Life in Canada for a Dominican ... from someone that has been there...
Sorry this is so long but for those with Dominican husbands/wives, I'm sure you will appreciate the insight....
After some bad experiences in the DR I met a Domincan that changed my life forever. We married and he has been in Canada for almost a year. I rarely contribute to DR1 anymore, but I felt that this thread could help a lot of people and for that reason I am willing to share a few things about my experience.
We live in Toronto and I can say without doubt that my husband has adjusted to Canada better than most Dominicans I have heard about or have met personally. This is not to say that he is better, hardier, or that I prepared him any better than the thousands before me I am sure ... rather I think a variety of things have helped him make this new home for him a friendlier place....
When he arrived, I would guesstimate that my hubby spoke less than 50 words in English. I knew before he arrived that studying English was imperative and a matter of survival in this country. He went to post-secondary school for two years in the DR and eared a Diploma in Industrial and Residential Installation and Maintenance of Electricity (a loose translation to serving an apprenticeship here as an electrician). He had many dreams and of course figured his education and experience in that field would take him far. I knew otherwise... at least at first and without speaking fluent English you don't have much of chance here of picking up where you left off!
The week he arrived I could not get holidays from my job so he was here alone at our house. That situation had its pluses and minuses... we were not able to spend our first week together with me showing him the ropes, but at the same he had to figure things out on his own pretty quickly. He would call me at work and ask how to figure out the cable, where to go to buy a coffee, how to take the bus, etc. I think it was the best that ever happened for both of us because from day one he was not 100% dependent on me. So many things were new for him and he had to figure them out on his own. Sure I gave him guidance but when you have to figure out the Toronto subway system on your own when you don't speak English and have lived in the country for less than a week, you deserve credit and definitely get an experience along the way!
My husband and I were fortunte that I earn enough money that we could afford for him to study English full-time indefinitely when he arrived until he felt ready to enter the workforce in either his trained profession or otherwise.
At first everything seemed overwhelming... more for me than him I think. He was generally exicited about everything and thought our city was "beautiful" which is a word I have never used to describe a bustling downtown city. I have a very busy and stressful job that requires me to work long hours and at times be out of the city on business trips. I was constantly worried that he would adjust to life here and that he was happy, especially considering I couldn't always devote the time to our relationship that one would hope for in this situation. The fortunate thing is that he arrived in July and summers in July in Toronto are pretty much like any typical day in the DR (minus the beach of course)... hot, humid and sunny! He was shocked that Canada was nothing like what he expected it to be temperature wise... of course Domincans all think we live in ingloos so it was fun to hear the reaction of his friends/family when he told them it was near 100 degrees at times (this is Toronto weather of course...can't speak for northern Manitoba, etc. where I'm sure things are drastically different)!
Anyway, this past week passed a few milestones for us...
My husband will be starting his first job in the next week and will be making close to $20/hr. and he is going to write his driver's licence on Monday (which I fully expect him to pass with flying colours since I tested him last night and he knew 95% of the questions off by heart... personally I would fail if I had to re-write that test now after having my licence for almost 14 years). By the way... for anyone living in Ontario with spouses that need their driver's licence, you need to get a book called "La Guia" which is a Spanish version of the yellow pages here in Toronto and in the center of the book there are about 20 pages on how to get your licence in Ontario with all the questions and answers (in Spanish and English of course so that they can property study).
My husband now speaks fairly fluent English with the exception of more sophisticated English words but he has come a LONG way in one year and I cannot stress enough to others in our situation how forcing them to be independent will pay dividends in the future.
In addition to the above, we have been fortunate enough to live in a large city and are able to purchase almost all the food that my husband was used to back home (even Lambe or Conch in English for those who have tried it).....we maybe only eat Dominican meals three times per week but we always have the essentials on hand to satisfy cravings of the DR .... plaintain, yuca (casava in Canada), avocado, rice, cabbage salad, salami... etc. Also, a monthly night out to Salsa dancing, or a night at a baseball game between Toronto and Boston (a Dominican favorite) goes a long way.
The short of my thread is ... there will tough days but if your partner is aware that they have moved to a country that operates under a totally different culuture, language, etc. and tries to adapt the best they can and you force them to be as independent as possible, you will have a long and happy future as we plan to have.
Good luck to all of you out there in our situation because marriage is hard at the best of times and an interracial/intercultural marriage just adds all that many more challenges.
It's all worth it in the end if both people are committed and if both people realize the other is feeling like a fish out of water (believe it or not the native has just as much stress as the immigrant... a lot of responsibility is taken on is this situation and many are not prepared for the understanding, time and commitment that is needed to weather the storm and help your spouse adapt to their new country)!
Good luck to all.
FM
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