>
>Osama bin Laden was sitting in his cave plotting terrorist strategies
>when his cellular telephone rang.
>
>"Haaallo, Mr. Laden", a heavy Cuban accented voice said. "This is Pepe down
>at the new Cuban American Club in Miami, Florida. I am ringing to inform you that we Cubans in exile are officially declaring war on you! Matter of fact, we WILL kick your ass! ...And let me warn you, Cubans NEVER exaggerate!!!
>"Well, Pepe," Osama replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
>"Right now," said Pepe, after a moment's calculation, "there is
myself,
>my cousin Jorge El Gordo, my next door neighbor Juan El Tuerto, my wife's brother Jose el Calvo, Chucho el de Hialeah, and the entire Calle Ocho domino playing club. That makes eight!"
>Osama paused. "I must tell you, Pepe, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
>"Co?o", said Pepe. "I'll have to ring you back!"
>
>Sure enough, the next day, Pepe called again. "Mr. Laden, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
>"And what equipment would that be, Pepe?" Osama asked.
>
>"Well, we have an almost new 1987 SUV, machine gun and supplies from
>Tamiami Gun Shop!"
>
>Osama sighed. "I must tell you, Pepe, that I have 16,000 tanks and
>14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to
1-1/2
>since we last spoke."
>
>"Que jodienda!", said Pepe. "I'll have to get back to you."
>
>Sure enough, Pepe rang again the next day. "Mr. Laden, the war is
still on!
>
>We have managed to get Bay of Pigs invasion left-over equipment on
loan
>from La Brigada 2506 ."
>
>Osama was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must
tell
>you, Pepe, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My
>military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile
>sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO
MILLION!"
>
>"No me digas eso, chico!" said Pepe, "I'll have to ring you back."
>
>
>Sure enough, Pepe called again the next day. "Mornin', Mr. Laden! I am
>sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
>
>"I'm sorry to hear that," said Osama. "Why the sudden change of heart,
>amigo?"
>
>"Well," said Pepe, "we've all had a long chat over a few cervezas and
pan
>con lechon and have decided there's no way in hell we can feed two
million
>prisoners!"
>Osama bin Laden was sitting in his cave plotting terrorist strategies
>when his cellular telephone rang.
>
>"Haaallo, Mr. Laden", a heavy Cuban accented voice said. "This is Pepe down
>at the new Cuban American Club in Miami, Florida. I am ringing to inform you that we Cubans in exile are officially declaring war on you! Matter of fact, we WILL kick your ass! ...And let me warn you, Cubans NEVER exaggerate!!!
>"Well, Pepe," Osama replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
>"Right now," said Pepe, after a moment's calculation, "there is
myself,
>my cousin Jorge El Gordo, my next door neighbor Juan El Tuerto, my wife's brother Jose el Calvo, Chucho el de Hialeah, and the entire Calle Ocho domino playing club. That makes eight!"
>Osama paused. "I must tell you, Pepe, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
>"Co?o", said Pepe. "I'll have to ring you back!"
>
>Sure enough, the next day, Pepe called again. "Mr. Laden, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
>"And what equipment would that be, Pepe?" Osama asked.
>
>"Well, we have an almost new 1987 SUV, machine gun and supplies from
>Tamiami Gun Shop!"
>
>Osama sighed. "I must tell you, Pepe, that I have 16,000 tanks and
>14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to
1-1/2
>since we last spoke."
>
>"Que jodienda!", said Pepe. "I'll have to get back to you."
>
>Sure enough, Pepe rang again the next day. "Mr. Laden, the war is
still on!
>
>We have managed to get Bay of Pigs invasion left-over equipment on
loan
>from La Brigada 2506 ."
>
>Osama was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must
tell
>you, Pepe, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My
>military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile
>sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO
MILLION!"
>
>"No me digas eso, chico!" said Pepe, "I'll have to ring you back."
>
>
>Sure enough, Pepe called again the next day. "Mornin', Mr. Laden! I am
>sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
>
>"I'm sorry to hear that," said Osama. "Why the sudden change of heart,
>amigo?"
>
>"Well," said Pepe, "we've all had a long chat over a few cervezas and
pan
>con lechon and have decided there's no way in hell we can feed two
million
>prisoners!"
:bandit: