Alpha-Male: Is there room for jealousy and insecurity

Hi all,

Let me ask a question that may be interesting.

So all over the forum there is claims that latin men are very "masculine" and can be jealous and quite insecure. However isn't this against the traits of the alpha-male, the manliest of men?

Now there are 2 latin men that I know, but both have different methods of dealing with "suspected cheaters". My friend Manny from POP either shouts or gets into a big fight with his novia and then never apologizes for his actions. He just comes back after the fight. They may or may not make love after. I am quite shocked his girlfriend puts up with such behavior.

The other chap is alittle different in his approach to his novia. He is alot a Latino man (not sure about heritage but I'd guess Argentine, since his novia is from there. He prefers to keep quiet or give his novia what I call the look. I even remember his one time quietly tell his novia that if she ever tried that crap again she would be replaced so fast she wouldn't know what hit her. That ended any flirtatious actions on her part or any attempts to try and make him feel jealous.

I am not too sure how it works in the DR. Are men just generally insecure and jealous? How do they deal with flirtatious women in the DR? We europeans will just leave the girl the moment she disrespect us.

How do you feel self-confident men would handle it?

Very true

AZB said:

i think you need to come here and spend some time in this country.
These questions will have different answers from different people. Don't forget you are asking these questions here and the readers are basically 90% foreigners and the ones who are dominicans, live outside of DR. many know even less than we do about their own country as a whole.
AZB

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However it's better to get opinions on this sort of thing and get a general idea of what other people think, Foreigners or expats and Dominicans.

Tell me AZB what is your opinion. Or if you like send me a pm.

catcherintherye said:

I'm not sure I understand exactly what you are asking, Manuel.

Do you simply want each individual's opinion, or are you asking how Dominicanos handle this situation?

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Mostly how dominicanos and/or people that visit the DR and feel they know something about the culture there. And I wouldn't at all mind a personal individual opinion either about how they would deal with Dominicanas and/or other latinas and/or other women of other cultures including USA/Europe/The West. Like I posted to Berzin earlier. I feel that I can compare how board members do things as well with how I would do things. This allows me to see if we are on the same page about how these things are to be dealt with and how not to make the lady in question feel like she has one over us.

Ladies please also feel free to give your opinions too.

Thanks

If you are asking about anyone's opinion then prehaps you should just ask directly.

I'll offer my opinion, which Manuel can either disregard, since I am not Dominican, or take it as just one opinion out of millions.

If I were seriously dating a woman (meaning not just a date of convenience, but as a girlfriend or potential girlfriend) I would expect her to act like a lady when she was in my company, and not flirt with other men while I was escorting her.

If she did flirt or come on to other men, I would not cause any scene or get angry with her in any way, at that time or later. I would just not see her again, and I would end any kind of relationship we had.

If she asked me why, I would explain the reason I was ending it, but I would not try to make her feel guilty, or insult her in any. I would simply say that I was upset with her behavior and I felt it was time to move on. No hard feelings.

Simple, still friends, no hard feelings, it's just me, next.

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I'd probably do the same thing. As an Alpha male, insecurity and jealousy are just not part of my vocabulary. Honestly. If a girl doesn't respect you enough to try and you jealous, then I am not sure if she is worth spending time with her. My ex-boricua that used to live in Spain did that to me once. Tried to make me feel jealous and see my reaction. I just walked out the club. She begged and begged but I didn't take her back. At times I wonder if I was too harsh on her

regardless she is gone and out of my life and I have had to move on. She was my favorite though.

reply to responses II

AZB said:

my opinion?
If a woman is slutty and acts cheap in public, tries to attract attention of other men while she is accompanied by her man? i guess the answer is simple. Is her man is also low life like her, he would get upset, get into a fight with her, make a scene in public and even slap her.
if he is a serious educated man, he will have a talk with her and make her understand what she is doing and will sort things out. If she doesn't change her outlook on her personal behavior, then she will be either let go or will be used to a motel girl for quick fix from time to time. Generally the women will let you know who they are: the serious girlfriend material or simply a cabana (motel) chick. I always try to measure the girl before going out with her. If she is a cheap barrio type and likes to show off her assets, then she will only go to a dark lit bar where no one knows me. She can play around with eye contact with any guy because in the end, she will only serve me for good night and then she will be forgotten like many others. This is how many dominican guys treat women who flirt around.
AZB

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Hi AZB, Thanks for reply and yes I see where you are coming from. If you have an ounce of class then there is certain things you don't do in public. My friend Manuel and his girlfriend have only what I can call a strange relationship which is not quite the same model as we use here in Europe. I am not trying to generalize and say that this doesn't happen in Europe as I haven't been all over Europe. It's just that it's rare behavior. let me just give you an example. Here in Bucks and Oxfordshire there is a club called Salsa bar (now known as River Bar). The other night there were some Dominicanas that had been in the UK for like 6 months ( i suspect some have overstayed their visas, but I could be wrong). Anyway Manuel was dancing around with all these other women (quite sexually suggestive actually) whilst his girlfriend was dancing alone or standing there in the corner by herself. I approached her and said jokingly that she shouldn't stand there alone we start dancing but when her boyfriend suddenly looked at her she stopped and said maybe next time.:ermm: Then he came over and was like you can't dance with my girl. I was like we are friends and what is his problem. He just walks away. Then he tells me sorry but he was alittle drunk and that I should come back to the club next time. I however have been so busy I don't have time to club no more. Has his girlfriend done the same thing and dance with other men in the club I am sure all hell would have broke loose.

Berzin said:

The problem with this is twofold. If you listen to some people who only deal with certain types of Dominicans, their point of view is going to be jaundiced and quite possibly corrupted by bad experiences.

You will never get a clear picture unless you travel there and mingle with the type of people you are looking to associate with.

Then you can make up your own mind. You can gather varying opinions, but that's all they will be-and guaranteed they will all contradict each other.

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Berzin, thanks for the reply. Yes I see what your saying. I just want to get opinions from other members and see if some of our thought processes are aleast similar.

response to alyonka

Alyonka said:

I think aggressive alpha males are the most insecure. My ex pushed me away from himself when he saw me talking at the gym to other people - men and women at the same time, actually. He said I was flirting, although I was just joking with people who were nice to me, that is all. I only came close to him to say hi - he pushed me away and did not speak with me for several weeks afterwards. :ermm:

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Sounds pretty bad. Did he have a reason to be jealous? Did he even explain later one?

I suspect my ex used to test me to see if I would get jealous. She did alot of things that she felt would provoke me. Like saying she is going out to meet her ex. I didn't alter a word. looking back maybe I should have reacted but I didn't. I would just tell her if I didn't like something and she would normally stop if she felt it was too much. other times she may just ignore me.

Male friends???

which reminds me...Let me digress from the current topic for a second. How do Dominicanos generally feel about their wives having male-friends?

Thanks

I mean do they even allow their wives or girlfriends to have malefriends or male amigos? I would have thought that in a macho culture like DR that wouldn't happen much.