A Blonde's Year in Review

ENJOY - A Blonde's Year in Review


January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.


February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....
Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer!!!


March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....
Box said ' 2-4 years!'


April
Trapped on escalator for hours ...
Power went out!!!


May
Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....
8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!


June
Tried to go water skiing.......
Couldn't find a lake with a slope.


July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....
Learned later that the other swimmers cheated- they used their arms!!!


August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....
Darn car filled up with water because convertible top was open.


September
The capital of California is 'C'.....isn't it???


October
Hate M & M's.....They are so hard to peel.


November
Baked Thanksgiving turkey for 4 1/2 days ...
Instructions said bake 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!


December


Couldn't call 911.
'Duh'.....there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone!!!

THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR

ENJOY - A Blonde's Year in Review


January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.


February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....
Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer!!!


March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....
Box said ' 2-4 years!'


April
Trapped on escalator for hours ...
Power went out!!!


May
Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....
8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!


June
Tried to go water skiing.......
Couldn't find a lake with a slope.


July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....
Learned later that the other swimmers cheated- they used their arms!!!


August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....
Darn car filled up with water because convertible top was open.


September
The capital of California is 'C'.....isn't it???


October
Hate M & M's.....They are so hard to peel.


November
Baked Thanksgiving turkey for 4 1/2 days ...
Instructions said bake 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!


December


Couldn't call 911.
'Duh'.....there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone!!!
THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR



____________________________________________________________________________

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde
female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.



She opened it then slammed it shut and Stormed back in the house.


A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box and
again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house
she went.


As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again,
marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder
than ever.


Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, 'Is something wrong?'


To which she replied, 'There certainly is!'
(Are you ready? This is a beauty...)




'My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!'
 

jinty05

Bronze
Feb 11, 2005
925
38
48
Bottom Deodorant

The blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell bottom deodorant, and never have.

Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more.

"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."

"But I always get it here," says the blonde.

"Do you have the container it comes in?"

"Yes!" said the blonde, "I will go and get it."

She returns with the container and hands it to the chemist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."

The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container, "To apply, push up bottom."