New To Forum. Need a Reality check.

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mindfulhoney

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Apr 3, 2009
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I am a Dominicana who has been living in NYC since I was six years old. I am 27 now. I am educated and have a great job at a not for profit legal services organization in Tribeca.

My entire life I have avoided Dominican men. My father was a successful attorney in Santo Domingo who loved younger women and went on to marry 5 times and have 8 children with 5 different women. Needless to say that is the reason I have avoided dating Dominican men. My mother moved to NYC when I was six to get away from and get over him.

I was in Santo Domingo a few weeks ago visiting my dad who was hospitalized. When my half-sister who lives there and works in insurance introduced me to a man named C. At first I was not impressed and actually only went out because she dragged me out. We went to a live concert en la Zona Colonial, and a couple of other places (Feros Cafe?) including Coppa (filled with "working ladies" and many of them Brazilian) which apparently is the only after hours place in Santo Domingo.

To make a long story short I am smitten. He is 11 years older than me and has a very high level position in an international latin american insurace brokerage firm. He travels to the US (NYC, Miami) often. He has already offered to fly me back to Santo Domingo just to accompany him to events (concerts, functions). I always decline citing work committments.

The problem is that he is married, unhappily so according to him. I have never ever dated a married man and I haven't picked up his calls in three days.
He is very gentle in his approach and because I do not answer my phone sends me brief and sweet emails throughout the day.

This is just a recipe for disaster right?
 
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Alyonka

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Jun 3, 2006
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mindfulhoney said:
This is just a recipe for disaster right?
Click to expand...

You are exactly right. Run, run and run away from him. Don't waste any time on a married man - it is going to end very BAD in any case. Some married guys love seduction of young naive girls. They will never stop. Even if he leaves his wife and stays with you for a while - in several years he will do the same to you he has done to his wife. Run away. Good luck!
 
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AZB

Platinum
Jan 2, 2002
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she will pick up his phone and take him up on the offer. Its just a matter of time.
AZB
 
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corsair74

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Jul 3, 2006
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mindfulhoney said:
This is just a recipe for disaster right?
Click to expand...

Do you really need an answer for this? I think that you already know the answer. It has nothing at all to do with Dominican men, and everything to do with men who cheat on their wives.

I tell my sister, as well as my platonic female friends all of the time that men, especially older settled guys, hardly ever change simply because you marry/enter into a relationship with them. Accordingly, a man who is in the habit of cheating on his wife is not likely to be faithful to you either. And if they are successful and charming, they'll always be able to find young impressionable women to work their wiles upon. This has been true in every society and culture since the dawn of time.

Oh. I almost forgot. The chances of him leaving his wife and family for you are close to zero. Trust me, I know plenty of guys like this. It always plays out the same way. Leaving the wife and family is too much of a hassle, and possibly expensive. Better to just get a new girlfriend/mistress who doesn't mind being confined to that role. And there are plenty of those in his neck of the woods. Believe that.

There it is. You probably know all of this already. But I appreciate you posting on this slow Friday. I'm sure this thread will provide us all with much entertainment.:)

Vince.
 
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pedrochemical

Silver
Aug 22, 2008
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He is a dog - D.O.G. - dog.
Your are a woman - F.O.O.L. - woman.
Go for it. This is a match made in heaven.

Apart from that I think now we have have every combination of married, single, Domo, Yank, Man, Woman, Married, Single, Expat, Diaspora, chulo, Gringo, blah blah blah.

Let's get together and be alright!
 
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mindfulhoney

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Apr 3, 2009
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In my defense, I have not done anything with this man except dance and that was before I knew he was married. I said I was attracted to the married man not having an affair with him!
 
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AnnaC

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Jan 2, 2002
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mindfulhoney said:
In my defense, I have not done anything with this man except dance and that was before I knew he was married. I said I was attracted to the married man not having an affair with him!
Click to expand...

Ok dear so what is it that you really want to hear? Do you really need strangers to tell you what they think?

I've read right here on DR1 :cheeky: that a decent Dominican would never take a girl he respects out to a place where it's full of working girls. That might tell you that he doesn't respect you. Is he so sweet? That's because I'm sure he's had lots of practice. There's lots of good Dominican men out that so after waiting all these years why be remotely interested in this one.
 
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Malibook

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Jan 23, 2002
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www.yourtraveltickets.com
Nobody is claiming that he already nailed you.

You said you are smitten and you have never dated a married man.
You asked if this is a recipe for disaster.

