Resume Samples...

[Criss Colon]

Thank You Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo MUCH!!!
Now would you post a website that sells good bread,
I need to make a sandwhich with your "S-P-A-M"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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[frank12]

I've sent out a lot of resumes over the years and have held positions from Cruise Ship Director to Monfort Slaughter house worker. i find this format works best...here's an example:

Frank The Cabarete Tank
Cabarete, Dominican Republic
(809) 867-5309
____________________________________


OBJECTIVE: My goal is to obtain the esteemed position of Bank President or Brothel Manager—possibly both—if the hours are not too long. I’m not looking for too much upward mobility simply because, well, I’m trying to avoid hardwork as much as possible and I don’t like responsibility--it makes me break out in a rash. I also find that it interferes with my time looking at girls on the beach. I’m a professional girl watcher; I have PHD in the field. However, I can utilize my skills learned from past employment where basically, I like to look very busy while the boss is around,but immediately take the mother of all cat-naps underneath my desk after he leaves. I find I’m more productive when I have my power nap in before noon.

EDUCATION: High School
Bonao, Dominican Republic
Graduated: Still working on it…almost there!

SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS
? Trilingual in two languages, but I can also talk in a secret language I perfected on donkeys and prostitutes.
? Excellent work history. I can sleep with my eyes wide open and look as if I’m giving you my full attention.
? Motivated, well organized and detailed-oriented as long as food, chocolate,or poontang is involved.
? Ability to work well with others and able to handle multiple tasks and projects simultaneously as long as I get my power nap in before noon.
? Good communication, written and customer service skills. I can feign looking busy.
? Ability to be on time with a good attendance record as long as money, chocolate or beaver is around.
? Computer programs: Facebook.com, Match.com, eHarmony.com,Christiandating,com, and nudist-camps.com.
? Point of Sales System(POS)

WORK EXPERIENCE:

Jose O’Shay’s: December 2006 – Current Employer
Glorified Dishwasher/TV Channel changer
This facility stores nutcases, eccentrics, mentally challenged, sexualdeviants, sexually desperate, and extraordinary cheap people from Quebec,Montreal, and Ohio. My responsibilities include, but are not limited to,selecting certifiably crazy, religious fundamentalists, UFO abductees, and sexually deprived Mormons—as well as stray dogs and donkeys—and patting them on the backand reassuring them that Armageddon and Rapture is not coming for them in theirlifetime, their children’s lifetime, or their grandchildren’s lifetime. Anotherpart of my job includes maintaining clean remote controls and organizing themfor the day to day operations.

Jose O’Shay’s: September 2006 – June 2008
Bartender & Glorified Psychologist
Face to face sales and customer service for people’s anxieties, relationship troubles,and tribulations. I was responsible for providing each new and returningcustomer with all the necessary information needed to make semi-educatedeveryday decisions and choices--which include, but are not limited to—finding thebest burger, best beer, best brothel, best beef nachos, and best girlfriend forone hour. This job required maintaining beer and girls in inventory and rotatingthe stock and making them as presentable as possible.

Bilingual Interpreter
Translating and interpreting services between Dominican working girls andoverweight, balding, retired customers from Germany, Quebec, and the Midwest,but especially the Ohio Valley. Duties included translating a variety of dialects and languages—including Aunt Jemima and Beaver whispering—as well asconsultations and mediation sessions. I’m also qualified to serve as aninterpreter between the ladies and the Johns. I can mediate and help negotiatea good win-win deal between both parties.

Fulfillment Coordinator
Fulfillment department coordinator and leader for overweight customers andl ocal girls. I can provide pick-up and delivery, as well as door to door sales,and advanced conditioning and cardio-vascular training.

In conclusion, feel free to contact me at your earliest convenience. I can be found sitting at the bar 7 days a week, 12 hours day, provided there is some sort of sporting event on television or topless girls sitting at the bar.

Sincerely, Frank-the-Cabarete-tank

 

[Carlos Thomas Murphy]

In all the time I have lived in the Dominican Republic, I was never asked for a resume CV or anything like it, I was either referred to work or a job by someone Political, or by people (Political connections) that knew Me and by reputation, AFAIK the classic or typical resume or CV is not so big in the Dominican work force, they don't hire that way, even if they require it, they will hire a Political first.

 

[mamichula613]

I am looking for two employees. one who has pharmacy knowledge and one to work in a small minimarket. the location is bavaro

 

[kaykat18987]

And don't forget to include a 2X2 photo with your CV. You may also simply print the photo on the top-left of the cover page.

I dont agree with the photo, you need to sell yourself with your education and knowledge and experiance. not with what you look like. unless it was a job that included some dancing and latex clothes

 

[Criss Colon]

No wonder you are unemployed!

ps., since the "OP" is from 2007, I think you are too late to help him!
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