So I have been lurking here for a few months, but afraid to post. I met a nice man while on vacation in the DR and kept in touch with him. A few months ago I went to visit him. We had a great time I thought, but he has asked me for money a few times and after reading this forum, I no longer feel bad for him, just sad that someone would try to use another person and be dishonest. I indeed did see how he lives and its not a life I would be able to handle (no hot water, small homes, not enough food sometimes), but.... no matter what I believe a decent man would not ask a woman for money. I am young, attractive and of Mexican decent, but I think he may have liked me, but also liked the money he thought he may get more. I have not yet told him how I feel, or about this site, but I think it may be time to call it quits. I don't wnt to hear any cruel remarks from some of the rude people here, I just needed to vent.
- Thread starter dr_qt
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I feel sad
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Sorry
I'm sorry you are sad. I haven't been in your shoes, but I can only say from what I have read about sankies on this site I would RUN like the wind baby! You seem smart, you are seeing red flags. Your intuition is already speaking volumes. Trust it and walk--run...if you are still unsure, read all the stuff on this site. You can do better. Shake it off. When we know better we do better. Poverty does ugly things to people. Its no excuse--but it is a reason. Keep your chin up. Blessings. lk
I'm sorry you are sad. I haven't been in your shoes, but I can only say from what I have read about sankies on this site I would RUN like the wind baby! You seem smart, you are seeing red flags. Your intuition is already speaking volumes. Trust it and walk--run...if you are still unsure, read all the stuff on this site. You can do better. Shake it off. When we know better we do better. Poverty does ugly things to people. Its no excuse--but it is a reason. Keep your chin up. Blessings. lk
Thank you Chichiguita, for your helpful words. I agree with you about running. It feels odd when you think you have begun to build something with another person and then come to realize they are trying to use you. Well I see this as his loss and a lesson for me.
Amen!!!!
Just because he tried to use you doesn't mean there isn't PLENTY of good in you. You are going to be fine. Sorry that happened, but don't for a minute think that it detracts from who you are, or your value. I applaud you for having the guts to see it and walk rather than live in denial! Keep looking up.
Just because he tried to use you doesn't mean there isn't PLENTY of good in you. You are going to be fine. Sorry that happened, but don't for a minute think that it detracts from who you are, or your value. I applaud you for having the guts to see it and walk rather than live in denial! Keep looking up.
Hi DR QT Welcome. I hope that people do behave themselves especially since you asked them to!!
What I have discovered is that some people in the DR have no qualms about asking a foreigner for money. They automatically assume that since you're not Dominican you have bucks. In comparison you do.
I find it very rude. I had a friend do it to me. The first time I went beserk the second time I told her it was very rude in my culture to ask people for money. She said she wouldn't ask me again. I will not give/loan her money. My sister has been asked, my co-worker who is Dominican has been asked by her friend, who's family is wealthy to buy her a computer and bring it to the DR. People have banged on my friend's front door in SD and asked for money. It's mind boggling.
My point is just because he asked for money doesn't necessarily make him a sankie. It definitely makes him rude/greedy. There has to be other behavior to accommodate the money asking to make him a sankie.
And you are right--- men should not be asking a woman for money.
What I have discovered is that some people in the DR have no qualms about asking a foreigner for money. They automatically assume that since you're not Dominican you have bucks. In comparison you do.
I find it very rude. I had a friend do it to me. The first time I went beserk the second time I told her it was very rude in my culture to ask people for money. She said she wouldn't ask me again. I will not give/loan her money. My sister has been asked, my co-worker who is Dominican has been asked by her friend, who's family is wealthy to buy her a computer and bring it to the DR. People have banged on my friend's front door in SD and asked for money. It's mind boggling.
My point is just because he asked for money doesn't necessarily make him a sankie. It definitely makes him rude/greedy. There has to be other behavior to accommodate the money asking to make him a sankie.
And you are right--- men should not be asking a woman for money.
to 2left feet
Aside from asking for money he has been great, but I have never had a boyfriend ask me for money and I would never ask either. He has given me gifts (flowers, pictures), but after reading here I wonder where he gets the money? I would never judge someone by thier income, but neverthe less I expect respect and feel that asking for money is disrespectful, especially for men.
