I just want to say its tragic that someone paid a Haitian witch Doctor 10,000 to lift a curse from his son.
Everyone who knows me knows I perform this same service for only 5,000. What's more I have a special this week where I am offering an aditional 10% off, so that's only 4,500 for curse-lifting.
I may not be Haitian, but my wife's dad LOOKS Haitian so DON"T WASTE YOUR MONEY.
If that won't convince you, I also have a special "very unpopular ex-pat" special where after 3 curse-liftings, if you feel you may have been cursed AGAIN I will do the 4th one for free.
You need to think of these things in terms of TCL, or "Total Cost of Lifting" basically if you're an @sshole and people tend to curse you more than usual, it makes sense to buy your liftings in bulk, and you need to talk to someone who can handle a large-volume of curses, not one of these fancy boutiques that maybe lift one curse a month or something like that.
Still doubting? Here's the kicker. I am about to divulge a secret, temporary curse-lifting ritual that will help you to temporarliy experience the benefits of the full-blown curse lifting.
This ceremony must be conducted with utmost caution as the slightest mess-up will turn it into a general goat fertility ritual, so unless you want to give birth to a litter of healthy and full-grown, virile goats PAY ATTENTION.
Spit a loogey into your left shoe.
Throw the shoe up in the air.
Catch the shoe with your left hand while doing a one-handed handstand on your right hand (lefties PM me for alternate instructions)
put the shoe back on WHILE STILL STANDING ON 1 HAND
Walk around for 3 days with the shoe on (you can sit and sleep for moderate periods providing you do not remove your left shoe. You must also leave your right shoe on or else the other will no longer have the distinction of being your left shoe, it will be your only shoe)
Take the shoe off on the 3rd day, smell it, and then go out in the street and comment on the smell to someone in a language they do not understand (no fair making up languages on the spot)
If the person you chose smiles, nods politely and moves on, then you are now curse free for 1 HOUR (enjoy)
If they attempt to engage you in conversation you must start again from the beginning. (it is not recommended that you choose the same person the second time, as they will no doubt try to learn a few words of whatever language you were speaking in the 3 days you are wearing the shoe, and this increases the chances of them engaging you in a conversation)
The REAL PERMANENT ritual takes nearly 20% less time than the temporary one, but it's arcane secrets will only be revealed to those who send me checks for 4,500.
PM me for mailing address.
Everyone who knows me knows I perform this same service for only 5,000. What's more I have a special this week where I am offering an aditional 10% off, so that's only 4,500 for curse-lifting.
I may not be Haitian, but my wife's dad LOOKS Haitian so DON"T WASTE YOUR MONEY.
If that won't convince you, I also have a special "very unpopular ex-pat" special where after 3 curse-liftings, if you feel you may have been cursed AGAIN I will do the 4th one for free.
You need to think of these things in terms of TCL, or "Total Cost of Lifting" basically if you're an @sshole and people tend to curse you more than usual, it makes sense to buy your liftings in bulk, and you need to talk to someone who can handle a large-volume of curses, not one of these fancy boutiques that maybe lift one curse a month or something like that.
Still doubting? Here's the kicker. I am about to divulge a secret, temporary curse-lifting ritual that will help you to temporarliy experience the benefits of the full-blown curse lifting.
This ceremony must be conducted with utmost caution as the slightest mess-up will turn it into a general goat fertility ritual, so unless you want to give birth to a litter of healthy and full-grown, virile goats PAY ATTENTION.
Spit a loogey into your left shoe.
Throw the shoe up in the air.
Catch the shoe with your left hand while doing a one-handed handstand on your right hand (lefties PM me for alternate instructions)
put the shoe back on WHILE STILL STANDING ON 1 HAND
Walk around for 3 days with the shoe on (you can sit and sleep for moderate periods providing you do not remove your left shoe. You must also leave your right shoe on or else the other will no longer have the distinction of being your left shoe, it will be your only shoe)
Take the shoe off on the 3rd day, smell it, and then go out in the street and comment on the smell to someone in a language they do not understand (no fair making up languages on the spot)
If the person you chose smiles, nods politely and moves on, then you are now curse free for 1 HOUR (enjoy)
If they attempt to engage you in conversation you must start again from the beginning. (it is not recommended that you choose the same person the second time, as they will no doubt try to learn a few words of whatever language you were speaking in the 3 days you are wearing the shoe, and this increases the chances of them engaging you in a conversation)
The REAL PERMANENT ritual takes nearly 20% less time than the temporary one, but it's arcane secrets will only be revealed to those who send me checks for 4,500.
PM me for mailing address.