations Supervisor until I went to Comcast as an Engineering Supervisor and subsequently went through a "reorganization."

Neither my former Manager nor I are employed there any longer and my career has been reduced to selling Comcast (of all things) door-to-door as a Contractor.

Anyhoo, I had made plans to visit the DR during the final days of employment at Comcast but when told I was to be let go, I cancelled them. Once I resume my career and get back on my feet, I still plan to go.

I am going through my second divorce and have the most wonderful set of 6 year old (boy and girl) twins on the planet. Yo hablo un chin de espanol; just enough to get through customs, have deep and meaningful conversations about luggage and to order food, but it is improving all the time.

I have an Associates in Applied Science from the Community College of the Air Force and am 2 courses shy of a Bachelors in Business Management from Strayer; this is on hold pending a new professional gig.

I have applied to a few jobs in the DR; but mostly as a lark. I am trying to stay in the Telecom field around the DC area. But if I can find a decent enough gig, I may be open minded about it. Not many telecom positions available in the DR though. With my (almost) business degree, I can probably do some other stuff; but not willing to go too far out on a limb. I do understand there is a LinkedIn group for expatriates however; if someone could PM me with a link, I'd be obliged.

I am intelligent and witty. I think I'm hilarious actually; and I try not to take myself too seriously. I look forward to some discussions with you guys; I have been lurking for a bit and decided to register so I can participate.

CarpeDReam · Apr 22, 2014

Welcome Pat! Question: have you ever visited the DR? From your post it looks like you have not--if that's the case, any particular reason why you've chosen the DR to live/work?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hazelnut1968 · Apr 23, 2014

CarpeDReam said:
Welcome Pat! Question: have you ever visited the DR? From your post it looks like you have not--if that's the case, any particular reason why you've chosen the DR to live/work?

Hello CarpeDReam,

I hate winter. LOL

I love the Caribbean, and would island hop frequently when I had the means. I have never been to the DR, but like most dudes here, I have been struck by the beauty of Dominicanas and have been talking to one for the past year and a half. I was about to visit her when the loss of my career caused me to cancel my plans (I told her that it would be extremely irresponsible to visit prior to finding another position). Since then, I have been broke. I have no money to send her, but she still seems interested. I tell her that I have absolutely no idea when I might be able to visit and she says "she'll wait for me."

Yeah. I know. But it brings forth a few interesting points...

As I mentioned; I am in the midst of my second divorce. Both of my wives were Americans. I like to joke and say "The first one was white; the second was black and the third will be mute." However, I've been jaded and as far as I am concerned I can tell a woman is lying because her mouth is moving. I certainly don't trust American women, and after having lurked on this (and many other sites) for the past several months; I don't fully trust her either. So, while I am willing to fly down and meet her (eventually), I have already decided that I will not forewarn her of my impending arrival. She will get a Whataspp notification after I have settled into my hotel and am in a taxi on the way to her house.

With all that being said, she comes across as extremely sweet and patient. My spanish is much better than her english. My only real concern with her is that she seems to have a limited intelligence; however given the crap I've experienced in my life, that is not an automatic show stopper. I need a change.

If, upon arrival and a no-notice inspection, reality does not align with the picture she has painted then adios. I would rather not contribute to one of the many trainwrecks already enshrined in these fora. Unfortunately to me, every woman on the planet has potential to be a Sankie until proven otherwise. Maybe I'm bitter, but I'm tired of all the hullaballoo. So I'm already on "red alert" and my shields are definitely up. As far as I know, I can't prove she isn't banging half the population of San Cristobol and I maintain a safe (for me) emotional distance while being friendly and saying "no" everytime she asks for money. It's really not like I can give her some anyway. My kids and I come first.

Secondly; whether it works out with her or not, I think the experience would be delightful; at least for a visit. At this time, I have absolutely no expressed intention of moving down there permanently; but if I can find an interesting enough gig in telecom or something else within my skillset, I'll consider it. I absolutely hate my current job, and want to kickstart my career. The DR has the most advanced telecom infrastructure in the Caribbean for better or worse. Yes the electricity is problematic, but other places have the same problem. Besides, I've heard the rum is fantastic!

