I fall in love with Dominican men. We met in my counry - Russia. Maybe it was a love from the first sight or maybe it was something else I dont know but we feel eash other it was understanding without words. But for me visit with him DR was a very big problem, becouse in plase where I living girls cant have relationship with the foreigners more so he was black/ My people are not rasist. They are very close, even marriage with russian guy is not greeted. More so our nations religion is islam. Now when he so far from me I miss him mucho mucho. I want to be in his arms again and feeling his heartbeating. He is a most handsome men for me. He is allways in my heart.
- Thread starter Peta
- Start date
Men from mars and women from venus
- Status
Peta, you are better without him. Its not worth it to ruin your life because of someone no one will accept......a relationship includes not only you but your family, his family, and society.......You can't be happy with someone society looks down upon, its just not worth it.......let yourself fall in love with someone who can give you a comfortable life that you deserve......Someone you don't have to sacrifice your life for......if he felt the way you do, he would have gotten in touch and would have found a way to make things work......
Gee, that's White of You
If she wants to have a relationship with the guy who the hell cares what her freinds think? Attitude like this belongs with George Wallace, not here.
diablorojo said:
If she wants to have a relationship with the guy who the hell cares what her freinds think? Attitude like this belongs with George Wallace, not here.
Re: Gee, that's White of You
What a complete jerk you are.
Liberals are such blatant hypocrites! What an incredibly racist thing to say! I'd say that I just turned five shades of purple but Diablaroja here would somehow try to judge my IQ by how deep the shading was.ricktoronto said:
What a complete jerk you are.
"If she wants to have a relationship with the guy who the hell cares what her freinds think? Attitude like this belongs with George Wallace, not here." Ricktoronto
This is a typical western mind-set at work, things don't work out the same way in a islamic culture. The man has to be a muslim in order for her family to accept him as part of their family. I was in russia and met a few russian muslims. believe me, they might be russians but their moms were exactly the same way as mine. I was in venezuela and met more venezuelan muslims in one part of a city alone than in the whole country of DR. They are exactly alike as the ones in other parts of the world. They were venezuelans and spoke the same language and lived among the rest but they would only marry within their own people to preserve their religion and culture.
This russian woman's family is no different. If they found out she was engaged in a secret affair with a non-muslim man (a dominican who would never leave his bachata and brugal behind, much less convert to islam), hell would break loose. Besides, I am sure the guy is not crazy about mixing in with the islamic culture much less embrace it for her sake.
I say, stick to your own people and you will come out a winner in the end. If you don't believe me, just ask the dominican women what they think of their own men (the majority).
This is a typical western mind-set at work, things don't work out the same way in a islamic culture. The man has to be a muslim in order for her family to accept him as part of their family. I was in russia and met a few russian muslims. believe me, they might be russians but their moms were exactly the same way as mine. I was in venezuela and met more venezuelan muslims in one part of a city alone than in the whole country of DR. They are exactly alike as the ones in other parts of the world. They were venezuelans and spoke the same language and lived among the rest but they would only marry within their own people to preserve their religion and culture.
This russian woman's family is no different. If they found out she was engaged in a secret affair with a non-muslim man (a dominican who would never leave his bachata and brugal behind, much less convert to islam), hell would break loose. Besides, I am sure the guy is not crazy about mixing in with the islamic culture much less embrace it for her sake.
I say, stick to your own people and you will come out a winner in the end. If you don't believe me, just ask the dominican women what they think of their own men (the majority).
Re: Gee, that's White of You
Rick,
As much as I disagree with Diablorojo onmany things I am with him/her on this one.
Like it or not you have to live in this world. Society can be cruel. Family can be nasty. Just for a moment try to imagine what it would be like to live in a world in which your partner would not be accepted by both your family, friends and the society you live in.
They say love conquers all. That is for people who read romance novels and believe that the movie "Pretty woman" was a true story.
ricktoronto said:
Rick,
As much as I disagree with Diablorojo onmany things I am with him/her on this one.
Like it or not you have to live in this world. Society can be cruel. Family can be nasty. Just for a moment try to imagine what it would be like to live in a world in which your partner would not be accepted by both your family, friends and the society you live in.
They say love conquers all. That is for people who read romance novels and believe that the movie "Pretty woman" was a true story.
See, this highlights why I am Libertarian, not Liberal.
AZB, Diablaroja, Tony C, you're right in that this is difficult. But this is because you are ascribing rights to what is essentially an abstraction - society. I believe in the individual only. The idea of societal rights is a bunch of nonsense invented to keep people doing what other people want them to. Phooey on that. I am (probably) only going to be going around here once and I intend to make the most of it and to hell with what anyone else thinks. If she has the willpower to stop thinking like the herd and be independent, good for her, and it's not for anyone here to tell her to not get too far out of line from what everyone else expects of her.
And before y'all go jumpin' on me, yes I do know what that's like. Many times over. I know what Hindu families are like regarding these relationships (even the Malaysian ones), been there done that. Married to a black woman in the states in lily white Iowa for 17 years. Been there done that. And here I am with a Dominican wife and family and she doesn't even speak English. So it can be done.
Don't give up your dreams, Peta, if that's what you want. But recognize that those other voices are right about it being hard. Know what you're getting unto and if you're brave enough, go for it and be happy.
AZB, Diablaroja, Tony C, you're right in that this is difficult. But this is because you are ascribing rights to what is essentially an abstraction - society. I believe in the individual only. The idea of societal rights is a bunch of nonsense invented to keep people doing what other people want them to. Phooey on that. I am (probably) only going to be going around here once and I intend to make the most of it and to hell with what anyone else thinks. If she has the willpower to stop thinking like the herd and be independent, good for her, and it's not for anyone here to tell her to not get too far out of line from what everyone else expects of her.
And before y'all go jumpin' on me, yes I do know what that's like. Many times over. I know what Hindu families are like regarding these relationships (even the Malaysian ones), been there done that. Married to a black woman in the states in lily white Iowa for 17 years. Been there done that. And here I am with a Dominican wife and family and she doesn't even speak English. So it can be done.
Don't give up your dreams, Peta, if that's what you want. But recognize that those other voices are right about it being hard. Know what you're getting unto and if you're brave enough, go for it and be happy.
no argument at my end
Happiness is what is all about, if you are willing to accept the consenquences of your actions, and are sure what you're doing is the right thing for you I say, go for it. Don't listen to all the negative remarks. Some of these posters are really nut cases, and you know what's scary, they think they are so smart and have it altogether.
XanaduRanch said:
Happiness is what is all about, if you are willing to accept the consenquences of your actions, and are sure what you're doing is the right thing for you I say, go for it. Don't listen to all the negative remarks. Some of these posters are really nut cases, and you know what's scary, they think they are so smart and have it altogether.
Last edited:
I wonder if she is even finacially able to leave her country to go visit him. Do you know how much they make in Russia?
Peta I think you need to tell us more so these guys aren't jumping on each other.
Can you travel to see him? Has he return to the Dominican Republic?
Can he ever return to Russia to visit you or are you saying that you met, loved and wished you were with him but all of the above is impossible not only for because of your family but finacially impossible as well.
Don't let the guys scare you. I have a delete button
Peta I think you need to tell us more so these guys aren't jumping on each other.
Can you travel to see him? Has he return to the Dominican Republic?
Can he ever return to Russia to visit you or are you saying that you met, loved and wished you were with him but all of the above is impossible not only for because of your family but finacially impossible as well.
Don't let the guys scare you. I have a delete button
Come on people!
She asked for advice and I gave it. I also am a libertarian by nature but I also realize the world we live in. You cannot compare the situation of a white man married to a black woman in Iowa with a muslim Woman in Russia married to a Dominican. We are not only talking racial differences and all the problems they bring but a strong religious intolerance. We all know the current state of affairs of women in most muslim societies. It is most likely that she will be considered an outcast by friends and family and her society in general.
Xanadu, When you married a black woman did your family cut all ties and communications? Did everybody you know hate you and consider you the equal of vermin? I am sure you met with some resistance and even some outright hatred but you and I both know you did not go threw what this woman will probobly go through if she marries this guy.
Personally, I truly hope that she finds her lover. That they get married and that everything lives out like a romantic fairy tale. Her family and friends will accept her new man as an equal and embrace him. It could happen! I just don't belive it will happen and I am trying to save her lots of grief!
She asked for advice and I gave it. I also am a libertarian by nature but I also realize the world we live in. You cannot compare the situation of a white man married to a black woman in Iowa with a muslim Woman in Russia married to a Dominican. We are not only talking racial differences and all the problems they bring but a strong religious intolerance. We all know the current state of affairs of women in most muslim societies. It is most likely that she will be considered an outcast by friends and family and her society in general.
Xanadu, When you married a black woman did your family cut all ties and communications? Did everybody you know hate you and consider you the equal of vermin? I am sure you met with some resistance and even some outright hatred but you and I both know you did not go threw what this woman will probobly go through if she marries this guy.
Personally, I truly hope that she finds her lover. That they get married and that everything lives out like a romantic fairy tale. Her family and friends will accept her new man as an equal and embrace him. It could happen! I just don't belive it will happen and I am trying to save her lots of grief!
