Can anybody translate this into Spanish for me?
PJT said:
I imagine it is the usual case of nobody in the office having the horse sense to collect payment and issue paper receipts. Guess they did not have enough carbon paper or the jefe's permission.
Regards and good luck,
PJT
I was thinking of sending of this letter to Edenorte but am having trouble wording it in Spanish.
Dear cretins,
I have been an Edenorte customer since 9th July 2001, when I gave you a deposit for God only knows what reason. During this three year period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions.
Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional prerogative, and seek to rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking Marlboros and drinking cuba libres.
My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat *** waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Dominican robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website.... HOW? I have no electricity!!! I alleviated the boredom by playing with my testicles for a few minutes - an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept.
The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools - such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, I still had no electricity. After 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks, you finally hooked me up... six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it. I estimate your downtime to be roughly 80% of the time, yet my bill keeps on climbing.
I have made 9 calls to get my bill adjusted, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled ball jugglers. I have been informed that someone will call me back; that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not there is a department that handles these issues(and then been cut off); that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be transferred to someone and then been redirected to that irritating robot woman...and several other variations on this theme.
Doubtless you are no-longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important testicle- moments to attend to. Frankly I don?t care, it?s far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustrations in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me, therefore, if I continue.
I thought the phone company were **** and that they had attained the holy piss-pot of god-awful customer relations, that no one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers.
When it came time to choose my electricity supplier, I chose Edenorte, as there isn?t anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum - incompetents of the highest order.
Codetel, wankers though they are - shine like brilliant beacons of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief - quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused rage.
I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture.
Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards Edenorte, and its worthless employees.
Have a nice day - may it be the last in your miserable short life, you irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats.