Can YOU "Land" A Good Dominican?

[Lizzard]

oh boy!!

Let me get this straight:

Your husband, before you married him, left the DR on a yola and arrived in Puerto Rico illegally.

Then he entered the US illegally.

Then you guys met and you married him.

Then he left the US, back to the DR in 3 years, because he couldn't "hack it".

You go visit him 4-5 months out of the year because you have to work in the US.

You are building a house in Pimentel.

Well, where's the success story here?.

Maybe he is the nicest person alive but why didn't he stayed WITH HIS WIFE and work like dogs for a better life and THEN return to the DR, the both of you?.

Do you know what MOST married people do when their wives live in another country and they only see them for 4-5 months out of the year?.

Should I guess who's the one paying for the house you are building in Pimentel?.

Should I guess how much money you send him every time you get your hard-earned paycheck?.

Listen, if you don't see what's wrong with this picture, you are as blind as Stevie Wonder.

But I must add that you are NOT the only one doing this. I know of MANY people doing as you are.

What do you think happens to MOST foreigners and Dominican living abroad when they marry a Dominican in the DR?.

Since MOST marry "down", they end up paying for just about everything. Crap, I know of someone who even paid for the groom's tuxedo, his shoes and socks, the rings, the whole wedding, EVERYTHING. Shyt, even the Padre's "tip" was given by her.

And I am not even talking about the "I need this, I need that" AFTER the partner leaves to her/his country and leaves the spouse behind to work on their visas. After their visas, in MOST cases, then it's time to work on his/her kids visas too.

Oh well.

wow I can't believe your quote about the girl buying everything for her groom. I had a friend who did this exact same thing. Married a resort cook, 16 years her junior, he said all the right things apparently that she needed to hear. Personally her friends all tried to talk her out of marring him. But they married 6 yrs ago, First 1 child comes to Canada then the next. They stayed together here in Canada for the last 5 yrs or so. But now are divorced and he has moved on!! Surprise Surprise!!! Well some people needed to find this web site alot sooner. It is very imformative. Would have saved her a big headache and alot of money. Soo Sad. I have learned alot here thanks

 

[miguel]

Contra!

Nice try but your game of words won't twist anything that we are talking about here. If you are happy with your yolero, cafeteria cook than we are all happy for you, but please don't wish a person like him on anyone else. This is your choice and you have found good in a yolero than so be it. I hope others will find good in a person with some decent education who holds a more respectable job in life.
I understand there are many good people who are poor but you must agree with me that there are many good people who are not so poor. Is this a fair assessment to make?
I personally hope that if a person is presented with 2 choices: a man who is a yolero and a cook in some cafeteria and the other who is a bank manager and has a 4 yr college degree, both good men with high moral/ethical values (don't know if this holds true for a yolero), I hope the person would choose the latter. Now if one can only find good in poor uneducated person, then I guess this is where you belong. I wouldn't personally stop there, but move ahead in my search.
We all talk about how my wife is from a poor family, how she cleaned houses to make a living and now she is my wonderful wife. Then we hear the same people complain about how domincians don't save, live from day to day and how they think expats have unlimited income etc etc etc. The same story repeats itself when we hear women talk about their men: he is poor, worked in a farm, worked in a hotel, worked in a factory, selling tours etc etc. Then the same women talk about all the problems they have due to culture differances.

Now I thought this thread was about finding a different type of domincian, a dominican who doesn't fit the same mold that we were talking about for over a century. Now comes this woman who can't seem to stop admiring her husband who went to USA in a yola illegally. Some introduction, hahahaha.
Then she tries to fool us by pretending to believe that if you marry a guy who holds a better social status in society is only for monetary gain.
Nice try lady, but sorry, no cigar for you.
I personally know egual number of nice decent folks who are rich and humble as folks who are poor, broke and humble. So tell me this, which is a better catch? Tell me this, with what type of people do you feel more comfortable with? A yolero or a educated lawyer with some style and intellects?
I guess the answer would be obvious if you are a truck driver from Alabama, however, please don't make the same assumptions for everyone else.
I am not being snobbish, I am being realistic. Now if you are happy with your man, then more power to you but please, do not put your man in the same level as the men we are talking about, who went to university and struggled to get ahead in life in a more traditional manner.
AZB

VERY nicely said.

One of these days, SOME of these people WILL know the difference!.

Man, if you keep it up, I will have to STOP saying that all you do is "talk out of your axx". Hahaha!.