Before you all go into writing a romance novel understand this: She met a dominican, knows little about him and even less about his country. Russians don't travel as much as americans do so chances are she hasn't been to this side of the world. All we know is that she met a dominican whom she had a good time with. Chances are that dominican is married in DR and has other girlfriends. We don't even know if he wants to stay in touch with her or not. Russian women tend to fall in love with foreigners for the same reasons a dominican chopa does, to get out of Russian winter and live in paradise. I am quite sure she knows nothing about DR or its current economical situation. They think the rest of the world is like USA and after seeing a few pictures of the dominican beaches, she is in love with her fantasy.
if this guy was really interested in her then they would be in contact already. This is the real world so think real. Individualism leads to isolation (from family and others). This woman would be cut off from her family and will not be allowed in. This is the fact so stop thinking with a gingo minds please. To us people we care about what our family thinks and expects from us. Don't think we are suffering in anyway or form. Our women are quite happier than their western counterparts.
Rules of society are there and formed to protect us not the other way around.
This is a simple case of infatuation, obsession and nothing else. She is better off looking for her prince in russia. case closed.
if this guy was really interested in her then they would be in contact already. This is the real world so think real. Individualism leads to isolation (from family and others). This woman would be cut off from her family and will not be allowed in. This is the fact so stop thinking with a gingo minds please. To us people we care about what our family thinks and expects from us. Don't think we are suffering in anyway or form. Our women are quite happier than their western counterparts.
Rules of society are there and formed to protect us not the other way around.
This is a simple case of infatuation, obsession and nothing else. She is better off looking for her prince in russia. case closed.
Yes, Tony, they did for a while. But I have been told I can be somewhat, ah, strong willed. I was also a public figure so you wouldn't believe some of the vile things I received. I laughed. My wife was not so amused when crosses were burned, bullets landed in the headrest of my jeep - while we were driving it, or letters arrived saying things like I married a black woman because I could never get a white girl. And that's the clean version of one of the nicer letters. On the other hand, in the end my Malaysian love and I decided we couldn't do that to her family and parted freinds a long time ago.
So I understand what you're saying. I am just bull headed and would never ever give a rat's hiney about what anyone else thought even if I had to move halfway around the world so as not to upset their sensibilities. But it certainly wouldn't ruin my day for one second.
None of that matters though. My point was simply that she has to make her own decision about whether or not she can stand up to that pressure. Whether or not doing so would on balance make her happier or less happy. That's all it's about.
Tom (aka XR)
Edited to add:
You're probably right about it being infatuation and we're taking this too seriously. That was my thought too. But we have to take her at her word here or Anna will use that delete button down there on us. Mine doesn't work in here!
So I understand what you're saying. I am just bull headed and would never ever give a rat's hiney about what anyone else thought even if I had to move halfway around the world so as not to upset their sensibilities. But it certainly wouldn't ruin my day for one second.
None of that matters though. My point was simply that she has to make her own decision about whether or not she can stand up to that pressure. Whether or not doing so would on balance make her happier or less happy. That's all it's about.
Tom (aka XR)
Edited to add:
You're probably right about it being infatuation and we're taking this too seriously. That was my thought too. But we have to take her at her word here or Anna will use that delete button down there on us. Mine doesn't work in here!
Last edited:
"Russian Fairytale!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"Once Upon A Time,In A Far Away Place..
I met man from other country.we fall for love each other.I never see man like he before.My parents say NO to like him.We steel love to eachother.Why we can no be happy?He have very "blue" skin,my people have "yellow".Our children be "green?What I can do now to be always with he.I not care children green!!! I must to want to hear him heart beet! He have big one ,me want that.
Svetlana Cutcherpekkeroff
....Paaaaaaaaaleeeeeeeez!
I met man from other country.we fall for love each other.I never see man like he before.My parents say NO to like him.We steel love to eachother.Why we can no be happy?He have very "blue" skin,my people have "yellow".Our children be "green?What I can do now to be always with he.I not care children green!!! I must to want to hear him heart beet! He have big one ,me want that.
Svetlana Cutcherpekkeroff
....Paaaaaaaaaleeeeeeeez!
ROTFLMAO
Very creative! Be honest, you've apparently logged in under false pretenses previously just to get GOATFARMNGA and AZB all hot and bothered, right?
Very creative! Be honest, you've apparently logged in under false pretenses previously just to get GOATFARMNGA and AZB all hot and bothered, right?
Re: Re: Gee, that's White of You
that is why if you are lucky, you can live in places like the UNITED STATES, who the heck cares if your neighbor is white islamic with a black christian lover/husband/whatever.. you can dance bachata and attend islamic services in the same city. not saying the US is the best, but we are tolerant.. relatively.
love won't conquer ALL, but it will conquer Lots.
Tony C said:
that is why if you are lucky, you can live in places like the UNITED STATES, who the heck cares if your neighbor is white islamic with a black christian lover/husband/whatever.. you can dance bachata and attend islamic services in the same city. not saying the US is the best, but we are tolerant.. relatively.
love won't conquer ALL, but it will conquer Lots.
- Status