AGREED!!!! This is absolutely true of my man and his family. I have never seen anything like it. They are wonderful, beautiful people. He is in his 30's and snuggles with his siblings and his mother! The first time I saw it, it shocked me, lol. You would never see Americans doing that. I think this is why I'm falling for him because I am a very, very loving person who has always felt like an outcast for it and being around them makes me so happy. I have always been disgusted with the way people are in this country. So much so that I decided very young not to bring children into this world because I didn't want to contribute to it. When I told one of them that I chose not to have kids, I might as well have said I made a pact with the devil, he was so shocked. I actually cringe when they ask me about my family. We love each other, but for some reason we just aren't that close. Most American families are like that.... only getting together or talking for special occasions or holidays. It is so sad. American families are just shameful... not all, but most. I hope that he and I will be together for the long haul. So far it has been pretty darn amazing.
- Thread starter Micherie
- Start date
Love in different cultures
AGREED!!!! This is absolutely true of my man and his family. I have never seen anything like it. They are wonderful, beautiful people. He is in his 30's and snuggles with his siblings and his mother! The first time I saw it, it shocked me, lol. You would never see Americans doing that. I think this is why I'm falling for him because I am a very, very loving person who has always felt like an outcast for it and being around them makes me so happy. I have always been disgusted with the way people are in this country. So much so that I decided very young not to bring children into this world because I didn't want to contribute to it. When I told one of them that I chose not to have kids, I might as well have said I made a pact with the devil, he was so shocked. I actually cringe when they ask me about my family. We love each other, but for some reason we just aren't that close. Most American families are like that.... only getting together or talking for special occasions or holidays. It is so sad. American families are just shameful... not all, but most. I hope that he and I will be together for the long haul. So far it has been pretty darn amazing.
Just a warning: you can't judge love between family members just by how (physically) close they are. Hugging each other and nieces and nephews and showing affection etc is a cultural thing but does not necessarily mean they love and care for each other more than 'our' often cold European and American family members do.
It's ridiculous to compare the ability to love in different cultures. The capacity to love exists in everyone. Some are more demonstrative than others. DR men and women are no better or worse than North American or European men and women. What many North Americans and Europeans are good at is obtaining a good education, a decent paying job, and then working hard to make a better life for themselves and their families by providing them with the financial means to live in a good home, have access to a good education, medical, and dental, etc. That's a great responsibility and carries a lot of stress with it. I'm not talking about the wealthy families. I'm talking about the average middle class North American family. That stress affects their marriage and, sometimes their ability to relate to their spouses in a loving manner or their ability to spend time with their extended families. In the DR, a lot of men and women don't carry that responsibility. The lack of education and poverty in the DR are proof of that. Other indicators are the large number of children born to unmarried mothers and the lack responsibility of the fathers of those children. A good education is still not considered a priority by many families and so is access to decent medical. They have a live for today and hope for tomorrow lifestyle which relieves them of a lot of responsibility. Most North Americans take a more pragmatic approach which carries responsibility but provides a better quality of live overall. The passion in Latino cultures is exactly that, cultural, and it is a double edged sword. It can be very loving or extremely violent. The violent crime rates in the DR and Mexico are proof of that. I'm a Canadian who likes the DR people and their culture, but I don't take it at face value. I'm fully aware of its pros and cons.
Moved these posts to their own thread.
The Successful Relationships thread is only to post about successful DR relationships that have past the test of time. I would say over 5 years!!!!!!
Let's keep this thread DR related please.
Could not move to OT as some have less than 501 posts.
The Successful Relationships thread is only to post about successful DR relationships that have past the test of time. I would say over 5 years!!!!!!
Let's keep this thread DR related please.
Could not move to OT as some have less than 501 posts.
If you saw me and my fam in Santo Domingo greeting each other you would think its a beautiful thing but they have all ripped each other off in business. Lie, cheat and steal is how they roll but they must be great because we hug and kiss 
My wife's American family are good people who keep reasonable distance and are honest. I trust them completely.
The other point I want to address is the idea of how the poor love their families. If they loved their families they wouldnt keep having kids and bringing them into squalor and life's that aren't worth living. Lower Middle class and up have as many kids as they can afford. The underclass is breeding like rabbits, if they loved their family so much why would they bring them into that horrible life ?
My wife's American family are good people who keep reasonable distance and are honest. I trust them completely. The other point I want to address is the idea of how the poor love their families. If they loved their families they wouldnt keep having kids and bringing them into squalor and life's that aren't worth living. Lower Middle class and up have as many kids as they can afford. The underclass is breeding like rabbits, if they loved their family so much why would they bring them into that horrible life ?
If you saw me and my fam in Santo Domingo greeting each other you would think its a beautiful thing but they have all ripped each other off in business. Lie, cheat and steal is how they roll but they must be great because we hug and kiss
The other point I want to address is the idea of how the poor love their families. If they loved their families they wouldnt keep having kids and bringing them into squalor and life's that aren't worth living. Lower Middle class and up have as many kids as they can afford. The underclass is breeding like rabbits, if they loved their family so much why would they bring them into that horrible life ?