So, my ideal choice is to resume my career in the DC area. The realistic probability of what is to me an acceptable career dyanamic in the DR is less than 5%. But daydreams are fun, too...

LTSteve · Apr 23, 2014

Dude, she is smart enough to have kept you on the line for a year and a half. You've got island fever. Sadly, you have never been to the DR, don't know much about it's culture and women. She is playing you. If you havn't sent her any money just walk away and stop communicating. She is looking for one thing. Your wallet. As far as job prospects, don't count on any. It is difficult for a Gringo, with no real language skills to get a job here. You either have to have your own business or work for a very small salary.

LTSteve

drescape24 · Apr 23, 2014

Hi Pat, welcome to DR1. You have a lot one your plate right now. Worrying about a Dominican lady is the first thing that needs to be tabled. I am not trying to be mean, funny or anything negative. Second, don't move to the D.R.. Its very difficult to make a living unless you have a lot of personal connections.
I am aslo a telco guy ( U.S. Army signal corps, Verizon line gang) and those fields are hard to get into here and the pay is very small. Your better off trying to get a telco job in the D.C. area than in The D.R..In short stay single in the D.R. and make your money in America and use the D.R. as a vacation spot. On vacation use the time to get to know the country and lay some solid ground work so when the time is right you can relocate and it will have a better chance of success. You already have a leg up with the Air Guard retirement. ( I wish I went air Guard after I got out) . But I hope you leaving Verizon to go to comcast wasn't your decision.
Are you in the North East? South Jersey here. Good luck to you.
drescape24

ROLLOUT · Apr 23, 2014

Ditto, to what Dreamscape said. If you're flexible about where you want to live, PM me. The agency I work for is hiring.
Roll

Hazelnut1968 · Apr 23, 2014

First of all, I successfully had my screen name changed. My name is Pat.

LTSteve said:
Dude, she is smart enough to have kept you on the line for a year and a half. You've got island fever. Sadly, you have never been to the DR, don't know much about it's culture and women. She is playing you. If you havn't sent her any money just walk away and stop communicating. She is looking for one thing. Your wallet. As far as job prospects, don't count on any. It is difficult for a Gringo, with no real language skills to get a job here. You either have to have your own business or work for a very small salary.

LTSteve

Howdy LT.

True; I haven't ever been to the DR. And I won't dispute you about having "Island Fever." But I research like a Mofo. It's one reason I've been lurking for 18 months on this site and others, and sucking info and experiences up like a sponge.

drescape24 said:
I am aslo a telco guy ( U.S. Army signal corps, Verizon line gang) and those fields are hard to get into here and the pay is very small. Your better off trying to get a telco job in the D.C. area than in The D.R.

You already have a leg up with the Air Guard retirement. ( I wish I went air Guard after I got out) . But I hope you leaving Verizon to go to comcast wasn't your decision.
Are you in the North East? South Jersey here. Good luck to you.
drescape24

Hey Drescape

My preference is a telecom job in the DC Area, since this is where I live. All I'm saying is "I'm open to anything." Except relocation to Jersey (LOL). Trying to make a left in Jersey seems to be nearly as complicated as making a left in the DR.

Retirement from the Guard and Reserve is different from an Active Duty retirement. Sure, I can use the BX, the Commissary and MWR Facilities. I can take hops. I can also be recalled to Active Duty (since I'm in the Retired Reserve). However, the BIG DIFFERENCE is that we don't receive our Retired Pay until we turn 60. So although I retired when I was 38 (I joined when I was 17), and I'm now 45; I still have 14 years and some change until I see a penny.

The same manager who hired me at Verizon ended up retiring and going to Comcast. He offered me a slot there and since it was over an hour closer to my house, I accepted. I had to wait until another management RIF was offered and then volunteered (I didn't want to repay my tuition as I would have had to if I left any other way). This had the nice side effect of allowing me to "double dip," as I remained on Verizon's payroll for the next several months.

