A Jewish Wife's Unexpected Arrival at Home
Yankele's wife Feige came home early and found Yankele in their
bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.
Feige was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried.
'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your
children! I'm leaving you. I want a Get (Jewish divorce) right away!'
And Yankele replied, 'Hang on just a minute Feige so at least I can
tell you vat happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed, 'but they'll be
the last words you'll say to me!'
And Yankele began -- 'Vell, I vas getting into the car to drive home,
and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and
out and defenseless that I took rachmones on her and let her into
the car.
I noticed that she vas very thin, not vell dressed and very dirty.
She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and varmed up the lokshen
kugel I made for you last night, the food you vouldn't eat because
you're afraid you'll put on veight. The poor thing devoured them in
moments.
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and vile she
vas doing that, I noticed her clothes vas dirty and full of holes, so I threw
them avay. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer outfit
that you have had for a few years, but don't vear because you say it's too
tight. I also gave her the undervear that vas your anniversary present,
vitch you don't vear because I don't heff good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Chanukah that you don't
vear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at
the expensive boutique and don't vear because someone at vork has a
pair the same.'
Yankele took a quick breath and continued - 'She vas so grateful for
my understanding and help that as I valked her to the door, she turned
to me mit tears in her eyes and said, 'Please ... Do you have anything
else that your vife doesn't use?'
Yankele's wife Feige came home early and found Yankele in their
bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.
Feige was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried.
'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your
children! I'm leaving you. I want a Get (Jewish divorce) right away!'
And Yankele replied, 'Hang on just a minute Feige so at least I can
tell you vat happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed, 'but they'll be
the last words you'll say to me!'
And Yankele began -- 'Vell, I vas getting into the car to drive home,
and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and
out and defenseless that I took rachmones on her and let her into
the car.
I noticed that she vas very thin, not vell dressed and very dirty.
She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and varmed up the lokshen
kugel I made for you last night, the food you vouldn't eat because
you're afraid you'll put on veight. The poor thing devoured them in
moments.
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and vile she
vas doing that, I noticed her clothes vas dirty and full of holes, so I threw
them avay. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer outfit
that you have had for a few years, but don't vear because you say it's too
tight. I also gave her the undervear that vas your anniversary present,
vitch you don't vear because I don't heff good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Chanukah that you don't
vear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at
the expensive boutique and don't vear because someone at vork has a
pair the same.'
Yankele took a quick breath and continued - 'She vas so grateful for
my understanding and help that as I valked her to the door, she turned
to me mit tears in her eyes and said, 'Please ... Do you have anything
else that your vife doesn't use?'