Interesting to get your perspective. I have been living in the DR for 20 years and am not familiar with the party scene you mention. Also, though there are presently no children in the condominium where I live, I don't feel I am living in a retirement community, either. I know a number of families living in the Sosua area, where I live.
In my other life I was involved in public education, serving as a superintendent of school districts in Michigan and New York for many years. When people talked with me about moving with their children onto a cruising sailboat or moving to another country, I always encouraged them
It is my experience that children who have parents who are supportive of them, who read to them when they are young, and who provide them with many enrichment experiences are the children who succeed in school and in later life. There are a lot of pluses to living in another country, experiencing life in another culture, and becoming fluent in another language, as children do, even if their parents don't.
I think what you need to do is to come here and spend time visiting the schools, talking with the educators, talking with the parents of children in the schools. Given the questions you have in your mind, I don't see how you can possibly make what you believe is the right decision unless you do that.