Fell for a dominican man.. finding it hard to be without him..

Bright Guy, Bright Future

JoeJoe said:

.... He ....doesn't want to come to Canada lol unlike what some of my friends would say "he is using me to get here" which is completely untrue.

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Of course.
Congratulations.
You've found the love of your life.

JoeJoe said:

Has anyone else .. falling in love.. with a Dominican man and have it actually work out for them?

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It has.
You'd be surprised about the numbers.

Follow your heart.

Don't read "Sankie 101"!!!!!!!


m'frog

i HAVE AND IT HAS BEEN GREAT

hOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT MY E-MAIL IS DEMERS_72@HOTMAIL.COM IF U WANNA CHAT tAMMY

JoeJoe said:

I was on an exposure trip in Consuelo recently.. and we had five tour guides bring the group of us canadian's around for a week. Well I fell into a quick friendship with one of the tour guides and we were purely friends at first but soon friendship brought on more passionate feelings and soon our 10 our days turned into 17 hours together when he would come over to my host families house to be with me and we talked for hours and hours. We have talked twice sometimes three or four times a day since I left a month ago and I was supposed to come back in may but that trip has been cancelled so I can put more money into my trip in the late summer (I'm going to school there for four months ..leaving in augest) I have never got the feeling from him that he is using me or wutever just because I am a canadian woman and I know he is a truely beautiful (inside and out) man. He is in university at the moment and doesn't want to come to Canada lol unlike what some of my friends would say "he is using me to get here" which is completely untrue.
Has anyone else .. falling in love.. with a Dominican man and have it actually work out for them? Can you please share your stories with me. Thank you I would really appreciate it.

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Good Luck! Take things VERY slowly! Watch out for red flags but dont be too suspicious that it looks like you doubt him.

If you want stories where it actually worked out read "succesful relationships Dominican style" There are plenty of stories of happy endings with dominican men.

Keep us posted .... BTW i wrote you a PM

*Baby Girl

You'd better read my blog.

( http://www.dr1.com/blogs/?u=Charlielyn )

So - you only met him one month ago? It's probably too early to tell then. I'd say time will tell.
I'm in a similar situation and have been for about six months now and I'm still not sure what to make of it.
But I can very much relate to your finding it hard to be w/out him. Long-distance-whatevers are not my cup of tea either.
Good luck!

Charlielyn said:

You'd better read my blog.

( http://www.dr1.com/blogs/?u=Charlielyn )

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This is a good description of how the sankies work Charlielyn. You could almost call it "The Definitive Sankie Behavioural Guide". A suggestion for you and Anna, perhaps you could add a paragrah about women that actually try and stay with their sankie and the very real change of severe physical and mental abuse. Anna could then keep this one on hand and in her arsenal of tricks, that is if any of the women in the process of being sankified can sit still long enough to actually read it

JoeJoe said:

I was on an exposure trip in Consuelo recently.. and we had five tour guides bring the group of us canadian's around for a week. Well I fell into a quick friendship with one of the tour guides and we were purely friends at first but soon friendship brought on more passionate feelings and soon our 10 our days turned into 17 hours together when he would come over to my host families house to be with me and we talked for hours and hours. We have talked twice sometimes three or four times a day since I left a month ago and I was supposed to come back in may but that trip has been cancelled so I can put more money into my trip in the late summer (I'm going to school there for four months ..leaving in augest) I have never got the feeling from him that he is using me or wutever just because I am a canadian woman and I know he is a truely beautiful (inside and out) man. He is in university at the moment and doesn't want to come to Canada lol unlike what some of my friends would say "he is using me to get here" which is completely untrue.
Has anyone else .. falling in love.. with a Dominican man and have it actually work out for them? Can you please share your stories with me. Thank you I would really appreciate it.

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I am about to get sick.

Mr_DR said:

I am about to get sick.

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Ditto!!!!!

JoeJoe said:

He is in university at the moment and doesn't want to come to Canada lol unlike what some of my friends would say "he is using me to get here" which is completely untrue.

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I hope everything works out for you. Nearly ALL want to leave the DR, even the University-educated, so don't put much stock in this talk. Ever hear of a yola?

However, I congratulate him on the fact that he is in University. This shows drive and motivation, and he's far ahead of most of his peers in the DR.

Best of luck.

JoeJoe said:

why are you "about to get sick" .. you don't have to be so negative.. life is too short for that..

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Right, but in your "short" life, why would you want it to be miserable? Or have experienced sankie drama? Most people wouldn't want to. What people are telling you is true. The best advice for you would be to take it SLOW...Whats the rush? If hes not marrying you for visa, or if he could obtain one on his own, why get married? Its just a label. Not saying that you planned on it, just that many girls here do rush to get married. Or rush to have babies with them (eeehem). Its a enormous decision to leave your life in Canada to be with him. (Im sure you've thought about it) Living in DR is usually not easy for a foreigner. (your not accustomed to it regardless of how much you think you can live without materialistic things). So if you posted looking for advice, and you truley believe that he is not a sankie bc hes not fitting the description of what you've read, and what everyone is telling you, then the best thing to do would be to get to know him. Being that your in Canada and he DR, this is obviously going to take a looooooooong time. Regardless of what anyone says, you cannot get to know someone over the phone, emails, letter. Not true. The only way would be living together. Good luck, and please look past the fact that he is dominican, brown skin, good in bed, good looking, nice, nice family, etc....if he were Canadian, would you want to be with him given his exact baggage? If he lived on one side of Canada and you the other? etc. So many of us "excuse" behaviors of Dominican men just because they are foreigners. It will end up hurting you. This is coming from someone who is married to a Dominican, so it does have some value. This is not necessarily my situation, but i've been around long enough to see some of the dirt that goes on.

Who's talking about marriage? Did I miss anything?

JoeJoe said:

why are you "about to get sick" .. you don't have to be so negative.. life is too short for that..

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Hello JoeJoe,

don't take it too serious. In this forum people nearly always think that as soon as someone fell in love with a dominican guy, she must be saved from evil sankies, by giving her advice.

We are all free to make our own experience. So feel free+trust yourself without switching off your brains

The brainless ones can't be helped anyway, so what's the point of all these "warnings"?

Hope you are doing fine!

All the best,
Palomita

Dont expect much insight from a message board. Amazes me how much people divulge on these things, and expect to learn. Forget all that. Use your native wit and common sense and you will be OK. Enjoy. The guy is not a sanky -- piecing together all your different info from two different threads, I think I can establish that. Doesnt mean he wont be after something, but then again doesnt mean he will be. I would say the worst you have to worry about is that he is just a young Dominican guy and like all young men you will have some trouble house breaking him.

But for any kind of long term thing, you are up against some obstacles. Long distance relationships are murder, and if either of the members of a couple uproot themselves in order to close the gap, that could spell trouble too. Transitions like this are not easy.

Dont sweat it though, and if you really want to talk about this thing with DR1 members, PM some of the women here and keep it private. The board is not a good place to air one's private thoughts.

Just keep your guard up and be careful - that is all. People have bad relationships with Canadians as well so if it goes sour it will be no worse than a relationship with a fellow Canadian - just be careful that you do not invest any money into the relationship - protect yourself.