Today's Horoscopes

You are the pioneer type and hold most people in contempt. You are quick tempered, impatient and scornful of advice. You are pretty much a prick.




You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and will work like hell. You are stubborn and bullheaded and will not accept advice from others. Most Taurus's play with themselves.





You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little leading people to conclude that you are cheap.





You are sympathetic and understanding to others peoples problems. They think you are a loser. On the other hand, you are always putting things off, and that is why you never get anything done.





You consider yourself a born leader while others think you are pushy and an all-around pain in the ass. Most Leo's are bullies by nature. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance causes friction with others.





You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nitpicking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while making love. Virgos make excellent IRS agents.





You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are male you are most likely gay. Most Libra women are considered easy. Frequent changes in employment are expected because of your inability to cope.




You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You achieve the pinnacle of success because of your lack of ethics. You are the perfect son of a bitch. Most Scorpios are socially retarded.





You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You are have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you lack talent. The majority of Sagittarians are substance abusers. People laugh at you a great deal because you are always getting screwed.





You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You don't do much of anything and are considered lazy. There has never been a Capricorn of any real importance. Capricorns should avoid standing still for long periods of time as they tend to attract pigeons.





You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. On the other hand you are inclined to be careless and impractical causing you to make the same mistakes repeatedly. To the casual observer you appear incredibly stupid.





You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed. You have a minor influence over your associates and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and class. You're also bad in bed.

Ricardo900 said:

nice:classic:
What sign are you?

Click to expand...

I was born on the last day of the zodiac, and accordig to astrologers, I am a mix of all the signs.

So that pretty much means I'm a bisexual prick who likes to play with myself.