If I'm not mistaken the below was originally authored by the smartest man on the planet....George Carlin. At least he thinks he is.
THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD
Well, it's sh** ... that's right, sh**!
Sh** may just be the most functional word in the English language.
Consider:
You can get sh**-faced, Be sh**-out-of-luck, Or have sh** for brains.
With a little effort, you can get your sh** together, find a place
for your sh**, or be asked to sh** or get off the pot.
You can smoke sh**, buy sh**, sell sh**, lose sh**, find sh**, forget sh**, and tell others to eat sh**.
Some people know their sh**, while others can't tell the difference
between sh** and shineola.
There are lucky sh**s, dumb sh**s, and crazy sh**s. There is bull sh**,
horse sh**, and chicken sh**.
You can throw sh**, sling sh**, catch sh**, shoot the sh**, or duck when the sh** hits the fan.
You can give a sh** or serve sh** on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep sh** or be happier than a pig in sh**.
Some days are colder than sh**, some days are hotter than sh**, and some days are just plain sh**ty.
Some music sounds like sh**, things can look like sh**, and there are times when you feel like sh**.
You can have too much sh**, not enough sh**, the right sh**, the wrong sh** or a lot of weird sh**.
You can carry sh**, have a mountain of sh**, or find yourself up sh** creek without a paddle.
Sometimes everything you touch turns to sh** and other times you fall in a bucket of sh** and come out smelling like a rose.
When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language.
And remember, once you know your sh**, you don't need to know anything else!!
You could pass this along, if you give a sh**; or not do so if you don't give a sh**!
Well, Sh**, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a sh** and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of sh**. But,
if you happened to catch a load of sh** from some sh**-head..........
Well, Sh** Happens!!!
THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD
Well, it's sh** ... that's right, sh**!
Sh** may just be the most functional word in the English language.
Consider:
You can get sh**-faced, Be sh**-out-of-luck, Or have sh** for brains.
With a little effort, you can get your sh** together, find a place
for your sh**, or be asked to sh** or get off the pot.
You can smoke sh**, buy sh**, sell sh**, lose sh**, find sh**, forget sh**, and tell others to eat sh**.
Some people know their sh**, while others can't tell the difference
between sh** and shineola.
There are lucky sh**s, dumb sh**s, and crazy sh**s. There is bull sh**,
horse sh**, and chicken sh**.
You can throw sh**, sling sh**, catch sh**, shoot the sh**, or duck when the sh** hits the fan.
You can give a sh** or serve sh** on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep sh** or be happier than a pig in sh**.
Some days are colder than sh**, some days are hotter than sh**, and some days are just plain sh**ty.
Some music sounds like sh**, things can look like sh**, and there are times when you feel like sh**.
You can have too much sh**, not enough sh**, the right sh**, the wrong sh** or a lot of weird sh**.
You can carry sh**, have a mountain of sh**, or find yourself up sh** creek without a paddle.
Sometimes everything you touch turns to sh** and other times you fall in a bucket of sh** and come out smelling like a rose.
When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language.
And remember, once you know your sh**, you don't need to know anything else!!
You could pass this along, if you give a sh**; or not do so if you don't give a sh**!
Well, Sh**, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a sh** and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of sh**. But,
if you happened to catch a load of sh** from some sh**-head..........
Well, Sh** Happens!!!