Aside from asking for money he has been great, but I have never had a boyfriend ask me for money and I would never ask either. He has given me gifts (flowers, pictures), but after reading here I wonder where he gets the money? I would never judge someone by thier income, but neverthe less I expect respect and feel that asking for money is disrespectful, especially for men.
It is disrespectful--- He is no gentleman that's for sure. You should be treated like a lady. A man that asks a woman for money is no good. You deserve better. A man should be able to provide for himself. He should have pride. The same goes for a woman but we're talking about men here.
If you have another conversation with him and he brings up "borrowing" money you should tell him that he's rude!
If you have another conversation with him and he brings up "borrowing" money you should tell him that he's rude!
sanky or no sanky...
It sets the relationship off on the wrong tone, I think. I see nothing wrong with a woman paying for a date sometimes--but to be giving a "love interest" cash puts you in a position of power that I don't think is healthy in a love relationship. I would feel the same about a woman asking for money from a man she is dating.
I hear what you are saying, 2leftfeet, I guess all these sanky threads have me looking at people with more suspicion. Sad.
I have not had "love interests" in the DR, but I have had a person or two ask me for help (clothes for kids, school supplies, help to pay for an operation--the operation really happened she had the stitches to show for it).
I have seen so many of my Dominican friends give to others that I accepted that in the DR friends just share in that way. I kind of respect it, actually--even if it is a little uncomfortable. I have had to learn how to say "no" sometimes.
Sanky or no sanky, I still caution anyone whose date or love interest is asking for cash. Whether he is using her or not--I think it sets the relationship on an uneven keel from the start.
It sets the relationship off on the wrong tone, I think. I see nothing wrong with a woman paying for a date sometimes--but to be giving a "love interest" cash puts you in a position of power that I don't think is healthy in a love relationship. I would feel the same about a woman asking for money from a man she is dating.
I hear what you are saying, 2leftfeet, I guess all these sanky threads have me looking at people with more suspicion. Sad.
I have not had "love interests" in the DR, but I have had a person or two ask me for help (clothes for kids, school supplies, help to pay for an operation--the operation really happened she had the stitches to show for it).
I have seen so many of my Dominican friends give to others that I accepted that in the DR friends just share in that way. I kind of respect it, actually--even if it is a little uncomfortable. I have had to learn how to say "no" sometimes.
Sanky or no sanky, I still caution anyone whose date or love interest is asking for cash. Whether he is using her or not--I think it sets the relationship on an uneven keel from the start.
Chichi I agree with you. Nobody should ask you for cash especially a BF. It's wrong.
My understanding of a sankie is there has to be a course of action. The only thing dr qt said was that he asked her for $$$. She wasn't explicit. That's her decision and I don't blame her. It can get a little rough and tumble around her at times.
Since that was the only thing that was said it can't be said if he is or he isn't.
He could really like her but just be greedy or he could be a sankie.
There isn't enough information provided to make that determination.
My understanding of a sankie is there has to be a course of action. The only thing dr qt said was that he asked her for $$$. She wasn't explicit. That's her decision and I don't blame her. It can get a little rough and tumble around her at times.
Since that was the only thing that was said it can't be said if he is or he isn't.
He could really like her but just be greedy or he could be a sankie.
There isn't enough information provided to make that determination.
I have told him that it is not normal for a man to ask a woman for money, but he asked twice after this. I may have spoken about my income too casually to him. I think when he saw how much I spent on my vacation he may have thought "she's rich", but I tried to explain about credit cards to him and that I am working hard to pay for what I have. He has family that make more money than I do, but he still asked me for money instead of them. That is why I am so upset. Next time we speak I will tell him it is vey rude to ask for money.
Men!
VENT away GIRL!
