One week to go...dreading this ecounter...

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Berzin

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I have to sit down and tell a particular young lady that I happen to like very much that there is no future for us. I am not looking forward to it, but these long-distance relationships are just too much of a joke. If you look down the road and wonder what will you be getting yourself into trust your instincts. A little cynicism would'nt hurt here.

So I decided from the start not to blind her with false promises of the Shangri-La that awaits her here in the US. I tried to paint life here as realistic as possible but the dominican fantasy seems to be "Alto Manhattan with a rich gringo" or bust. Well, it's going to be bust with this particular cat right here.

Would I change my mind? Probably not, only because as I am not sending her money and she does'nt work I am wondering what exactly she is doing to get paid...I have a funny feeling I know what it is and I am pretty sure she won't admit it, of course. But it won't stop me from trying to get it out of her.

Too bad, she IS a very nice person and great to be around. But like the song says, "you cant' turn a ho into a housewife".
 
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Ricardo900

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I Feel Your Pain

Berzin said:
I have to sit down and tell a particular young lady that I happen to like very much that there is no future for us. I am not looking forward to it, but these long-distance relationships are just too much of a joke. If you look down the road and wonder what will you be getting yourself into trust your instincts. A little cynicism would'nt hurt here.

So I decided from the start not to blind her with false promises of the Shangri-La that awaits her here in the US. I tried to paint life here as realistic as possible but the dominican fantasy seems to be "Alto Manhattan with a rich gringo" or bust. Well, it's going to be bust with this particular cat right here.

Would I change my mind? Probably not, only because as I am not sending her money and she does'nt work I am wondering what exactly she is doing to get paid...I have a funny feeling I know what it is and I am pretty sure she won't admit it, of course. But it won't stop me from trying to get it out of her.

Too bad, she IS a very nice person and great to be around. But like the song says, "you cant' turn a ho into a housewife".
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I myself is going thru a "not on my visa" relationship, I will let my novia ;) know not this time(because I'll be in SANTIAGO) :classic: but the my next time when I am in the Capital. She is a sweet girl, but she have a child and her job at the hair salon does not pay well. The cost facing me trying to bring her and her kid in the U.S. is quite long and expensive. There are tons of Dominican chicas in NYC, to choose from, Drop Dead Gorgeous!! So if I bring any chicas on K-1 or K-3 Visa, she must have:
1. Good Job
2. Good Looks
3. No KIDS!!!
4. EDUCATED!!

The problem is that like myself, going to the DR numerous times, hanging out in the barrios all the barrio chicas are on chasing after you for a way out!!
I am educated and middle-classed, so why am I hanging with non-educated (of their own choice) and lower-classed people in the barrio. I have nothing against poor people, its the poor attitude in life that I don't like.

So Berzin, next time hang with people who are of your "equal or better".
Steak or Hamburger??

Mi dos centavos
 
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jrf

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Jan 9, 2005
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Not alone

Intersting state of affairs. I feel for ya.
Not easy being away and wondering what is going on and what to do.
May not be an easy visit but you obviously feel that it has to end.
Hope all goes well.
 
Hillbilly

Hillbilly

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Jan 1, 2002
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Ahhh the glory of it!

Hillbilly's Three Golden Rules for Dating a Dominican strike again.....

Well thought out Berzin and you, too Ricardo....


HB:D:D A real Dominican grandfather!!!!:D:D:ermm:
 
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RHM

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Hillbilly said:
Hillbilly's Three Golden Rules for Dating a Dominican strike again.....


Amen Hillbilly. I was thinking that too...your rules are timeless.... But even more so I was wondering why so many people share their lives on the internet...call me stupid...and I'm not bashing the dude who started this thread but I have always played my cards a little bit closer to my vest...go figure...anyway...good luck and go read Hillbilly's rules before you proceed
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chuckuindy

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Mar 8, 2004
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Stop

Berzin said:
I have to sit down and tell a particular young lady that I happen to like very much that there is no future for us. I am not looking forward to it, but these long-distance relationships are just too much of a joke. If you look down the road and wonder what will you be getting yourself into trust your instincts. A little cynicism would'nt hurt here.

So I decided from the start not to blind her with false promises of the Shangri-La that awaits her here in the US. I tried to paint life here as realistic as possible but the dominican fantasy seems to be "Alto Manhattan with a rich gringo" or bust. Well, it's going to be bust with this particular cat right here.

Would I change my mind? Probably not, only because as I am not sending her money and she does'nt work I am wondering what exactly she is doing to get paid...I have a funny feeling I know what it is and I am pretty sure she won't admit it, of course. But it won't stop me from trying to get it out of her.