The responses are based on you appearing to be considering it.
If you are not thinking about going for it, what is your point? :tired:
 
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Berzin

Banned
Nov 17, 2004
5,898
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You don't need a reality check. You are just a woman who doesn't respect boundaries and has more issues than a Latin American novela.

Either that or you are a sock puppet.

A more accessible person isn't good enough for you, so you try to make excuses for your neurotic behavior when what really attracts you is the fact that he is willing to jet-set you around for free.

You then qualify all this by saying these are the type of men you've tried to stay away from-successful, philandering, unattainable men-and want to blame it all on daddy because he behaved like a dog all his life.

So this guy takes you to a place full of cueros and has come to the conclusion that like other women he meets you too will facilitate his lower case Hugh Hefner lifestyle by being another in a long line of willing concubines.

And for what? So your self-fulfilling prophecy about Dominican men can come to fruition when he leaves you for a younger, more attractive woman?

Dr. Berzin recommends electro-shock therapy, a frontal lobotomy and a cool, refreshing glass of Jim Jone's Guyanese Fruit Punch Kool-Aid.
 
AlterEgo

AlterEgo

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Jan 9, 2009
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South Coast
First of all, I'll go out on a limb and say that your father is the exception rather than the rule when it comes to Dominican men - they don't usually have all those wives, it's usually a wife and all those mistresses. It's common for Dominican men - often no one raises a eyebrow - to have a mistress. Example - one of my husband's cousins is a General in DR. He has a beautiful, classy, well educated wife - I don't want to mention her career because it may identify them to some of you. There may have been other women through the years, I don't know, but from the beginning he's had a mistress with an entire second family. Everyone knows her. Both women were often pregnant at the same time. The children from both families grew up together. I've given up trying to distinguish which kids belong to which woman.
My point is that this is probably second nature to this man, and he may not even think there is anything wrong with it. Believe me, you don't want this relationship for so many reasons.
Anna C is correct - I've been married to a Dominican man for 32 years, and he'd never take me to any place like that, not now and not when we were 25. He doesn't respect you. Run, run, run, and don't look back.
 
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RGVgal

Bronze
May 26, 2008
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It seems to me that you are moving ahead with this affair. Why would you give your phone number/email address to a married man? This man does not respect you. He only wants to have sex with you and the minute you give up, he will move on to the next one. So, if you want to be used for sex in exchange for a couple of free trips from NYC to the DR go ahead and do it, but maybe you should set the price a little higher.
 
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mindfulhoney

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Apr 3, 2009
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Thanks for all your comments; My reality has been checked. OUCH! I guess you guys do not mince words here on DR1. LOL
 
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las2137

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Sep 1, 2008
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You may not have known he was married when you met him, which makes it worse-- it is a "relationship" (if you can call it that) based on a lie.

Focus on finding a high-level insurance executive in Tribeca! And when you're here again, avoid going out with your half-sister who takes you to working girl places. They aren't places were Dominican men go to meet nice women to have long-term relationship with.

best of luck...
 
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La Verdad

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Jan 4, 2009
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RGVgal said:
So, if you want to be used for sex in exchange for a couple of free trips from NYC to the DR go ahead and do it, but maybe you should set the price a little higher.
Click to expand...

We call that an "escort" or "call girl" in my country!

L V
 
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rsg

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Oct 21, 2008
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Why would your sister introduce you to a married man in the first place? You sound like a very smart lady to fall for the married but not happy stories from a dominican player. Why are you so impressed with this mans social status in the DR? A cheater is a cheater. What good qualitys do you find in a man who leaves his wife and family at home to run around with other women.

It is women like you who get involved with married men that makes it so easy for these men to cheat on their wives.Do you really think this dominican guy is leaving his wife for some ny chica he went to a concert and a few clubs with? You will just be another conquest of this higher class tigare.

What kind of advice did you expext to find here on DR1. Yea go ahead and start a affair with a married family man. Go have your cheap good time with another womens husband..You go girl.....

Did he give you your private cell phone so he can call you when he wants his action? You will just be his long distance beeper girl...
 
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mindfulhoney

New member
Apr 3, 2009
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Just to clarify:

I found out he was married after we exchanged information. (No wedding ring, looks younger than his age and was out with my sister her boyfriend and me until 3 AM) Excuse me for not automatically assuming that the man was married!

As for my sister, she did not know he was married either until I informed her.
 
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