 

[Berzin]

This is all fine and dandy, AZB...

but the fact of the matter is that anyone living a bachelor lifestyle after the age of 40 is a person that I would'nt take advice from about finding a mate. Because quite frankly, what in the world would this person know about finding and keeping a good woman and raising a family? Absolutely nothing.

I guess in the DR you don't need big pockets to live a swinger lifestyle, but it does not prepare you for the sacrifices and commitment needed to get and keep a wife and raise relatively well-adjusted children. This lifestlye will prepare you with a short fuse for anything you don't like because you already know that you can just go outside and get another girl if your current mate annoys you. This is great within its context, but it will guarantee you a lifetime of failed relationships.

After a certain age the Hugh Hefner thing is just pathetic, regardless of how many middle-aged viagra-sucking "despues de viejo" gringos flock to the DR to find their true loves and think that a womans' youth and beauty is their ticket to the fountain of youth.

The fact of the matter is that if the DR were full of the opportunities you speak about for those who sacrifice and work hard, well, it would'nt be the third-world craphole it is for so many of its citizens.

You can work hard, be humble, educate yourself and try to get ahead and still come up craps. That is the reality of the DR. So finding someone educated with a good job on the island is not impossible, but those are not the type of girls that will give an older, unattractive tourist the time of day, and these are the men that make up the majority of the ones who want to find a dominican wife.

So let them go and try to buy something(love)that cannot be bought. And let it hit them in the face once its' over. It does'nt matter to me and it should'nt matter to you either.

 

[planner]

But the whole point of this thread is not to talk about those cases - not to discuss AGAIN the sankies, the "working girls' etc. It was about a different kind of relationship.

One of the easiest ways to look at this is: is this a person or the type of person I would consider as a partner if I lived back in ______? Fill in the blank. For us women, would you date a bartender or busperson if you lived in the US? Would you date a man who was jobless? Would you date a man with a grade 3 education? Would you date or marry a man with children from 3 other women? Would you date or marry a man who still lived with his mother after the age of 40?

If the answer is yes, then carry on. If the answer is no then take a look around.

For the men - same issues apply folks! Yes it is more acceptable for men to have trophy wives etc etc etc. But, the same tests can be applied. Do you want a relationship with a woman with no education? Who can't read or write? Who can't discuss issues? You know eventually you do have to get out of bed.

This thread was about how to meet members of the opposite sex that can stand up to a higher test or standard. At least that is what I thought.

 

[AZB]

but the fact of the matter is that anyone living a bachelor lifestyle after the age of 40 is a person that I would'nt take advice from about finding a mate. Because quite frankly, what in the world would this person know about finding and keeping a good woman and raising a family? Absolutely nothing.

I guess in the DR you don't need big pockets to live a swinger lifestyle, but it does not prepare you for the sacrifices and commitment needed to get and keep a wife and raise relatively well-adjusted children. This lifestlye will prepare you with a short fuse for anything you don't like because you already know that you can just go outside and get another girl if your current mate annoys you. This is great within its context, but it will guarantee you a lifetime of failed relationships.

After a certain age the Hugh Hefner thing is just pathetic, regardless of how many middle-aged viagra-sucking "despues de viejo" gringos flock to the DR to find their true loves and think that a womans' youth and beauty is their ticket to the fountain of youth.

The fact of the matter is that if the DR were full of the opportunities you speak about for those who sacrifice and work hard, well, it would'nt be the third-world craphole it is for so many of its citizens.

You can work hard, be humble, educate yourself and try to get ahead and still come up craps. That is the reality of the DR. So finding someone educated with a good job on the island is not impossible, but those are not the type of girls that will give an older, unattractive tourist the time of day, and these are the men that make up the majority of the ones who want to find a dominican wife.

So let them go and try to buy something(love)that cannot be bought. And let it hit them in the face once its' over. It does'nt matter to me and it should'nt matter to you either.

I guess some people are bent on staying with the ghetto folks of any country.
You maybe right in the case of older men / women seeking younger mates but my friend there is an increasing number of younger men/ women who are also settling down with the trash of this island. Maybe you should get out of sosua to see this all. nevermind, we have had this discussion many times and I see that you always defend the barrio hookers. If thats your flavor, then so be it.

Now about long lasting relationships:
What makes you think I don't have a long term relationship going with someone? Need me to remind you that my formal girlfriend of past 3 yrs is a medical doctor and from a very good family. She will turn 27 yrs old this 12th.
Now you only seem to concentrate on my daily adventures but I do have my girl and she is not your type (meaning some barrio girl from some shack in sosua). She travels to USA frequently and has her own car. She is also very good looking and intelligent. Just so happens, I am a few steps ahead of her.
Some Dr1 members have met her more than once.
Now if I can meet someone like this, so can many others.
AZB

 

[Malibook]

I hope others will find good in a person with some decent education who holds a more respectable job in life.
AZB

You are contradicting yourself.