That is a valid question that deserves a common sense discussion and from what I have seen the infant mortality rate in particular and the general mortality rate overall among the poor have a lot to do with the answer. There are no social safety nets for the poor outside of their families who will be expected to care for them in their declining years. The more offspring one can manage, the better the chances that one or more of them will develop the resources required to care for aging parents.
It may be what you consider a "horrible life" but for most, it's the only life they've got and it's every bit as precious to them as anyone else's. There are hardships caused by lack of economic resources and there are hardships where money is not an issue. The most recently reported suicide rate for the Dominican Republic is 2.3 per 100,000 ppl. The suicide rate for Denmark, recently polled the "Happiest Country in the World" is 11.3 per 100,000 ppl. Maybe the Danes should learn Bachata.
There are many contradictions and it's difficult to generalise, but I find it hard to accept common situations like mothers handing over their children to be raised by grandmothers for an indefinite period, even when the circumstances are not that extreme.
It's not fair on the grandmother or on the children.
Not to mention absent fathers.
It's not fair on the grandmother or on the children.
Not to mention absent fathers.
You can't make sweeping generalizations about families anywhere. I am American, and I was raised in a very close family, and we still are.
Yeah, but.... you're Jewish. That's almost the same as being Italian.
We're different. My 'beloved son' married an Irish girl. Lovely person, but "American".
When I married Mr. AE, it was a rather seamless relationship with his family for me, and mine for him. His family, while Dominican for generations, has very European ways. Me being 2nd generation American identified with that.
While my spouses family genuinely cares for one another they are not all that "snuggly" with each other. Maybe with the little ones but they are like most American families I know. Get together on holiday's, funerals, etc...Heck there is a good portion of them who live near each other but do not see each other daily, weekly, etc... Every family is different, Dominican, American, etc...
If you saw me and my fam in Santo Domingo greeting each other you would think its a beautiful thing but they have all ripped each other off in business. Lie, cheat and steal is how they roll but they must be great because we hug and kiss
The other point I want to address is the idea of how the poor love their families. If they loved their families they wouldnt keep having kids and bringing them into squalor and life's that aren't worth living. Lower Middle class and up have as many kids as they can afford. The underclass is breeding like rabbits, if they loved their family so much why would they bring them into that horrible life ?
Good point. Maybe it's just his family vs. mine and I shouldn't generalize, but if it walks like a duck......
Both these posters are still in the "Dominicans are poor honest folkes who have little but yet will share what they have",stage!!!
AND blinded by love " SEX" with their Dominican STUDE!!!!!
What a big surprise is fuming!!!!!!
No doubt they would never think of going around with a black man with no job,money,or education in their own country.
We "o!
LD times" here have read these same posts 1,000 times here before,just different names.
They should both print out this post, and save it.
In a year they can say "How could I have been so stupid"?????
Hopefully not pregnant at the time!!!!
Ccccccccccccc
AND blinded by love " SEX" with their Dominican STUDE!!!!!
What a big surprise is fuming!!!!!!
No doubt they would never think of going around with a black man with no job,money,or education in their own country.
We "o!
LD times" here have read these same posts 1,000 times here before,just different names.
They should both print out this post, and save it.
In a year they can say "How could I have been so stupid"?????
Hopefully not pregnant at the time!!!!
Ccccccccccccc
Is a STUDE different than a STUD? Just curious. A "stude" sounds slightly better. Like "studious." Please advise. Inquiring minds need to know!
Meemsellllllllllllllllllllllle
No, Dominicans when speaking like to put a random " E " sound in front of the Noun at times.
CC is merely putting it at the Tail end , for his own amusement most likely.
or it could be just an abnormally sticky crumb has locked the D and E keys together on his keyboard..
CC is merely putting it at the Tail end , for his own amusement most likely.
or it could be just an abnormally sticky crumb has locked the D and E keys together on his keyboard..
True. a criticism of me(&us) is that I(we) are cold and robotic. I consider that description silly because we can also have a functional conversation and transmit useful information rather than waste time sharing platitudes, misinformation and outright lies. My friend's sister said we are cold and distant and I said "maybe. But we are the only people who can complete a task on first attempt without making excuses, cutting corners or lying."
And the willingness to give your children to complete sttrangers under the pretense they will live a vanglorious life is disturbing.
And the ability to dismiss unparticipatory or noncontributing fathers is bogus.
or it could be just an abnormally sticky crumb has locked the D and E keys together on his keyboard..
Perhaps CC just has fat fingers or he is typing too fast. The e key is above the d key, and if you press down both keys you will get two letters.
I am pretty certain that when he typed STUDE in lieu of STUD it was not a reference to Studebakers.
Perhaps CC just has fat fingers or he is typing too fast. The e key is above the d key, and if you press down both keys you will get two letters.
I am pretty certain that when he typed STUDE in lieu of STUD it was not a reference to Studebakers.