I am new to the country and my "it's complicated" boyfriend's grandmother just passed away last week. I couldn't make it to the burial but his mother says I must go to the 9th day thing(for lack of a better word). I have no idea what to wear. What is custom for this type of thing? His sister says black and/or white.. I feel all my clothes are too flashy though. Does it matter??? I hear it is more like a celebration at this point anyway.. Any and all help will be greatly appreciated