I found these...
The Star's Rick Fraser, in a story setting up a fight between heavily favoured Billy Irwin and outclassed opponent Lee Cargle, whose record read 29 wins and 46 losses: "They might need to keep playing the national anthem to keep this guy on his feet."
Dennis Rodman was sued by a former Atlanta Hawks cheerleader, who alleged the basketball star gave her herpes. During the trial, Rodman told the court: "I'm very particular about who I sleep with."
During the baseball strike Cleveland traded five replacement players to Cincinnati for future considerations. That prompted this response from then Reds manager Davey Johnson:
"Cleveland got the better of the deal. They didn't get anybody."
A sign at the San Jose Arena near the end of the 1994-95 regular season: "All the Kings' goalies and all the Kings' men couldn't get Wayne to the playoffs again."
Pirates broadcaster Steve Blass on Pittsburgh replacement pitcher Jimmy Boudreau, who last played professionally in 1986:
"He should have been better, pitching on 3,195 days rest."
Tommy Lasorda, on former Los Angeles Dodger catcher Mike Scioscia: "If he raced his pregnant wife, he'd finish third."
Figure skater Toller Cranston, 45, who broke an ankle in warmups, on why he won't let it end his career: "I have no intention of retiring in such a modest, inconspicuous way. If I break my leg, it's gotta be at least in front of television cameras."
Yogi Berra was asked if he wanted his pizza cut into four or eight slices? His reply: "Better make it four. I don't think I can eat eight."
Cedric Ceballos of the LA Lakers when asked about his chances of being voted a starter in the NBA all-star game: I don't know. But I know my hands are tired, from stuffing the ballot box."
Charles Barkley on why he wants to beat the Philadelphia 76ers by 100 points: "Ex-teams are like ex-wives. Deep, deep down, you know you can't stand them."
George Foreman, when asked whether he worries about brain damage: "Anybody going into boxing already has brain damage."
Jim Riggleman, new manager of the Chicago Cubs: I try to have respect for people in general, whether it's baseball players or low lifes like the media."
Former boxer Art Aragon, the original Golden Boy: "I'll never forget my last time at Madison Square Garden. Hundreds of people were screaming for me. I must have sold 250 hot dogs."
San Francisco 49ers linebacker Gary Plummer on his team's awesome offence in the Super Bowl: "Most offenses take what the defence gives them. Ours takes what it wants."
John Andretti, after finishing 492 gruelling laps at the tough North Carolina Speedway in Rockingham: "Racing 492 laps (at Rockingham) is like going to a gang fight, and your gang doesn't show up."
When New York Ranger defenceman Ulf Samuelsson was asked who he thought was the dirtiest player in the NHL, he responded:
"Can I vote for myself?"
LPGA player Elaine Johnson, after her shot hit a tree and rebounded into her bra: "I'll take a two-shot penalty, but I'll be damned if I'm going play the ball where it lies."
Amy Perinutter of Manchester (N.J.) high school after pinning Hawthorne's Catrina Carriales in the state's first all-female wrestling match: "I was pumped up for this match. I didn't want to lose to a girl."
Detroit Lions quarterback Scott Mitchell underwent tests after feeling lightheaded in a game against Minnesota and later reported: "They checked my head out and found I had a brain. That was real encouraging."
Tim McDonald, San Francisco 49er strong safety, on why he does not wear an earring: "My mother said that's the first step to becoming a woman.
Jane Fonda after the Atlanta Braves won the World Series:
"It's the most exciting day I've ever had with my clothes on."
Pittsburgh coach Rich Donnelly, when asked if the Pirates were a young team: "We had our father-son game the other day. Our guys thought they were supposed to call their fathers to come in for the game."
Minnesota Twin Kirby Puckett, whose team had the worst record in the majors at one point last season: "There are lots of peaks and valleys in this game. We're in a valley -- Death Valley."
Jack Nicklaus, on growing old: "Trouble is, I want to play like me -- and I can't play like me any more.
From former Argo quarterback Joe Theismann: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein."
Toronto Maple Leaf coach Pat Burns had this to say on the flat terrain of Winnipeg: "It's the only town where you can watch your dog run away for three days."
Mickey Mantle, near death before receiving a liver transplant, said one person who called him was former Yankee teammate Yogi Berra: "Yogi said he was gonna come to my funeral because he was afraid I wasn't going to come to his."
Martina Navratilova, on her exhibition match with Monica Seles, who was making her first appearance in a tennis event since being stabbed: "She beat me, and I ain't no slouch potato."
Josee Chouinard, who has a history of falling, had this to say after failing twice at Skate Canada in November: "I felt like a Zamboni out there."
Dennis Rodman on the belief that team chemistry is overrated:
"Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is ten, or something."
Shortly after Mark Lamping was named president of the St. Louis Cardinals, he proudly told his 12-year-old son, Brian, about his new job. Brian's response: "Dad, (the Cards) stink. All of the kids at school are going to make fun of me."
Britain's Nick Faldo is back on the PGA Tour for the first time since 1989 and said he misses European beer. "Drinking American beer is like making love in a boat. It's close to water."
Boxing promoter Dan Duva said he wasn't surprised that Mike Tyson aligned himself with Don King after coming out of prison:
"Why would anybody expect him to come out smarter than when he came in. He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."
When author Bud Shrake suggested to Harvey Penick, the late, great golf teacher, that they collaborate on a book, Penick was sceptical. Later, Shrake called to say: "Good news! They say they'll publish it! Seventy five thousand dollars!" Penick looked worried and said: "I don't think I can afford to pay that much."
Manager Jim Leyland of the financially strapped Pittsburgh Pirates:
"People ask me why we didn't sign (pitcher) David Cone. Heck, we can't even afford an ice cream cone."
Dr. Phil Rizzuto, after the former Yankee shortstop was awarded an honorary degree by Hofstra University: "This is out of my realm. My God, they speak the King's English I'm from Brooklyn."
Former Blue Jay Todd Stottlemyre when he joined the Oakland A's: "I'm amazed at how quick they've made me feel welcome. I mean, there's a lot of guys on this ball club I've probably hit."
Maria Bottone on her finances as she trains for the U.S. Olympic fencing team: "There's always too much month at the end of the money."
Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record: "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."
Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four Fs and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."
Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."
Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."
Tommy Lasorda, Dodger manager, asked what terms Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming contract negotiations: "He wants Texas back."
Darrell Royal, Texas football coach, asked if the abnormal number of Longhorn injuries this season resulted from poor physical conditioning: "One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose in condition for football?"
Mike McCormack, coach of the hapless Baltimore Colts, after the team's co-captain, offensive guard Robert Pratt, pulled a hamstring running onto the field for the coin toss against St. Louis: "I'm going to send the injured reserve players out for the toss next time."
Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books: "But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet."
Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints general manager, when asked after a loss what he thought of the refs: "I'm not allowed to comment on lousy officiating."
Alan Kulwicki, stock-car racer, on racing Saturday nights as opposed to Sunday afternoons: "It's basically the same, just darker."
Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision not to vote: "I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot."
Jim Colletto, Purdue football coach and former assistant at Arizona State and Ohio State, on his 11-year-old son's reaction after he took the job with the Boilermakers: "He said, 'Gosh, Dad, that mean's we're not going to any more bowl games.'"
LaVell Edwards, BYU football coach and one of 14 children: "They can't fire me because my family buys too many tickets."
Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you: Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, " 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"
Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
