>
>
> * Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything
> else is starting to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
>
> * There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss
> of memory. I forget the other two.
>
> * You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse
> goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
>
> * Middle age is when work is a lot less fun -- and fun is a
> lot more work.
>
> * Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five
> women to every man. Now isn't that a great time for a guy
> to get those kind of odds?
>
> * You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the
> office start confiding in you.
>
> * Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get
> tired.
>
> * By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's
> too old to go anywhere.
>
> * Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends,
> and have begun to grow in the middle.
>
> * A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow
> down by his doctor instead of by the police.
>
> * You know you're into middle age when you realize that
> caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
>
> * You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you
> can't get it started.
>
> * You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-
> after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before!
>
> * The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.
>
> * It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.
>
> * When you lean over to pick something up off the floor, you
> ask yourself if there is anything else you need to do while
> you are down there.
>
> * You find yourself in the middle of the stairway, and you
> can't remember if you were downstairs going up or upstairs
> going down.
>
>
>
> * Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything
> else is starting to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
>
> * There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss
> of memory. I forget the other two.
>
> * You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse
> goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
>
> * Middle age is when work is a lot less fun -- and fun is a
> lot more work.
>
> * Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five
> women to every man. Now isn't that a great time for a guy
> to get those kind of odds?
>
> * You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the
> office start confiding in you.
>
> * Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get
> tired.
>
> * By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's
> too old to go anywhere.
>
> * Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends,
> and have begun to grow in the middle.
>
> * A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow
> down by his doctor instead of by the police.
>
> * You know you're into middle age when you realize that
> caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
>
> * You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you
> can't get it started.
>
> * You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-
> after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before!
>
> * The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.
>
> * It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.
>
> * When you lean over to pick something up off the floor, you
> ask yourself if there is anything else you need to do while
> you are down there.
>
> * You find yourself in the middle of the stairway, and you
> can't remember if you were downstairs going up or upstairs
> going down.
>
>