Ok... So my personal saga has ended, finally, but I am curious to know one thing. When one is dating a dominican man, how do you know if you are the main girlfriend or the side piece? I had previously read that dominican women understand that dominican men cheat, and they are "ok" with it, provided they are the main girlfriend. So how do they know if they are the main girlfriend or not? I am asking real dominicans this question.
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main girlfriend or side piece?
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If my lass found out I'd been with another women, she would chop my nuts off and leave me. All Dominican women don't accept this.
On the other hand I have alot of Dominican Male friends around the late 20's to early 40's age and they do go out with certain intentions and do score those intentions on a regular basis, maybe those women do accept it as it is good to have a Dominican man who pays the bills and looks after his family. Women are cheap here on a purely sexual basis, it is easy for a guy to have several girls at his call for the luxury of a meal out or a new dress, 500 pesos down the casino. Young women don't have money and the older Dominican men have the need for younger women.
Personally I can't get my head around it, women at home with the kids and playing away, seems very immature to me.
I'd say if in doubt then the reality probably isn't good news and if you fear him straying then get someone who you are sure will appreciate you.
This is why it is important for both of you to be in the same ballpark on so many levels, if he has all the cash then he holds the cards and feel he has the right to do as he pleases and you will be there, no matter what. The same if he is so much better looking than you, you are batting out of your league etc etc etc.
Good luck!!
On the other hand I have alot of Dominican Male friends around the late 20's to early 40's age and they do go out with certain intentions and do score those intentions on a regular basis, maybe those women do accept it as it is good to have a Dominican man who pays the bills and looks after his family. Women are cheap here on a purely sexual basis, it is easy for a guy to have several girls at his call for the luxury of a meal out or a new dress, 500 pesos down the casino. Young women don't have money and the older Dominican men have the need for younger women.
Personally I can't get my head around it, women at home with the kids and playing away, seems very immature to me.
I'd say if in doubt then the reality probably isn't good news and if you fear him straying then get someone who you are sure will appreciate you.
This is why it is important for both of you to be in the same ballpark on so many levels, if he has all the cash then he holds the cards and feel he has the right to do as he pleases and you will be there, no matter what. The same if he is so much better looking than you, you are batting out of your league etc etc etc.
Good luck!!
Well I am personally more curious at this point. Me and my dominican are over now. I had enough of the games and uncertainty, and I know I can do better. 
but I am looking more for signs, behaviors, etc., that show someone they are the "main focus". Honestly, I don't know why any man needs to have multiple woman, especially in your late 30's. And, why woman really stay with these men. I understand how hard it is at first, I was there, believed everything that was said and fell each time I was with him. But the lack of communication when we were apart was frustrating. As was the lack of making plans, and of course, the later learning he had time to go out with a married woman while I was in my own home alone. (He is not married toi her) it was all a game and a very good game for the most part. So my question was really out of additional educational curiosity. I have to admit I would love to meet a good Latin one day, there are many things I love about the culture and family ties... But I don't want to get dupped again.
but I am looking more for signs, behaviors, etc., that show someone they are the "main focus". Honestly, I don't know why any man needs to have multiple woman, especially in your late 30's. And, why woman really stay with these men. I understand how hard it is at first, I was there, believed everything that was said and fell each time I was with him. But the lack of communication when we were apart was frustrating. As was the lack of making plans, and of course, the later learning he had time to go out with a married woman while I was in my own home alone. (He is not married toi her) it was all a game and a very good game for the most part. So my question was really out of additional educational curiosity. I have to admit I would love to meet a good Latin one day, there are many things I love about the culture and family ties... But I don't want to get dupped again.1. how much time he spends with you (and important time, eg with his mother and you on mothers day, christmas, etc)
2. what your friends say who know him well. if you are foreign you have a big disadvantage here, dominicans know what everyone does
2. what your friends say who know him well. if you are foreign you have a big disadvantage here, dominicans know what everyone does
Well I am personally more curious at this point. Me and my dominican are over now. I had enough of the games and uncertainty, and I know I can do better.