Down there this is a very popular issue....i wont lie i've been vicitim of a "SANKIE" haha however...money was never involved infact id much rather be with some1 who is genuine and honest who may need some extra cash for help rather than what i got involved with...It's very hard to trust people in this world no matter where they are from...I agree a man should not ask a woman for money...although this is a common case its hard for us to distinguish between someone scamming you or someone that really needs the help...and if you love someone money shouldn't be an issue (within reason). The best bet if you really care about this person is to follow your heart and keep in mind he's made it this far without you and your money
, sure sometimes our hearts lead us to the wrong place but we never know unless we try...i have many friends from there who have Foreign Girlfriends who do help them financially but only incases of emergencies and i've seen both sides "sankies" as well as loyal...It takes a series of different events to reveal someones true colors...its 50/50...Its funny how mostly the men are talked about being "sankies" unfaithful scammers...I recently was down there and met a nice girl who i became good friends with since i've been home she's called me several times asking for money...we're friends but the way i see it she was doing fine well their perspective of "fine" without me...why all of a sudden is she in need of a handout???...it amazes me, because we aren't from there we are immediately classified as RICH...little does this friend of mine know haha...
VENT away GIRL!
Down there this is a very popular issue....i wont lie i've been vicitim of a "SANKIE" haha however...money was never involved infact id much rather be with some1 who is genuine and honest who may need some extra cash for help rather than what i got involved with...It's very hard to trust people in this world no matter where they are from...I agree a man should not ask a woman for money...although this is a common case its hard for us to distinguish between someone scamming you or someone that really needs the help...and if you love someone money shouldn't be an issue (within reason). The best bet if you really care about this person is to follow your heart and keep in mind he's made it this far without you and your money
, sure sometimes our hearts lead us to the wrong place but we never know unless we try...i have many friends from there who have Foreign Girlfriends who do help them financially but only incases of emergencies and i've seen both sides "sankies" as well as loyal...It takes a series of different events to reveal someones true colors...its 50/50...Its funny how mostly the men are talked about being "sankies" unfaithful scammers...I recently was down there and met a nice girl who i became good friends with since i've been home she's called me several times asking for money...we're friends but the way i see it she was doing fine well their perspective of "fine" without me...why all of a sudden is she in need of a handout???...it amazes me, because we aren't from there we are immediately classified as RICH...little does this friend of mine know haha...You women just love the soap opera don't you? I wonder if any of you women have done anything productive in your whole life instead of just sitting around and inventing new real life soap operas. Some of you women must be blind in order not to see through some people. Do all of you folks live in indiana or some small corn field towns where you folks have no touch with anyone? How is it that you women don't see whats coming at you?
Don't bother calling him or explaining him anything. He meets women every week. Why do you women think that it was an accident that you met someone on vacation in a resort? They don't give a rat's ass about you or any other fatty that comes their way. Just forget about him and move on to your life. Lose weight and try to look attractive. I am sure you will find a good guy where you live. Good luck.
AZB
Don't bother calling him or explaining him anything. He meets women every week. Why do you women think that it was an accident that you met someone on vacation in a resort? They don't give a rat's ass about you or any other fatty that comes their way. Just forget about him and move on to your life. Lose weight and try to look attractive. I am sure you will find a good guy where you live. Good luck.
AZB
C
Chip00
Guest
Please read the DR1 threads about situation like this becasue we have discussed it a lot.
In a nutshell, most average Dominicans cannot nor will never be convinced that anyone from the US in NOT rich. They just can't do it God bless them.
It is part of the fabric of the society and many think money comes so easy to Americans and foreigners in general. If they only knew right?
My advice is to stay away from this guy. First you got a good head on your shoulders even though you fell for this guy - it can happen to the best of us. Two, your are I understand a young attractive professional so you will have plenty of time to meet the "right" one.
My only advice is if you are intent on trying to find a Domincan, visit the interior of the country and don't hang out in the tourist areas. Santiago or Santo Domingo would be better. That way you could meet someone more or less along the same social status and you have less chance of being a target.
Suerte
ouch!
buuuuuuuuurrrrrrnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahahahahaha
you hit the waki paki right where it'll hurt. (he'll deny it but congrats!!)
buuuuuuuuurrrrrrnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahahahahaha
you hit the waki paki right where it'll hurt. (he'll deny it but congrats!!)