-----------------------

I am taking everything with a grain of salt. Many of the people on here try to dissuade people from having anything to do with the DR. The average dude speaks of wanting to go (for whatever reason) and is immediately counseled to run in the opposite direction. To Alaska. Or to the Moon or Mars, or even Alpha Centauri; for the experiences there will be less painful and costly and infinitely more rewarding. I wasn't born yesterday and fully expect this lady to be the typical example of self promotion and brilliant marketing. Since she is a female I am automatically suspicious, since I've been played like a cheap piano by so many American chicks (and 1 Mexicana) that I should be a Steinway by now. In my mind, I would not at all be surprised to learn that Mother Teresa did some serious banging on the side.

However, it is not beyond the realm of probability that she actually might be worthwhile and therefore I will go down and make her acquaintance when I have the means to do so, because I am an unrepentant stubborn SOB and have already made up my mind. She will not know I'm there until I am making the 20-30 minute trip to her house. This is so I can evaluate her "natural habitat." I didn't just fall off the turnip truck. If it works out, great. If I see she's the stereotypical chica, I can always return to my hotel and enjoy other diversions.

One thing about life, it exposes people to a ton of scammers. There are scammers who attempt to prey on folks looking for love and there are scammers who attempt to prey on folks looking for company (or a relationship, or love or "whatever"). I can usually spot them a mile away. I have been approached by a gazillion other Dominicanas who start the conversation off by saying "Papi Te Amo," and other bravo sierra and they were automatically blocked and deleted.

As far as this one, I will "trust" (insofar as I am capable of trusting any female), but "verify." I absolutely want this to work out in a positive manner, but I am fully prepared (and even expect) for it not to. Airfare is cheap, it's not like I'm trying to import a Russian Bride or anything. Just a quick trip when I get back on my feet.

Hazelnut1968 · Apr 23, 2014

ROLLOUT said:
Ditto, to what Dreamscape said. If you're flexible about where you want to live, PM me. The agency I work for is hiring.
Roll

Thank you Rollout. I just might do that. Is your agency also hiring in the US? Despite my "Island Fever," Gringoland remains my first choice.

La Rubia · Apr 23, 2014

Welcome to DR1!

Love your easy going style, I think you should definitely visit the DR. Isn't there a saying about regretting the things you don't do?

I usually don't say this, but I would just go to a car wash for the first couple of trips. Resistance is futile when it comes to members of the opposite sex in the DR, so I'd rather you go pro than dash the hopes of someone that's invested her time in you.

And because you have children, you may have to be extra cautious about the one you bring back. For now, just get them souvenirs!

Harleysrock · Apr 23, 2014

Hazel, you have never met her but she asks you for money??!! (DOES THIS NOT PUT UP A RED FLAG)

Don't waste your first visit by being disappointed when you "surprise" her.

There are tons of women here that will love you even better than her right when you get off the plane!

DOC1727 · Apr 23, 2014

The worst thing that a person can do is come to the DR for the only reason is to meet a women! Especially when that persons has never set foot in the DR.

texan · Apr 23, 2014

If you are 45 and get a retirement that gives you 15 years to check out DR and for your kids to grow up in the US. If you decide you like it then hopefully you can find a job with enough vacation. Then if you decide you want to move here later in life hopefully you can get save up a nest egg to supplement the pension.

It has been mentioned before but it easy to come down here and have a lot of fun. It is harder to met a serious lady if that is what you are looking for.

I understand to surprise here but she might want enough time to go to the salon. That is a pretty big deal here. You want be able to deal everything when you first meet here. But there would be some clues such as expensive items as iPhone, shoes, tablets, jewelry, furniture , laptop, etc.

LTSteve · Apr 24, 2014

Hazelnut1968 said:
First of all, I successfully had my screen name changed. My name is Pat.

Howdy LT.

True; I haven't ever been to the DR. And I won't dispute you about having "Island Fever." But I research like a Mofo. It's one reason I've been lurking for 18 months on this site and others, and sucking info and experiences up like a sponge.

Hey Drescape

My preference is a telecom job in the DC Area, since this is where I live. All I'm saying is "I'm open to anything." Except relocation to Jersey (LOL). Trying to make a left in Jersey seems to be nearly as complicated as making a left in the DR.