You often claim that foreign women can't compete with the Dominicanas but now you are knocking one for not competing with the Dominicanas.

How can one be expected to land a "good" Dominican if one can't compete with the Dominicanas?:ermm:

 

[AZB]

I see some poeple will never get it.

You are contradicting yourself.

You often claim that foreign women can't compete with the Dominicanas but now you are knocking one for not competing with the Dominicanas.

How can one be expected to land a "good" Dominican if one can't compete with the Dominicanas?:ermm:

Its not a difficult concept to understand yet I see you people need more explanation.

yes, some people can't but others can. All you have to do is change your outlook towards life. do what romans do. if you are a western woman and want to compete with dominicanas then get into the game. learn how to dress well, learn the language, fix your hair, wear heels, learn how to talk like sweet women, learn to respect men around you, accept that you are a woman and not a man, join the gym and become slim. learn to dance well and most of all, be sexy and approachable. if you do all this, then you have a good chance. Now I do understand there are some older fat ladies out there who are not willing to go through all this. don't worry, we do have sankies for you waiting at resorts.
All I am saying is that I do see some hot looking north american young women in the arms of resort jobless losers. The same holds true for some well in shape young NA guys who are engaged to putas from barrios.
these people can do much better than that.
AZB

 

[Alyonka]

"sexy and approachable"

Wouln't people around you start thinking wrong things about you, like you are an "easy" type???

 

[miguel]

Wowww!.

But the whole point of this thread is not to talk about those cases - not to discuss AGAIN the sankies, the "working girls' etc. It was about a different kind of relationship.

One of the easiest ways to look at this is: is this a person or the type of person I would consider as a partner if I lived back in ______? Fill in the blank. For us women, would you date a bartender or busperson if you lived in the US? Would you date a man who was jobless? Would you date a man with a grade 3 education? Would you date or marry a man with children from 3 other women? Would you date or marry a man who still lived with his mother after the age of 40?

If the answer is yes, then carry on. If the answer is no then take a look around.

For the men - same issues apply folks! Yes it is more acceptable for men to have trophy wives etc etc etc. But, the same tests can be applied. Do you want a relationship with a woman with no education? Who can't read or write? Who can't discuss issues? You know eventually you do have to get out of bed.

This thread was about how to meet members of the opposite sex that can stand up to a higher test or standard. At least that is what I thought.

You are absolutamente CORRECTTOMUNDO!.

On the second paragraph, it says what this thread was all about:

"A SERIOUS AND MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP WITH A DOMINICAN".

Lizzard:

That is nothing new. MOST foreigners end up paying for most, if not all of the wedding expenses. They have to and it's expected. Because as I said before, MOST marry "down".

 

[AZB]

Wouln't people around you start thinking wrong things about you, like you are an "easy" type???

I see, some people have no clue.
I think I am wasting my time here giving you guys a lesson on meeting decent dominican folks. Why not simply get out of your shell and try it. Its really not that complicated.
I have feeling the a lot of folks in DR1 are logged in from Omaha, or nebraska. they have no clue about life.
AZB

 

[Berzin]

I guess some people are bent on staying with the ghetto folks of any country.
You maybe right in the case of older men / women seeking younger mates but my friend there is an increasing number of younger men/ women who are also settling down with the trash of this island. Maybe you should get out of sosua to see this all. nevermind, we have had this discussion many times and I see that you always defend the barrio hookers. If thats your flavor, then so be it.

Now about long lasting relationships:
What makes you think I don't have a long term relationship going with someone? Need me to remind you that my formal girlfriend of past 3 yrs is a medical doctor and from a very good family. She will turn 27 yrs old this 12th.
Now you only seem to concentrate on my daily adventures but I do have my girl and she is not your type (meaning some barrio girl from some shack in sosua). She travels to USA frequently and has her own car. She is also very good looking and intelligent. Just so happens, I am a few steps ahead of her.
Some Dr1 members have met her more than once.
Now if I can meet someone like this, so can many others.
AZB

Well, I have'nt been to Sosua in quite some time and have not chased hookers in quite a while, not that its' anyones' business. I have met people of all types that constitute the full range of dominican life and have a much better understanding of what makes them tick.

Your assumptions about me never leaving Sosua are so far off the mark its' pathetic. But I see that when someone runs out of things to say they just settle on repeating the same comments over and over again.