Hey you girls ............ what's up with equal rights for women tonight??
I am a liberated man (check with 'She who must be Obeyed!) that supports women having the vote, that enjoys holding a door open for a woman, that insists on opening a car door when putting a woman in (or getting her out) a car!! In the same way I am a 'Gentleman' that supports women lifting the same heavy loads as men, hat agrees a woman should be able to reach the high shelves (whilst I hold the ladder) to get the files in boxes down. Why should I not therefor be one that also supports the right of women to be asked to pay for meals, good times etc!! irate:
Fair deal for women AND men please!! ~ Grahame,:bunny: gre:
I am a liberated man (check with 'She who must be Obeyed!) that supports women having the vote, that enjoys holding a door open for a woman, that insists on opening a car door when putting a woman in (or getting her out) a car!! In the same way I am a 'Gentleman' that supports women lifting the same heavy loads as men, hat agrees a woman should be able to reach the high shelves (whilst I hold the ladder) to get the files in boxes down. Why should I not therefor be one that also supports the right of women to be asked to pay for meals, good times etc!!
irate:Fair deal for women AND men please!! ~
Grahame,:bunny: gre:Como lo digo......
Maybe if a woman says it, perhaps they will listen.
So here it goes......
Brad Pitt: "Give me or send me some money"
Miguela: "GO F*** YOURSELF!!".
Albert Einstein: "Give me or send me some money"
Miguela; "GO F*** YOURSELF!!".
A barrio Tigre: "Give me or send me some money"
Miguela: " GO F*** YOURSELF!!.
A Resort worker: "Give me or send me some money"
Miguela: "GO F*** YOURSELF!!".
A College Professor: "Give me or send me some money"
Miguela: "GO F*** YOURSELF!!".
A Sankie: "Guve me or send me some money"
Miguela: "GO F*** YOURSELF!!.
Bottom line:
A man, ANY MAN, whether he is educated, poor, ugly, handsome, famous, OR WHATEVER:
DOESN'T ASK A WOMAN FOR MONEY!!!!!. NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVER, EEEEEEEEEEEEVER!!. NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!!!!!.
If a man, ANY MAN, asks a woman for money, SHE SHOULD RUN AS FAST AS SHE CAN.
But if you give it to him, don't complain when your life is miserable, when he takes you for granted and when he dumps your axx when you stop sending/giving him more!!.
I have said the same thing here, over the years, about 10,000 times and still some people do not get it.
Maybe if a woman says it, perhaps they will listen.
So here it goes......
Brad Pitt: "Give me or send me some money"
Miguela: "GO F*** YOURSELF!!".
Albert Einstein: "Give me or send me some money"
Miguela; "GO F*** YOURSELF!!".
A barrio Tigre: "Give me or send me some money"
Miguela: " GO F*** YOURSELF!!.
A Resort worker: "Give me or send me some money"
Miguela: "GO F*** YOURSELF!!".
A College Professor: "Give me or send me some money"
Miguela: "GO F*** YOURSELF!!".
A Sankie: "Guve me or send me some money"
Miguela: "GO F*** YOURSELF!!.
Bottom line:
A man, ANY MAN, whether he is educated, poor, ugly, handsome, famous, OR WHATEVER:
DOESN'T ASK A WOMAN FOR MONEY!!!!!. NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVER, EEEEEEEEEEEEVER!!. NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!!!!!.
If a man, ANY MAN, asks a woman for money, SHE SHOULD RUN AS FAST AS SHE CAN.
But if you give it to him, don't complain when your life is miserable, when he takes you for granted and when he dumps your axx when you stop sending/giving him more!!.
I am a liberated man why should I not therefor be one that also supports the right of women to be asked to pay for meals, good times etc!!
Fair deal for women AND men please!! ~
Does "SHE" know?
aranoid: Should we tell her? :laugh:Maybe if you're lucky she won't wonder in here tonight
My motto is " if you give a man money it makes him weak " so who wants a weak man
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