Here's for Pepe
Book title: "My Best Friends Are Crooks"
Preface:
"This book is dedicated to my best friend and crook HIPPO, who trusted me with his bald head and stuck by me in good and bad times. I am most grateful to him for letting me use his credit cards. Only a true friend would let his credit cards in dollars in the hands of a known schwindler like me. He gave me the opportunity to become an airline executive. Because of Hippo the entire island was my helipad. I kicked ass like never before, beat up news reporters to a pulp and became a street menace everywhere I went. The pleasure of being "Pepe" was Hippo's ultimate creation, and I thank him for that.
Acknowledgements:
"To my pal Torres "Te pizo un pie" Pezzoti, who taught me the famous words..."Where are the $$pezzotis?".
To Ramoncito Baez "Figureo" the biggest show man on earth, banker, music promoter, news editor, jet set figure, million-dollar wedding man. who made it possible for me to have a blank check with the credit cards and on top of that paid for them too.
To my friend Maximo Aristy Caballomanso, who tried to free me and turned my case into a simple correctional mickey mouse case. Thanks for making my bail a nickel and dime thing. Too bad they messed up your masterpiece.
To the Herrera Airport authorities who allowed me to use my secret airline under the cover of night and late night hours to fly into tropical islands nearby.
To My valuable friend Diaz the Gas Man, who became my partner in the modern version of the Nazi Gas Chambers, which we tried to install in Hippos Gurabo. We certainly gave 'hell, didn't we? The hell with the neighborhood, heheeh! Gas 'hem boy!!
To Banco Popular who gave me 10 credit cards with over $2,000,000 in credit. Sorry Mr. Grullon, I never used them much. Had no need to. At least I didn't have to pay back my Baninter cards. Plus my Baninter cards had no dollar limits...get thatttt Grullon? Maybe next time you'll be more generous.
To My Chief of The Armed Forces, Fat Joe Sotoito, the most decorated man since WWII for screwing up the investigation so bad that now the courts don't know what to do with me, except let me free.
To my PPH friends who gave me the honor of wearing the Rolex watches I gave them. I specially thank Rolex Guido(The black Italian hit-and run man a.k.a Bateo y Corrido), Gucci Hernani(The Senate cheerleader for Baldie's reelection), To Bvlgari Eligio Jaque-Mate.
And to all my fans in the Cuerpo de Ayudantes Sin Lucro, the PRD suckers and the bank savers of DR who provided me with a good living, at least for now. And again to the Chiefs of Staff of the Armed Forces who are keeping me alive in this 5-star hotel by la rotonda de la 27. I can even say hello from my window to Morel Cerda at La Junta and my gran amigo from the Agrarian Reform whom I plan to give a case full of Loreal's blue black hair dye for Christmas.
Signed PEPE