And like I suspected, you may be in what you consider a long-term relationship but if you are seeing other girls on the side for kicks then you my friend cannot comment on what makes a momogomous relationship work. If your girlfriend is willing to put up with that type of nonsense from you then what type of relationship is that?

 

[bienamor]

Small Correction

I see, some people have no clue.
I think I am wasting my time here giving you guys a lesson on meeting decent dominican folks. Why not simply get out of your shell and try it. Its really not that complicated.
I have feeling the a lot of folks in DR1 are logged in from Omaha, or nebraska. they have no clue about life.
AZB

I have feeling the a lot of folks in DR1 are logged in from Omaha, or nebraska. they have no clue about life.

Say what? Omaha is in Nebraska, so whats your point, most of the people your talking about are not from the Heartland, they are from the big city, where god knows they are much smarter than middle america or pakistan.

Your problem with decent dominican folks is that all you seem to think about is the elite upper class. Just because the person does not have an SUV and live in Arroyo Hondo, does not mean they are not decent, Agree with Miguel that most marry down, but some do go across, just that across here is not the elite such as the Barcelo Family, or groupo Leon.
As a matter of fact the Jevitos here in Santo Domingo normally show little or no class when they get together, other than they think that due to the familys status they can get away with anything, Remember this

?Jevitos? arrested for racing on Abraham Lincoln Avenue
On Friday, police arrested 16 ?jevitos?: kids who take over Abraham Lincoln Avenue for drag races late in the evening, especially on weekends. Another six boys, most driving their parents luxury vehicles, were arrested on Saturday.
Chief of Police Pedro de Jesus Candelier said that he hopes the courts will set an example so that the sons of the wealthy stop the practice. Also the sex pictures on the top of the Jeep!
Yep what to take my example from these folks.

 

[AZB]

Well, I have'nt been to Sosua in quite some time and have not chased hookers in quite a while, not that its' anyones' business. I have met people of all types that constitute the full range of dominican life and have a much better understanding of what makes them tick.

Your assumptions about me never leaving Sosua are so far off the mark its' pathetic. But I see that when someone runs out of things to say they just settle on repeating the same comments over and over again.

And like I suspected, you may be in what you consider a long-term relationship but if you are seeing other girls on the side for kicks then you my friend cannot comment on what makes a momogomous relationship work. If your girlfriend is willing to put up with that type of nonsense from you then what type of relationship is that?

If you really have met such a broad range of domincians then why is it so difficult for you to understand what I am saying here? You always seem to stick in the poverty culture of this country in every one of your posts. Where do you hang out, in the slums of any country that you visit? I would like to see some pictures of you with the dominican folks that you hang out with. This would be interesting to see. I mean, you always seem to know folks who ask for money from strangers, girls who have 3 babies from 3 different dads, live in wooden shack in some off beaten road, dominicans who see you as a rich foreigner etc etc. Maybe you need to come where I live, I bet you will be the pooerest one among the group. I bet most will have nicer cars than you have and live in much better houses than you do. I know I know, you will interject that this is like .00001 % of this country. Hahahahaha, this makes me laugh at anytime when I read this.
I thinks its about time you leave the campos and small towns and come to play in the big fields. Come to santiago and let me introduce you to some folks and lets see if you could impress them with your knowledge of this country.
Lets get back to topic on how to land a good dominican. not necessarily a yolero or some jobless jose from boca chica.
AZB
P.S. My GF doesn't know I enjoy mini adventures on the side. Like I said, I am a few steps ahead of her in the game.

 

[AZB]

I have feeling the a lot of folks in DR1 are logged in from Omaha, or nebraska. they have no clue about life.

Say what? Omaha is in Nebraska, so whats your point, most of the people your talking about are not from the Heartland, they are from the big city, where god knows they are much smarter than middle america or pakistan.

Your problem with decent dominican folks is that all you seem to think about is the elite upper class. Just because the person does not have an SUV and live in Arroyo Hondo, does not mean they are not decent, Agree with Miguel that most marry down, but some do go across, just that across here is not the elite such as the Barcelo Family, or groupo Leon.
As a matter of fact the Jevitos here in Santo Domingo normally show little or no class when they get together, other than they think that due to the familys status they can get away with anything, Remember this

?Jevitos? arrested for racing on Abraham Lincoln Avenue
On Friday, police arrested 16 ?jevitos?: kids who take over Abraham Lincoln Avenue for drag races late in the evening, especially on weekends. Another six boys, most driving their parents luxury vehicles, were arrested on Saturday.
Chief of Police Pedro de Jesus Candelier said that he hopes the courts will set an example so that the sons of the wealthy stop the practice. Also the sex pictures on the top of the Jeep!
Yep what to take my example from these folks.

