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Thread: Republican National Convention Schedule

  1. #1
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    Default Republican National Convention Schedule

    Here is the new convention schedule...


    >6:00pm - Opening prayer
    >
    >6:15pm - Supplementary opening prayer
    >
    >6:30pm - Prayer in thanks of first two prayers
    >
    >6:45pm - New energy policy presented by Exxon
    >
    >7:00pm - Canonization of Reagan
    >
    >7:15pm - Additional prayers
    >
    >7:30pm - Opening remarks by Halliburton
    >
    >8:00pm - Prayer for the safety and well-being of Ken "Kenny-boy" Lay
    >
    >8:15pm - Additional remarks by Halliburton
    >
    >8:30pm - Stoning of the first homosexual
    >
    >8:45pm - New healthcare polices presented by HMO leader, Kaiser
    >Permanente
    >
    >9:00pm - Invasion of Iran or North Korea (TBA)
    >
    >9:15pm - Hallib urton contributes 1.4 billion to Republican party
    >
    >9:30pm - Reagan elevated to savior, Holy Trinity now referred to as "the
    >
    >quads"
    >
    >9:45pm - Bush undergoes plastic surgery to look more like Reagan
    >
    >10:00pm - Cheney runs into Ron Reagan, Jr. Tells him to go **** himself
    >
    >10:15pm - Recall of troops from accidental invasion of South Korea
    >(Bush:>"Damn, the SOUTH is our ally. My bad mistake.")
    >
    >10:30pm - Burning at the stake of 16 year-old Jenny Williams, who had an
    >
    >illegal abortion after being raped by her cousin
    >
    >10:45pm - Dancing around the golden calf
    >
    >11:00pm - Stoning of the partner of the first homosexual
    >
    >11:15pm - New forestry policy presented by Weyerhaeuser
    >
    >11:45pm - Thanking God for his wisdom in choosing Bush as president
    >
    >12:00pm - Closing prayers (lasting until 2:00am)
    >
    >2:00 a m - Hookers arrive for all delegates

  2. #2
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    Default

    Funny! I think there's only one error. Bush never ever admits he's wrong and has made a mistake. He just thought the South Korea was SOUTH of where he was, not that it was a separate country. You know people in the states don't know a lick about geography...

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