I should make all potential subjects aware of upcoming Poobian Dictates that will be outlined in my Coronation speech, to wit:
-All styrofoam containers that in the remotest imagination could be used for food or drink packaging will be permanently banned. First time offenders will be required to totally clean a designated 4000m2 lot and must pass the close scrutiny of one of my Environmental Inspectors. Second offense will be a 16,000m2 area, third a 64,000m2 area, etc. The entire country will be styrofoam container free by December.
-All bags used by any commercial outlet shall be of material that decomposes within 30 days. The penalties will the same as above.
-All glass bottles must be purchased from the Central Poohbah for RD$100ea. No exceptions. The Central Poobah will pay RD$75 each for their return. That will take care of strewn bottles by next week.
-All cell and wireless innerweb providers will guarantee their coverage maps are 100% accurate. If 3 consumer complaints are received by the Central Poohbah prove to be accurate, all cell/innerweb provider employees with a salary above RD$50,000, without exceptions, will be subject to the clean-up penalty above.
-Beef more than 90% lean is banned. The penalty will be to eat the entire lot.
-A Central Poohbah Litter Patrol will be formed. The fines for littering will start at RD$500 and quadruple for each subsequent offense. Litter Patrol Agents will be paid on commission: 20% of the fines levied. I envision aggressive competition for the jobs.
-Elected or appointed officials will be summarily executed upon conviction of taking any consideration in their line of duty not authorised, in advance, in writing my me. I am subject to this dictate.
This will be a start.
Additionally, I will be interviewing for newly created Ministry positions, such Ministries to be announced later.
To apply, please offer what Ministry Position you would form and the specifics of your proclamations to make Quisqueya a better place.
The floor is now open for Ministry applications.
:classic:
Proceed.
-All styrofoam containers that in the remotest imagination could be used for food or drink packaging will be permanently banned. First time offenders will be required to totally clean a designated 4000m2 lot and must pass the close scrutiny of one of my Environmental Inspectors. Second offense will be a 16,000m2 area, third a 64,000m2 area, etc. The entire country will be styrofoam container free by December.
-All bags used by any commercial outlet shall be of material that decomposes within 30 days. The penalties will the same as above.
-All glass bottles must be purchased from the Central Poohbah for RD$100ea. No exceptions. The Central Poobah will pay RD$75 each for their return. That will take care of strewn bottles by next week.
-All cell and wireless innerweb providers will guarantee their coverage maps are 100% accurate. If 3 consumer complaints are received by the Central Poohbah prove to be accurate, all cell/innerweb provider employees with a salary above RD$50,000, without exceptions, will be subject to the clean-up penalty above.
-Beef more than 90% lean is banned. The penalty will be to eat the entire lot.
-A Central Poohbah Litter Patrol will be formed. The fines for littering will start at RD$500 and quadruple for each subsequent offense. Litter Patrol Agents will be paid on commission: 20% of the fines levied. I envision aggressive competition for the jobs.
-Elected or appointed officials will be summarily executed upon conviction of taking any consideration in their line of duty not authorised, in advance, in writing my me. I am subject to this dictate.
This will be a start.
Additionally, I will be interviewing for newly created Ministry positions, such Ministries to be announced later.
To apply, please offer what Ministry Position you would form and the specifics of your proclamations to make Quisqueya a better place.
The floor is now open for Ministry applications.
:classic:
Proceed.