Axis of Evil - Humour

Marc

New member
Jan 1, 2002
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www.haugen.ca
Never saw the DR in here, but maybe we could make an axis with Haiti and Dominica...not sure what we could call it. ;)

marc

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Beijing, China (AP) - Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just-as-Evil", which they said would attempt to be even more evil than that tepid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.

Current Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right, as if they are Just as Evil...in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong Il.

"Everybody knows we're world's best evils -- the absolute global best at being profoundly, unethically, despicably evil."

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.

Commented Iraqi President Saddam Hussein, "An Axis can't have more than three countries. This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan comprising the Axis Powers. So you can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool."


THE AXIS PANDEMIC
International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered and closed its airspace to any Axis flyovers. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable.

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics. Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries
That Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick. "That's not a threat, really, just
something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.

Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.

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-no source quoted on the copy I received.