ATM instructions for the sexes...

Escott

Gold
Jan 14, 2002
7,716
6
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www.escottinsosua.blogspot.com
The Commonwealth Bank is very pleased to announce that we are Installing new
Drive-thru ATMs where our customers will be able withdraw cash without
leaving their vehicle. To ensure that our customer's needs are met with the
high level of service they have come to expect from Australia's leading
bank, we have conducted extensive behavioural studies to develop appropriate
procedures for their use.

Customers will be able to apply whichever procedure has been developed for
their particular group, and will be encouraged to remember the procedure in
order to make best use of their visit to the Drive-thru ATM. For instance,
Male and Female procedures have been tailored to best reflect the behaviours
of those particular groupings.

PROCEDURE FOR MALE CUSTOMERS:

1. Drive up to the ATM
2. Open the car window
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN
4. Enter amount of cash required and press "enter"
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6. Close window
7. Drive away

PROCEDURE FOR FEMALE CUSTOMERS:
1. Drive up to the ATM
2. Reverse back the required distance to align car with ATM
3. Re-start stalled engine
4. Open the car window
5. Find handbag, empty all contents onto the passenger seat and locate card
6. Turn radio down
7. Attempt to insert card into ATM
8. Open car door to allow easier access to ATM due to excessive distance
from car to ATM
9. Insert card
10. Re-insert card the right way up
11. Ignore the sound of car horn from vehicle behind
12. Search contents of handbag (on passenger seat) to locate diary with PIN
written on the inside back page under "Date of Birth"
13. Enter PIN
14. Press "cancel" and re-enter PIN
15. Enter amount of cash required and check make-up in rear view mirror
16. Drum fingertips on steering wheel, look at ATM for one minute and then
press "enter"
17. Retrieve cash and receipt
18. Search contents of handbag (on passenger seat) to locate purse and place
cash inside
19. Place receipt in back of cheque book
20. Re-check make-up
21. Drive forward two metres
22. Reverse back to ATM ignoring the sound of car horn from vehicle
behind
23. Retrieve card
24. Search contents of handbag (on passenger seat) to locate card holder and
place card in an empty slot
25. Drive two or three kilometres
26. Release hand brake