Retirement from the Guard and Reserve is different from an Active Duty retirement. Sure, I can use the BX, the Commissary and MWR Facilities. I can take hops. I can also be recalled to Active Duty (since I'm in the Retired Reserve). However, the BIG DIFFERENCE is that we don't receive our Retired Pay until we turn 60. So although I retired when I was 38 (I joined when I was 17), and I'm now 45; I still have 14 years and some change until I see a penny.

The same manager who hired me at Verizon ended up retiring and going to Comcast. He offered me a slot there and since it was over an hour closer to my house, I accepted. I had to wait until another management RIF was offered and then volunteered (I didn't want to repay my tuition as I would have had to if I left any other way). This had the nice side effect of allowing me to "double dip," as I remained on Verizon's payroll for the next several months.

-----------------------

I am taking everything with a grain of salt. Many of the people on here try to dissuade people from having anything to do with the DR. The average dude speaks of wanting to go (for whatever reason) and is immediately counseled to run in the opposite direction. To Alaska. Or to the Moon or Mars, or even Alpha Centauri; for the experiences there will be less painful and costly and infinitely more rewarding. I wasn't born yesterday and fully expect this lady to be the typical example of self promotion and brilliant marketing. Since she is a female I am automatically suspicious, since I've been played like a cheap piano by so many American chicks (and 1 Mexicana) that I should be a Steinway by now. In my mind, I would not at all be surprised to learn that Mother Teresa did some serious banging on the side.

However, it is not beyond the realm of probability that she actually might be worthwhile and therefore I will go down and make her acquaintance when I have the means to do so, because I am an unrepentant stubborn SOB and have already made up my mind. She will not know I'm there until I am making the 20-30 minute trip to her house. This is so I can evaluate her "natural habitat." I didn't just fall off the turnip truck. If it works out, great. If I see she's the stereotypical chica, I can always return to my hotel and enjoy other diversions.

One thing about life, it exposes people to a ton of scammers. There are scammers who attempt to prey on folks looking for love and there are scammers who attempt to prey on folks looking for company (or a relationship, or love or "whatever"). I can usually spot them a mile away. I have been approached by a gazillion other Dominicanas who start the conversation off by saying "Papi Te Amo," and other bravo sierra and they were automatically blocked and deleted.

As far as this one, I will "trust" (insofar as I am capable of trusting any female), but "verify." I absolutely want this to work out in a positive manner, but I am fully prepared (and even expect) for it not to. Airfare is cheap, it's not like I'm trying to import a Russian Bride or anything. Just a quick trip when I get back on my feet.

Pat:

Doing "research" is not having your feet on the ground in the DR. Listening to other peoples sound advice and horror stories should be a warning to you that this girl is not worth the time. She is probably also corresponding with 3 other guys. If you go to the DR to surprise her it will be your surprise when you find her at the bars trying to "pick up" guys for a living. I don't quite think you have an understanding of the culture and economics in the DR. If your mind is set in stone than by all means go and meet this girl. She will be very nice to you while you are there. She will allow you to wine and dine her and yes have sex with her and will also ask you for money. Just be prepared for the full court press for your wallet. The DR is a great place to go for a single guy or someone on the rebound. Just go with your head not stuck in another spot so you can experience the real deal for yourself. Good luck.

LTSteve

Aguaita29 · Apr 24, 2014

You talk like you guys were dating and as if she wasn?t allowed to see other people. You guys have never even met! So you?re not seeing or talking to anyone else?

Hazelnut1968 · Apr 24, 2014

LTSteve said:
Pat:

Doing "research" is not having your feet on the ground in the DR. Listening to other peoples sound advice and horror stories should be a warning to you that this girl is not worth the time. She is probably also corresponding with 3 other guys. If you go to the DR to surprise her it will be your surprise when you find her at the bars trying to "pick up" guys for a living. I don't quite think you have an understanding of the culture and economics in the DR. If your mind is set in stone than by all means go and meet this girl. She will be very nice to you while you are there. She will allow you to wine and dine her and yes have sex with her and will also ask you for money. Just be prepared for the full court press for your wallet. The DR is a great place to go for a single guy or someone on the rebound. Just go with your head not stuck in another spot so you can experience the real deal for yourself. Good luck.