Too bad, she IS a very nice person and great to be around. But like the song says, "you cant' turn a ho into a housewife".
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I am sure that you have thought this out and feel that you are doing the right thing, but are you? I know exactly where you are coming from and have had the same thought on several occasions.

Yes, you are right, LD relationships are a pain in the a$$, and are very expensive. They can break your heart, bring you to tears, and make your mind run wild with mistrust. On the other hand they also can bring endless hours of joy. It?s all a matter of trust.

Screw HB?s rules, the odds of finding a woman who fits this criteria are a million to one. I don?t care if my novia is poor and will never get a visa ( I will not pay for one), or that she is lazy and undereducated. It makes no difference to me that she makes her living in a bar, is 30+ years younger than me, and has no real domestic skills. I could care less that she has no money in the bank, is black as the ace of spades, and brings a lot of baggage with her.

All I know is how she makes me feel, and I like that feeling. I trust her until I am proven wrong.

Chuckuindy
 
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RHM

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Screw Hillbilly's rules?....that is blasphemy!

OK...maybe not...but there is a hardcore common sense vibe that screams out from the sacred "Hillbilly Rules"...violate them at your own risk...just promise to post here when you ignore them and end up getting the short end of the stick...

the rules may sound harsh to the uninitiated...but they are tested and true...
 
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AnnaC

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yeah chucky what do you mean screw HB's rules? How many of your relationships have worked out? If you're going to spend a ton of money on someone you can't trust in return for a few weeks a year worth of fun there's cheaper ways of doing it.

The "Pay as you go" plan comes to mind :laugh:
 
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Bartolomeo67

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Hi Berzin, I feel for you. It's going to be hard but you have to do it for your own good (that is unless you are planning to live in the DR anytime soon).
I did the same thing 3 years ago with my Santiago novia and recalling that break-up phone-call still makes me feel sad. The poor girl was speachless. I was her only way out of her miserable barrio and I cut that lifeline. She was also a very nice girl, genuinely in love with me, under strict control of her mommy but so undereducated, knowing nothing about the real world outside her barrio, not someone to take away from her family and to live in the hard '1st world'.
As for not working, this doesn't necessarily mean she is a 'working girl'. My gf lived with her humble family and most of the time didn't have a job, someone in the family always has money to pay for the basics in life.
Bartolomeo
 
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Bartolomeo67

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hairdressers are the best ....

Ricardo900 said:
... her job at the hair salon does not pay well.../QUOTE]

Ricardo, I have to disagree with you here.
You can take a dominican hairdresser to any country in the world and she will almost immediately find a job in her line of business and help you get extra income. The same cannot be said of dominican lawyers, doctors, engineers etc who will, certainly in the first years abroad, always end up working way below their dominican degree's level in any western country and feel frustrated about it.
my two eurocents
Bartolomeo
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AZB

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What is this "I feel for you" stuff? You folks are actually heart broken over some cucaracha? these barrio girls are only used for motel . Dominican folks take these cucarachas to motels in dark tinted glass cars so no one would see them acompanied by some poor chopa from a barrio. they do what they have to do with them, put 500 pesos in her pocket and dump her on the street later. No decent dominican guy would be willing to be seen with her anywhere. Now you gringos are talking about heart breaking good byes? hahahahaha. Am I missing a point here?
AZB
 
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Talldrink

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Jan 7, 2004
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Ricardo900 said:
...So if I bring any chicas on K-1 or K-3 Visa, she must have:
1. Good Job
2. Good Looks
3. No KIDS!!!
4. EDUCATED!!

The problem is that like myself, going to the DR numerous times, hanging out in the barrios all the barrio chicas are on chasing after you for a way out!!
I am educated and middle-classed, so why am I hanging with non-educated (of their own choice) and lower-classed people in the barrio. I have nothing against poor people, its the poor attitude in life that I don't like....
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Agree with your post 100%. I recently had to come to terms with this same situation and ended up making 'that' phone call. It is best done while away - I'm a punk, couldnt do it in person. I never said my real reasons (see above post) but said some other crap that seemed to make sense. I asked myself the same questions: here I am back in school (again!) work full time and I am full of dreams and aspirations. These people are in DR "viviendo del cuento, y del que viaja" - no good.

Some folks have pride and they let it go. I got some push-back, but then it sunk in. He still calls, but it is best to see it for what it really is - it is, it was and always will be temporary.

Put it like this, if you are not willing to bring them back with you eventually and you see no future with this person at home, let it go so that they are free to catch the next plane. Is only fair.
 
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ltsnyder

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Jun 4, 2003
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Actually

The reason they use the tintind glass is because they are ashamed of themselves, that they are so disfunctional that they have to pay some one to servie there weewee. I'd don't blame em for driving around in the middle of the night with the tinted windshields, I would to If my life came to that.