If you want to continue dating latino men you have to learn to live with it. 99.9999 % will mess around a little.
I like the phrase "mess around a little"
Now how would I do that? -
It somehow sounds trivial..
First thing, referring to my ex, I am american and he is a us citizen. We both live in our own place, but I would spend more time at his place. He never would really show "jealousy", but used to ask a lot of questions and ask if I found someone else. He would find it "entertaining" or funny that most of the males we knew would talk about me and/or compliment me to him... A couple of times he advised them we were together when this would happen, but again, I'm not with him anymore. I am looking for future signs I guess.
His entire family is in the DR, so when I was with him, it was just him. We first did a lot together, he took me places, and we had fun. But then out of nowhere, that ended. He was mostly working, even weekends (and yes, I know this for sure) so our time together dwindled down to one night a week, mostly late night, after work. However, he had started working less and didn't pick up more time with me, so I drifted. (Meaning slowly stopped caring.) The only people we mutually knew were coworkers and he was pretty secretive about his personal life. I had attempted to confront him many times about it all and he just told me I was too stressful, but loved me and didn't want to loose me. After awhile, I had enough. Actions speak louder then words, no matter what culture. So, moving forward, one of the signs I will look for right away is social/public exposure with the guy, I guess.
Admit it your stil with this dude arnt you, and yes ur just the booty call, and as far as dominican women exepting this, i never heard of that, a dominican chic would cut off his *****, i have a dominican girl and in my life time i learned they are the most jelous women arround, well also Puertorican chicks,i still do cheat but not in the same area code too risky.
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Santex,
A few years ago my husband and I met a Dominican couple. We were often out at the same places and got to know them/chat over drinks....always had a great evening out.
One day we ran into the guy (alone) at the supermarket and he invited us to his house the next night for a little party. We accepted.
When we arrived, it was the same guy but it wasn't the girl that we had met each time we were out. It was his wife and 2 small children.
I have never been so uncomfortable in my life. We pretty much left as soon as it was polite to do so. I have no idea if the wife knew about the girlfriend....they seemed like a real couple to me.
I guess I have to agree if they are good at their game, you may never know!
A few years ago my husband and I met a Dominican couple. We were often out at the same places and got to know them/chat over drinks....always had a great evening out.
One day we ran into the guy (alone) at the supermarket and he invited us to his house the next night for a little party. We accepted.
When we arrived, it was the same guy but it wasn't the girl that we had met each time we were out. It was his wife and 2 small children.
I have never been so uncomfortable in my life. We pretty much left as soon as it was polite to do so. I have no idea if the wife knew about the girlfriend....they seemed like a real couple to me.
I guess I have to agree if they are good at their game, you may never know!
No, I am not with him anymore. The thoughts of his potential cheating (although never proven) still burn me up inside, but there are plenty of men out there, and I am an attractive woman, so I am not worried about that. But I do not want to be played again. AND I don't want to "rule out" all Latinos because my only experience, and recent, ended up being painful. He was very loving and open with his words at first. I was given his time and attention, and then, practically nothing. I still do not know why he dragged it out so long. I did not just sit by and let him do what he wanted, I always confronted him, but he turned it so that I was the crazy one. I finally had enough, and it felt good to finally completely tell him to F@ck off. But again, I was hoping to get some info on "signs" or behaviors so I had a better handle on it next time, if there is a next time with a latin man. This was my first experience dating a latin, and my first "man" after a marriage... So maybe I deserved the lesson... But I never want to go through it again, and I don't want to label all men based off of this experience. I appreciate all of your feedback...
When a true player knows how to play the game, you will NEVER know!
well said. I hope your quest isn't to be called "the main" woman. ask your original question in front of the mirror.... with a straight face....
It's the same as occasionally getting a little on the side
When you meet someone that's hot and available, you make your move.
It should be trivial if you love and want to keep your "Main Woman".
It should be trivial if you love and want to keep your "Main Woman".[/QUOTE]
WOW, what triviality!!!! or BS....
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