Politeness or the lack thereof is celebrated or perceived differently everywhere. It also changes (usually perceived as being lost or getting worse) with times changing.
I for one, have stopped holding the door for any Dominican or Dominicana under the age of 80. All you get is either nothing or a look of superiority like they'd like to believe that they got you for that one PLUS a procession of other would be
tigueres and
tigueras who follow and squeeze by like you have become their door
chopo, but almost NEVER a "thank you"! The last one who did that got the kiss the door and I decided I was not holding the door for anyone anymore (except exception listed above). And no, it's not just barrio people, actually it's much worse with the would-be "upper class". Ignorant arrogance is not the same as arrogant ignorance! :bunny:
The same thing holds true for ceding the right of way to a pedestrian or other participant of the roadside mess. It's apparently being perceived as a sign of weakness. I don't do it anymore unless it favors me in the end effect or again it is a person of 80 + years old.
Some families, interestingly enough, very rural and poor families still do use "
Usted" instead of "
tu" to address parents and grand parents. I've seen more of that in South America.
Just as my cleaning lady addresses me by my first name (as I insisted) but by "
Usted", I address her with "
Usted" too. I know she appreciates that.
On the other hand, as many "
co?os" one gets to hear around here, other offensive speech is often not welcome at all, frown uppon... even in the barrios.
Two days ago a 17 year old barrio girls/woman... who is not of the "finest" surprised me by asking me what "
hijo de puta" meant!?!?! Obviously she had not traveled to Spain yet
. The culprit was the nonresistance of the word "
puta" in her limited vocabulary, a void conveniently replaced with the word "cuero"... you can't make sound "
hijo de cuero" sound right, now can you? And then, what would be so offensive about it, in a (some) barrio where 75% of the growing population technically is just that... "
y que?"
People are generally soft spoken in most parts of Latin America and tend to use nicer forms to craft their sentences than you would experience it in most of Spain today. One more reason why Spaniards have a reputation of being rude and disrespectful in most Latin America.
Breaking waiting lines with "
tigueraje", like ignoring the mere existence of the line of people waiting for their turns or trying to interject an oh so creative "
solo una preguntita...", while too common, IS considered RUDE. But many don't do much more than mumble half silently until the "line" has had it because of clerks are unable to have the order of turns respected and the what was left of any organization just crumbles.
In Ecuador I once sent the Bishop and 6 nuns he tried to sneak thru in front of a waiting line to catch a flight out of the terminal. People, recognizing he was THE BISHOP only silently protested... I thought it was just an arrogant "padre" (what do I know?) but had he been dressed like the Pope, I had done the same. I told my in-laws and after I described the "padrisito" they almost fell of their charis "
aiiii nooo, el Arzobispo"! I didn't care. I still don't, arrogant "
padresito" or arrogant Bishop? Take your turn and respect mine! I will not be polite about it. And some
sinverguenzas here have had to take notice too.
What's so polite about "
yo MAS primero!" or "
ai, y habia que cojer numeroooo?" ? To the "
ai, no sabia que "ellos" estaban haciendo fila"-comment I usually just answer "
no, como va ser, NOSOTROS solo estamos aqui de DECORACION, mire, que hasta han mandado a traer un gringo para que sea vea mas bonito!"
This usually gets the whole crowd laughing and the "
tiguere/a" is left with nothing but either leave "offendido" or take it's turn at the far back end of the
cola.
It goes to show, that politeness is just a from. It can be a nice form, but often it's just hypocrisy. Men hold the doors for young and pretty women or known ladies, preferably. It's called chivalry. But sadly, the ugly, old and fat... don't get to see much of it ever.
No they are not more polite than any other culture I have met, they are just still polite in things "we" aren't (anymore) but then they lack the most basic sense of respecting others' liberties and
derechos on other issues.
Hate to love'em / love to hate'em, one can only try to make the best out of it and navigate past the not so nice moments and adapt so not to offend accidentally/unwillingly.
... J-D.