2 jokes

2 quality jokes


This guy is flying down the road, and he drives over a bridge. Sure
enough, a cop with a radar gun is sitting on the other side of the
bridge. The cop pulls him over. He walks up to the guy's car and
asks, "What's the hurry?"
The guy says, "I'm late for work."
"What do you do?" the cop asks.
The guy responds, "Well, I'm a rectum stretcher."
The cop says, "What? A rectum stretcher?"
The guy says, "Yeah. I start with a finger, then work my way up to two
fingers... eventually I get a hand in, then both hands, and I slowly
stretch it until it's about six feet wide."
The cop asks, "What do you do with a six-foot asshole?"
The guy answers, "Well, you give him a radar gun and park him at the
end of a bridge....."
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In America the late night news used to broadcast this message:
"It's 11 o'clock do you know where your children are?

In England they say
"Its 11 o'clock do you know where your wife is?

In France they say "It's 11o'clock do you know where your husband is?"

In Poland they say Its 11 o'clock do you know what time it is?