custody/adoption question

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Danny W

Bronze
Mar 1, 2003
999
12
0
Can anyone recommend the correct attorney to help us with this matter? -

I am a 63 year old US citizen and new York resident. In February I will be marrying a Dominican citizen with 2 children. She has 2 children - an 8 year old boy and a 4 year old girl. In reality neither child has a father. The boy's papers list someone as a father who was a friend of the mother, and who agreed to give his name in order to "legitimize" the boy. She has not been in touch with him for about 7 years. The girl's papers do not list a father.

Please, I am only looking for legal advice. We have been a family for 4 years and have a mature relationship. We just want to make sure that I can have custody of the kids should something happen to the mom.
 
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jskr1us

New member
Apr 29, 2003
74
2
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Dan, A word of caution from one who has been there. For 7 years I supported a girl and her supposed one child with no father (thought I knew all about her and her family after all I had been there and had supported her a long time). After I married her was told that she had 3 children not one. Tried to do the right thing and applied for the children. Was told that without the children she was not (no longer) willing/able to have a relationship with me (note I was supporting her all of this time and trying to be understanding of her feelings so I did not push her and did the best I could to do as she wanted). Finally got the children and bam she was gone with the kids and I found out that they did indeed really have fathers. No matter what you think you know I recommend you protect your position so that you do not loose everything. Just a piece of friendly advice from one who has been there and lost not only a dream but also many $. It has been my sad lesson that Many Dominicans only tell part of the truth and though to you it may as a result be a lie but to them it is truth. Also be aware that others (friends, family and neighbors) will cover for them to the bitter end. Love can be blind so verify everything. Note you can love a country and its people even though you can no longer trust some of them (and you never stop loving the children especially once you have given them your heart), but you must be wise enough to know what you have and accept all and their flaws. The only way for you to have any legal claim on the children is to adopt them and more than likely you will not be able to do so under Dominican law and procedure. The sponsor of this forum is the best place to start and you may get lucky, but if the father or recognized father is alive it will not be possible in most cases. Respectfully, JSKR1
 
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planner

.............. ?
Sep 23, 2002
4,409
26
0
Danny - please tell us what part of the country you are visiting / living in and we can refer you to someone.
 
T

Tallman1680

On Vacation
Oct 7, 2006
272
0
0
jskr1us said:
Dan, A word of caution from one who has been there. For 7 years I supported a girl and her supposed one child with no father (thought I knew all about her and her family after all I had been there and had supported her a long time). After I married her was told that she had 3 children not one. Tried to do the right thing and applied for the children. Was told that without the children she was not (no longer) willing/able to have a relationship with me (note I was supporting her all of this time and trying to be understanding of her feelings so I did not push her and did the best I could to do as she wanted). Finally got the children and bam she was gone with the kids and I found out that they did indeed really have fathers. No matter what you think you know I recommend you protect your position so that you do not loose everything. Just a piece of friendly advice from one who has been there and lost not only a dream but also many $. It has been my sad lesson that Many Dominicans only tell part of the truth and though to you it may as a result be a lie but to them it is truth. Also be aware that others (friends, family and neighbors) will cover for them to the bitter end. Love can be blind so verify everything. Note you can love a country and its people even though you can no longer trust some of them (and you never stop loving the children especially once you have given them your heart), but you must be wise enough to know what you have and accept all and their flaws. The only way for you to have any legal claim on the children is to adopt them and more than likely you will not be able to do so under Dominican law and procedure. The sponsor of this forum is the best place to start and you may get lucky, but if the father or recognized father is alive it will not be possible in most cases. Respectfully, JSKR1
Click to expand...

I can't not agree more with you, you are 120% correct on this statement; Dominican women only tell you 1/3 of what really happen, and all their friends and familie will cover every single lie for them, remmenber they always, always play the victim role very well.........
 
D

Danny W

Bronze
Mar 1, 2003
999
12
0
planner said:
Danny - please tell us what part of the country you are visiting / living in and we can refer you to someone.
Click to expand...

Living in Sosua. However for something this important, we want the best, wherever that may be. Thanks - D
 
D

Danny W

Bronze
Mar 1, 2003
999
12
0
Tallman1680 said:
I can't not agree more with you, you are 120% correct on this statement; Dominican women only tell you 1/3 of what really happen, and all their friends and familie will cover every single lie for them, remmenber they always, always play the victim role very well.........
Click to expand...

There are no guarantees is life, but I've learned a little about people in my 63 years, and, as I said, we are a family. But thanks for your warnings - one can never be too cautious. - D
 
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