News From My Home Town

Hillbilly

Hillbilly

Moderator
Jan 1, 2002
18,948
514
113
Three smiling corpses are lying
in a morgue in Cabin Creek, West Virginia, and a
detective goes into the coroner's
to find the causes of death.
The coroner points to the first
dead man.

"This is Cletus," he says. "He died of shock after winning 20 million
dollars on the lottery."

He then moves on to the second smiling corpse. "This is Bo," the
coroner says with a grin. "He died having sex with Trudy-Mae."

Finally he moves on to the last smiling corpse. "This is Roscoe,"
says the coroner. "He died after being struck by lightning."

"Well," asks the detective, "Why in hell was the fool smiling?"

"Oh," says the coroner. "He thought he was having his picture taken."

HB, smiling
 
D

dulce

Silver
Jan 1, 2002
2,524
211
63
The following is from my home State:

A new arrival in Hell was brought before the devil. The devil told his
demon to put the man to work on a rock pile with a 20-pound sledge
hammer in 95 degree heat with 95% humidity. At the end of the day, the
devil went to see how the man was doing, only to find him smiling and
singing as he pounded rocks. The man explained that the heat and hard
labor were very similar to those on his beloved farm back in
Massachusetts.

The devil told his demon to turn up the heat to 120 degrees, with 100%
humidity. At the end of the next day, the devil again checked on the
new man, and found him still happy to be sweating and straining. The
man explained that it felt like the old days, when he had to clean out
his silo in the middle of August on his beloved farm back in
Massachusetts.

At that, the devil told his demon to lower the temperature for this man
to -20 degrees with a 40 mph wind. At the end of the next day, the
devil was confident that he would find the man miserable. But, the man
was instead singing louder than ever, twirling the sledge hammer like a
baton.

When the devil asked him why he was so happy, the man answered, "Cold
day in hell, the Patriots must have won the Super Bowl!
 
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