-Lee
 
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AZB

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Jan 2, 2002
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ltsnyder said:
The reason they use the tintind glass is because they are ashamed of themselves, that they are so disfunctional that they have to pay some one to servie there weewee. I'd don't blame em for driving around in the middle of the night with the tinted windshields, I would to If my life came to that.

-Lee
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As always, lee has no clue. Do you live in france by any chance?
These guys are not all disfunctional as you might think. In santiago and SD, guys with money go out with models that you only dream about when you are making love to your loved one. These guys have no problem picking up cute girls but there comes a time when a sweet looking barrio girl is available. So if she is ready to go with you, what will you do, refuse her? I think not. So they take her straight to a cabana and do what needs to be done to please each other. then he gives her some money for salon etc (500 pesos) and both parties are happy. this has nothing to do with being disfuntional or unable to meet the right women. Most men are happily married and also are happily available to outside action in due opportune time.
Nevermind, you will not understand it anyway so why am I wasting my time?
I tell this all from experience, I don't have to imagine scenarios like you.
AZB
 
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Criss Colon

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Don't Blame "Lee","AZB",she IS A WOMAN Afterall!

And Most women have a real "Problem" when it comes to "Paying For Recreational Sex"!

I Don't!!!

I have a Dominican wife of 10 years come 10 October,against ALL of "Hillbilly's RULES TOO,but I still like those tender 18 year olds!

I get at least 5 calls everyday,from pretty young Dominican girls who work in Salons,cafeterias,clothing stores,bars,nightclubs,massage parlors,etc.( I really like paying 400 pesos to the girls who work in the Bars,Clubs,Massage Parlors,where the "Tourists" pay 3 or 4 thousand for the same "P*$$*")They want 400 pesos for "Whatever",and I want "WHEREver"!
Works for US!
"Lee",do you cook and eat all your meals at home,or do you like to "Eat Out" once in a while????? ;)
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AnnaC

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ltsnyder said:
The reason they use the tintind glass is because they are ashamed of themselves, that they are so disfunctional that they have to pay some one to servie there weewee. I'd don't blame em for driving around in the middle of the night with the tinted windshields, I would to If my life came to that.

-Lee
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hahahaha good one lee. ;)
 
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Ricardo900

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Jul 12, 2004
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If I am dating Angela Jolie or Halle Berry, trust me it won't be for my money.
Why you think movie stars, actors, and the rich only date their kind. Because a regular joe would see them as the hollywood figure first and not the real person behind the stardom. So they figure that another rich and famous person would like them for who they are, yeah right ;) ;)

Now the problem with the barrio chicas is, do they see you for the smart and good looking person you are, or the rich gringo who's their ticket out of despair first? I think the latter. Now, they are some decent people in the poor areas of DR, but unless they wear a sign around their neck, you will have to try your luck.

Now, lets say I am in one of the hottest dominican clubs in NYC or SD or Santiago, where the chicas already have jobs, money and visas. If I pick one up from there, the odds that she really finds me attractive is much better, dont you think? ;)
 
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ltsnyder

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Ya know, it's Funny you should mention the Hot DR Chias in NYC

Because last time I went to one of those clubs, there were no fat 40 yo gringos hanging around at all ! Imagine that! In fact there were no old 40 YO Pakastanies either ! Imagine that! I mean, except for me, but I had no luck and left shortly.

:really really stupid look of suprise from the village idiot face:

I wonder wonder why . . . .

Funny how men who could have anybody choose women who they say anybody could have. It's Paradoxical. ;)

PS: Ok, I'll shut up now, been here too long and know this is pointless, and never ending.

-Lee
 
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chuckuindy

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Screw the rules

The thing is that I know the quality of the merchandise in this relationship. With the Pay as you go plan, I don?t. Also the Pay as you go plan may in the long run be more expensive.

It is really no different than any other thing in my life. If the car is giving me trouble or I grow tired of the ride, I trade it in. Or as CC likes to say if the quality of the food I eat at my favorite restaurant no longer suits my taste, I will look for a new restaurant.

Anna Coniglio said:
If you're going to spend a ton of money on someone you can't trust in return for a few weeks a year worth of fun there's cheaper ways of doing it.
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I know what I like and what I can afford. Sure I shop at Neimans for quality, but the real necessities of life can be found at Wall Mart. Or even better deals can be found at the second hand store.

As far as trust is concerned, I really do not trust my government; however, I pay the taxes.

Anna Coniglio said:
a few weeks a year worth of fun
Click to expand...

It sure beats watching the snow fall or the corn grow in Indiana.

Screw HB's rules?


Chuckuindy
 
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