> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
> * You have two cows.
> * You sell one and buy a bull.
> * Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
> * You sell them and retire on the income.
>
> AMERICAN CAPITALISM (or Enron-capitalism):
> * You have two cows.
> * You sell three of them to your publicly listed
> company, using letters of credit opened by your
> brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
> debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so
> that you get all four cows back, with a tax
> exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six
> cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman
> Island company secretly owned by the majority
> shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows
> back to your listed company. The annual report says
> the company owns eight cows, with an option on one
> more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the
> United States, leaving you with nine cows. No
> balance sheet provided with the release. The public
> buys your bull.
>
> AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:
> * You have two cows.
> * You sell one, and force the other to produce the
> milk of four cows.
> * You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
>
> A FRENCH CORPORATION:
> * You have two cows.
> * You go on strike because you want three cows.
>
> A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
> * You have two cows.
> * You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size
> of an ordinary cow and produce 20 times the milk
> * You then create clever cow cartoon images called
> Cowkimon and market them worldwide.
>
> A GERMAN CORPORATION:
> * You have two cows.
> * You reengineer them so they live for 100 years,
> eat once a month, and milk themselves.
>
> A BRITISH CORPORATION:
> * You have two cows.
> * Both are mad.
>
> A DOMINICAN CORPORATION:
> * You have two cows, but you don't know where they
> are.
> * You break for lunch.
>
> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
> * You have two cows.
> * You count them and learn you have five cows.
> * You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
> * You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
> * You stop counting cows and open another bottle of
> vodka.
>
> A SWISS CORPORATION:
> * You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
> * You charge others for storing them.
>
> A CHINESE CORPORATION:
> * You have two cows.
> * You have 300 people milking them.
> * You claim full employment, high bovine
> productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported
> the numbers.
>
> A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION:
> * You have two cows.
> * That one on the left is kinda cute...
>
> * You have two cows.
> * You sell one and buy a bull.
> * Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
> * You sell them and retire on the income.
>
> AMERICAN CAPITALISM (or Enron-capitalism):
> * You have two cows.
> * You sell three of them to your publicly listed
> company, using letters of credit opened by your
> brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
> debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so
> that you get all four cows back, with a tax
> exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six
> cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman
> Island company secretly owned by the majority
> shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows
> back to your listed company. The annual report says
> the company owns eight cows, with an option on one
> more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the
> United States, leaving you with nine cows. No
> balance sheet provided with the release. The public
> buys your bull.
>
> AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:
> * You have two cows.
> * You sell one, and force the other to produce the
> milk of four cows.
> * You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
>
> A FRENCH CORPORATION:
> * You have two cows.
> * You go on strike because you want three cows.
>
> A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
> * You have two cows.
> * You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size
> of an ordinary cow and produce 20 times the milk
> * You then create clever cow cartoon images called
> Cowkimon and market them worldwide.
>
> A GERMAN CORPORATION:
> * You have two cows.
> * You reengineer them so they live for 100 years,
> eat once a month, and milk themselves.
>
> A BRITISH CORPORATION:
> * You have two cows.
> * Both are mad.
>
> A DOMINICAN CORPORATION:
> * You have two cows, but you don't know where they
> are.
> * You break for lunch.
>
> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
> * You have two cows.
> * You count them and learn you have five cows.
> * You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
> * You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
> * You stop counting cows and open another bottle of
> vodka.
>
> A SWISS CORPORATION:
> * You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
> * You charge others for storing them.
>
> A CHINESE CORPORATION:
> * You have two cows.
> * You have 300 people milking them.
> * You claim full employment, high bovine
> productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported
> the numbers.
>
> A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION:
> * You have two cows.
> * That one on the left is kinda cute...
>