Number 5
>> >>
>> >>A man bumps into a Woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow
>> >>goes into her breast. They are both quite startled.
>> >>
>> >>The man turns to her and says "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your
>> >>breast, I know you'll forgive me."
>> >>
>> >>She replies, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221".
>> >>
>> >>Number 4
>> >>
>> >>A businessman boards a flight and is seated next to a gorgeous woman.
>> >>He notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics.
>> >>
>> >>He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting
>> >>book.
>> >>It says that American Indians have the longest penises and Greek men
>>are
>> >>the best in bed. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?
>> >>
>> >>"Tonto Papadopoulos, nice to meet you."
>> >>
>> >>Number 3
>> >>
>> >>One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing
>>his
>> >>wife's arm.
>> >>
>> >>The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey; I've got a gynecologist
>> >>appointment tomorrow and want to stay fresh."
>> >>
>> >>The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back
>> >>over and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment
>> >>tomorrow too?"
>> >>
>> >>Number 2
>> >>
>> >>Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a
>> >>number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that
>>he
>> >>had terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the
>> >>pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist
>> >>to
>> >>talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to
>> >>overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later , Bill
>> >>came home.
>> >>His wife could see! at once that something was seriously wrong.
>> >>
>> >>"What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. Do you remember that I told you how I
>> >>had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" "Oh,
>> >>Bill, you didn't."
>> >>
>> >>"Yes, I did."
>> >>
>> >>"My God, Bill, what happened?"
>> >>
>> >>"I got fired."
>> >>
>> >>"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
>> >>
>> >>"Oh...she got fired too."
>> >>
>> >>Number 1
>> >>
>> >>A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the
>> >>breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty
>>years
>> >>ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together. "I know,"
>> >>
>> >>The old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds
>> >>fifty years ago. "Well," Granny snickered, "Let's relive some old
>> >>times."
>> >>
>> >>Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
>> >>"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My
>>nipples
>> >>are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.
>> >>
>> >>"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and
>> >>the other is in your oatmeal
>>
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>> >>
>> >>A man bumps into a Woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow
>> >>goes into her breast. They are both quite startled.
>> >>
>> >>The man turns to her and says "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your
>> >>breast, I know you'll forgive me."
>> >>
>> >>She replies, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221".
>> >>
>> >>Number 4
>> >>
>> >>A businessman boards a flight and is seated next to a gorgeous woman.
>> >>He notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics.
>> >>
>> >>He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting
>> >>book.
>> >>It says that American Indians have the longest penises and Greek men
>>are
>> >>the best in bed. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?
>> >>
>> >>"Tonto Papadopoulos, nice to meet you."
>> >>
>> >>Number 3
>> >>
>> >>One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing
>>his
>> >>wife's arm.
>> >>
>> >>The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey; I've got a gynecologist
>> >>appointment tomorrow and want to stay fresh."
>> >>
>> >>The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back
>> >>over and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment
>> >>tomorrow too?"
>> >>
>> >>Number 2
>> >>
>> >>Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a
>> >>number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that
>>he
>> >>had terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the
>> >>pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist
>> >>to
>> >>talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to
>> >>overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later , Bill
>> >>came home.
>> >>His wife could see! at once that something was seriously wrong.
>> >>
>> >>"What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. Do you remember that I told you how I
>> >>had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" "Oh,
>> >>Bill, you didn't."
>> >>
>> >>"Yes, I did."
>> >>
>> >>"My God, Bill, what happened?"
>> >>
>> >>"I got fired."
>> >>
>> >>"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
>> >>
>> >>"Oh...she got fired too."
>> >>
>> >>Number 1
>> >>
>> >>A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the
>> >>breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty
>>years
>> >>ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together. "I know,"
>> >>
>> >>The old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds
>> >>fifty years ago. "Well," Granny snickered, "Let's relive some old
>> >>times."
>> >>
>> >>Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
>> >>"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My
>>nipples
>> >>are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.
>> >>
>> >>"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and
>> >>the other is in your oatmeal
>>
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