LTSteve

LT,

It is inherently obvious across the entire planet that "research" is not the same as boots on the ground. I have been deployed to a ton of places however and "Intel" usually comes in real handy.

I have already indicated that I would not be surprised if she was banging half of San Cristobol.

I do have a basic understanding of the culture and economics as well as law and history. More than the typical gringo who has yet to visit; less than people who live there.

I have said that I am wishing for the best but prepared for the worst. I have also said that because she is female, I have trust issues anyway. I do not want this to turn into gratuitous woman bashing (which it very well can be if I go on a roll).

This is getting tedious and repetitive. I appreciate that you are trying to help, but you are not reading everything I am saying. I have never had a lot of patience when having to "repeat" myself on a message board in the same thread.

Maybe I'll be less grumpy after coffee.

Hazelnut1968 · Apr 24, 2014

Aguaita29 said:
You talk like you guys were dating and as if she wasn?t allowed to see other people. You guys have never even met! So you?re not seeing or talking to anyone else?

I am not talking to anyone else. I do not have the time nor the energy.

However she is free to do whatsoever she desires. Including ditching me for someone else who actually has not lost their career and who can send money over; and I have told her all this. Repeatedly. It has been my experience that all chicks; no matter where they are from, are quite mercenary. So I have no illusions; she will probably find another dude before I get back on my feet anyway, rendering a lot of this moot.

Hazelnut1968 · Apr 24, 2014

texan said:
If you are 45 and get a retirement that gives you 15 years to check out DR and for your kids to grow up in the US. If you decide you like it then hopefully you can find a job with enough vacation. Then if you decide you want to move here later in life hopefully you can get save up a nest egg to supplement the pension.

It has been mentioned before but it easy to come down here and have a lot of fun. It is harder to met a serious lady if that is what you are looking for.

I understand to surprise here but she might want enough time to go to the salon. That is a pretty big deal here. You want be able to deal everything when you first meet here. But there would be some clues such as expensive items as iPhone, shoes, tablets, jewelry, furniture , laptop, etc.

That was actually the original plan. However, I have been without (what I consider to be) a job (at least a position within my career) for about 18 months now. I am tired of selling Triple Plays door-to-door. I actually considered joining the Australian Army because they are taking Prior Service Allied folks. Not doing it because I don't have the means to fly to London (?!) and perform the testing. If I was considering Australia, then the DR is a lot closer to my kids.

Right now, I would move to anywhere which allows me to resume my career. Except Antarctica. Or Cleveland.

To be honest though, the more I talk to you guys, the more I just want to throw in the towel and say f@ckit.

Hazelnut1968 · Apr 24, 2014

Harleysrock said:
Hazel, you have never met her but she asks you for money??!! (DOES THIS NOT PUT UP A RED FLAG)

Don't waste your first visit by being disappointed when you "surprise" her.

There are tons of women here that will love you even better than her right when you get off the plane!

Yes it does send up a red flag.

I don't know if you've noticed but I am kinda verbose; not the most concise person in the world. Just because I do not specifically say there is a red flag does not mean it's not there; I have (or had) something else on my mind that I thought was more important to talk about at the moment.

I do find the fact that I'm broke and she asks for money every few weeks and I have to say no mildly amusing; as I fully expect her to go tell me to eff myself shortly and wonder why it hasn't happened yet.

Hazelnut1968 · Apr 24, 2014

I don't need to "go Pro."

To be honest, I've always been something of an introvert. I don't need to get my rocks off (though I enjoy it immensely). I am looking for a relationship; not a receptacle. Between my first divorce and my second marriage, I had 9 years of screwing everything that moved and got it out of my system.

ROLLOUT · Apr 24, 2014

Hazelnut1968 said:
Thank you Rollout. I just might do that. Is your agency also hiring in the US? Despite my "Island Fever," Gringoland remains my first choice.

They are hiring in the US, nationwide. The bids are located on USAJOBS. I'll pass the particulars when u PM me

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