Omaha is in Nebraska and I knew that "or" was injected in there by mistake. I meant to say, Omaha, nebraska".
By the way, why do you instantly think I am talking about the elite class? Do you think a person who lives in a nice house and drives a late model car is only from lama or leon Jimenez family? I see you haven't discovered the huge middle class of this country. Thats ok, you are not alone here.
So lets see, there are only 98% dirt poor people in this country and 2 % elite class and zero Middle class. I see you know this country really well. If you are a dominican then you maybe from a barrio here and grew up in USA.
I mean, I am tired of talking about middle class folks in this country and to dummies, it sounds like elite class. I give up.
Please go find some nice decent poor class folks and then complain about their daily habbits. I have come to conclusion, some people are just destined to stay with the poor folks in this country.
This reminds me of an american who was talking trash about this country in presence of my friends carlos. carlos is from a well to do family and lives very well. The american was talling how poor the dominicans are, 98% this and that and blah blah blah. He sounded like some of you experts from Nebraska. I asked carlos, why don't you say something to him?
Carlos said, "why bother, he is stupid".
This summed up everything in my mind.
Please continue talking about how to land a poor uneducated jobless dominican who maybe very sincere from the heart.
AZB

 

[Alyonka]

What is wrong with Nebraska? I have not been there yet, spent most of my US life in DC area, have never met poor uneducated Dominicans either, it is not like they don't exist ... Is not a problem to meet people, most of the difficulties start when you actually get to know them. AZB, your life would probably not be so happy if your gf found out about your "little adventures" on the side if you care about her of course ...

 

[Berzin]

AZB, your life would probably not be so happy if your gf found out about your "little adventures" on the side if you care about her of course ...[/QUOTE]

This is how you treat a fine dominican lady from the upper crust of society.

 

[AZB]

AZB, your life would probably not be so happy if your gf found out about your "little adventures" on the side if you care about her of course ...

This is how you treat a fine dominican lady from the upper crust of society.[/QUOTE]

Yes, you got that right and I hope she will never find out.
If I wanted to be monogomos I would have stayed in USA and be unhappily married to a fatso from pakistan just like the rest of my friends.
AZB

 

[Berzin]

This is how you treat a fine dominican lady from the upper crust of society.

Yes, you got that right and I hope she will never find out.
If I wanted to be monogomos I would have stayed in USA and be unhappily married to a fatso from pakistan just like the rest of my friends.
AZB[/QUOTE]

As I suppose this woman would be just as unhappily married to you. It's nice though that you've found your niche in a desperately poor, incredibly corrupt third-world country because you definitely could not womanize and be such an elitist snob anywhere else. They have real sultans in Pakistan, not posers who just play one on the internet.

 

[miguel]

Ay papa'!

As I suppose this woman would be just as unhappily married to you. It's nice though that you've found your niche in a desperately poor, incredibly corrupt third-world country because you definitely could not womanize and be such an elitist snob anywhere else. They have real sultans in Pakistan, not posers who just play one on the internet.

Fighting words!.

Berzin, you gotta give it to the guy, he has A LOT of great points and A LOT of knowledge in meeting a decent and educated Dominican.

Also, I do believe that even if a person decides to "play the field" even when at his 30's, 40's or even 50's, he can know about the difference between a good Dominican and a bad Dominican.

Not wanting to settle down doesn't mean that he is blind to what's happening around him.

 

[shadInToronto]

Visitors don't have time ...

To look for a "Good Dominican" and the majority of people going to the DR are visitors. A typical NA or European gets about 4 weeks vacation annually and probably is allowed to take about 1 - 2 weeks off at a time, therefore, the maximum time they're there is 7 - 14 days!!!. In the 1 - 2 weeks in the DR, that person is more than likely spending a couple of days "winding down/doing nothing", another couple on the beach, in Santiago, POP, Sosua, .... etc. leaving 3 - 10 days to find and court a "good Dominican".

It is highly unlikely that a "good Dominican" woul be interested in developing a relationship with someone who can only be in the DR around 28 days annually, perhaps 2 - 4 times!!! No relationship can develop in that short time frame, so the only choices available are (a) take time off work and spend time in the DR until you've found your mate or give up searching, or (b) stick to putas and chopos for instant satisfaction and keep returning 2 - 4 times per year. All good advice offeded here are useless to these people :glasses: