Language and Love

usually starts in the bedroom.....speaking the language of love

If they are very feeling each other they start to teach each other their own language.

It starts with the 10 inches in front of the guy and the money in the girl's pockets.

My boyfriend speaks good English but not very good English.We understand each other perfectly and kind of have our own sort of language .Most of my friends and family do have trouble understanding my boyfriend.

But i have often wondered the same question
what if the situation was different ?? how would you say "hi honey how was your day " or " see you at 8.30pm " you would be left standing around for someone who wasnt going to turn up !!

But saying that i have read of stories were neither party speaks each others language however have married and had a successfull relationship ???

Im baffled too.............

usually starts in the bed when nothing else matters but the hot and heavy, then once you get past that romance stage you realize it is hard to communicate with each other then it goes downhill. Of course if one person is working to learn the others language there is hope.

Communication in a relationship can be hard even when you speak the same language.

Codes

blondytomato said:

....We understand each other perfectly and kind of have our own sort of language.

Click to expand...

Like so many.
There'll always be people whose grunts and groans are enough for communicating with each other.... until they have to employ laywers with a more elaborate code to get them untangled.

m'frog

I used to wonder about this when I worked in TEFL. Teachers would come back from countries like Japan or Russia with a partner in tow, and very little in common language-wise. How did they have anything but mundane conversations? I know that some people don't consider that so important in a relationship - look at all the couples where one partner is educated and the other isn't - but what happens when they're discussing something really important or having an argument for that matter? You really need to be able to express yourself accurately to get your point across to the other person, and anything other than complete fluency can lead to some very stupid misunderstandings!

Oh, and another thing - I know some couples who don't speak each other's language and use English as a 'lingua franca' - developing their own dialect in the process as they adopt each other's mistakes.

Chirimoya said:

Oh, and another thing - I know some couples who don't speak each other's language and use English as a 'lingua franca' - developing their own dialect in the process as they adopt each other's mistakes.

Click to expand...

I know lots of couples that do not speak eachothers language but use english instead, that's very, very normal, maybe because in my country nearly everyone speaks english and people mingle a lot throughout Europe. Some don't even really have the urge to learn eachothers language, even when married, as they're both fluent in english and that will remain the best way to communicate. But those cases are really different from not speaking any common language at all. Those must be really the relationships of the desparate, they're missing the best part. Even if one is willing to learn the other's language, it takes a long time to learn a new language and be able to appreciate the details of conversations. How they keep the relationship going in the meantime is beyond me.

One usually learns the other's language real quick. Depends on how well they click and the comfort level.

Willie

I have a girlfriend who speaks no English so we communicate in Spanish. When I first met her I had only been learning Spanish a few weeks, so had difficulty communicating as she has an atrocious accent and can be hard to understand, especially on the phone. However, my Spanish has improved greatly. The key to communication is to realise that basically everyone has the same needs, so by application of a bit of intelligence, and knowledge of the context, you can tell what they mean. So if my novia says "alaloo" I know from context that she wants the light turned off, even if it doesn't sound much like "Apage la luz".

I can tell exactly how it happend for me and my gf....you can communicate so many ways without even talking and without getting in the sack.

if you want you find ways....you ask others, body and hand language...you can teach each other the others languane in minutes.. by saying your word and gesturing.. the other person picks up the meaning pretty fast.... you can say walk and motion with your 2 fingers like walking and then say ...espanol??? believ they get the drift you are asking whats the word in spanish.. and bam you are on your way...you can spend hours doing that stuff. Some of the best and funniest times are trying to figure out the answers inthis little game.....you can go out, to a disco...you can motion if she would like a drink.. the guy comes over, and you point to her and he asks her...you pay..... he shows you the bill..you read it... you ask to dance with gestures to the dance floor and a little body movement.... you dancing .

you need directions...when the turn you ned to make is coming up...all kinds of sounds start to come out and you know your gonna have to do soemthing.. and she says teracha,( spelling ??) several times.. and then points to the right...you just learned a right turn is called teracha


same goes for back forward and left...... it is hard to have a conversation over the phone like that...but in person..it is way easier than you can imagine. Now we have been seeing each other for over 7 months.... when we talk we can speak 95% english or maybe 60% spanish.... and every sentence has both english and spanish words in it now days.....

early on i had a small hand held translator... and on my second trip down i bought another for her to always have...got stuck..went to the translator.

bob

English was my husband and I's first language and I often thought we spoke different languages. He real did have selective hearing. Isn't that a normal male thing??????????? By the way our relationship lasted 30 years and we found a lot of humor in the miscommunication through the years. Humor and laughter seems to be the answer.

This picture is key when meeting people in the DR!!!

yes it can start in the bedroom the language of love, but after that is over sign language begins. Oh boy that is difficult 2 people who don't understand each other. It's better if both speak the same language.

Me: "English?"

A beautiful Dominican Girl :"No."

Me: "Korean?"

A beautiful Dominican Girl :"No."

Me: "Chinese?"

A beautiful Dominican Girl :"No. Espaniol."

Me: ":ermm: :bunny: "

Novela One

Well, I once listened to a friend whine for hours on the phone to me. And he had two small children. I asked him how he got along with his ex, their mother. He said, "it was great in the beginning, but now that I speak her language I am beginning to hate her, the very mother of my children." He said that he enjoyed the early days of love and lust and simple communication. And he paid later. HOW could he know that the smiling lady was a gringa buddhist who would raise his kids to pray to the "Goddess"? How could she have known he was Catholic? He didn't go to church.


Novela Two

I know a happy couple who started with the same sparking love lust combo, later both speak both languages well, and guess how THEY explain their longevity as a couple...???... Wanna know...not sex, you dumbie.

They told me that each is a quick-silver chattybox schmozer in his/her own language, and that without words to hide behind, and it was so hard to get evena few words across, that they focused on the essentials. No time for second-guesing, game playing/manipulation, testing, none of that crappola. Hmn.........

Novela Three

As for me, I have no similar experience. Though there was that deaf hottie that I did not realize was deaf. I kept wondering why he didn't say "Excuse me" when he bumped into me. On. The. Dance. FLoor.

I must stop myself before I say too much -- Sam

I honestly don't get how you can lead a "relationship" with someone you cannot talk to. At least not long-distance. But some people seem to be content with very little.
I translate letters/e-mails to and from Cuba and the Dominican Republic on a daily basis. They're usually very similar, they don't talk about what's going on in a person life, they're plain short love letters with the same expression used over and over again.
Some of these people have been staying in contact like that for months. But I don't see a dialogue going on their. There's no real progress. They're not getting to know each other, they remain on the same level. Ok, of course there are sometimes proposals of marriage or sudden illness and the need for money etc. after a while. There are also break-ups over various things.
I don't understand how people can hold on to something like this for so long. That surely cannot be a satisfactory relationship to them!? Why don't they learn each other's language? I heard that German is not that easy to learn, but in a few months you can easily at least reach a command of Spanish that's sufficient to translate these kinds of e-mails.

In any case I cannot imagine not being able to talk to my partner at all or only with some kind of "universal sign language" *cough*. My Dominican friend and I have three languages in common, but still there are misunderstandings sometimes.
Communicating is an art, even if you speak the same language.

Good luck to those who're still giving such a relationship a try.

I know today almost everyone will be understanding the language of love. It's the only language that is universal; Sexxxxxxxxxx........................