Not Exactly Made to Feel Welcome on the Forum

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hudagle

New member
Aug 15, 2008
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I must say that it was a disappointment to me in my first posts ever on this forum, concerning the girl at Blackbeard's who I fancy -- to be greeted with laughter and sarcasm and a promptly locked thread.

I realize that I am treading in treacherous waters. But I also know that there are other guys who took girls out of Blackbeard's and have had successful relationships both in the USA and in the DR.

I presented my situation in hopes of some constructive comments. I did not deserve to be mocked and dismissed. We are, after all -- all human beings, all God's children. The particular girl I am interested in is a good hearted soul, a single parent with a little girl. She IS going to school in an attempt to better herself, whilst making a home for her and her child. She maintains a decent little apartment, and feeds and clothes her little girl.

We have discussed trying to obtain a tourist visa, or visitor's visa (whatever it is called) for her and see how she likes life in the USA for a few months. She wants a better life, and who can fault her for that?

At the risk of provoking more laughter and sarcasm, I will tell you that I consider many of the girls I have met at Blackbeard's to be good and honorable people. They are working in an undesireable job to support a family. I actually find that admirable.

Those are my thoughts. I hope this thread does not get locked immediately, and I hope some thoughtful people have some constructive comments to make. If not so be it. If I again get laughed and ridiculed off the board, then I will know that this group is not the right group for me.

Thanks for the opportunity to post..
 
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AnnaC

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Jan 2, 2002
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Well first of all you are 58 and some young cute girl has rocked your world so there is very little to else to say. You've been smitten by a prostitue so I'm not sure what it is that you want to hear.

Second she has very little chance of ever getting a visitor visa to the USA. If you read through the visa forum the US issues extremely few visitor visas. The requirements are many and as soon as they ask her where she works, well no need to go on about that.

You've been with her twice while on vacation. She tells you she is going to school which is great if it's true but once someone is in this profession no other job in the DR will pay as well I'm sure. The way to a better life is to find a smitten older guy to take you away from it all and if you're ok with what she does there is very little anyone here can say but don't expect many people to say much that is positive.
 
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rio2003

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Aug 16, 2006
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OK - I will give it a go.......

Hello Hudagle and welcome to DR1,

I am not really sure what sort of response you were expecting from your first couple of posts - you have to admit that you have sort of "put it out there" and there are a number of things that people may find hard to agree with and comment positively.......

1) age - 32 year age gap
2) distance - different countries
3) language - spanish/english
4) professions - she is a "puta" i.e blackbeards employee - you will not be the first or the last to have been smitten. She is holding out for the best offer - in concrete, who is actually going to stump up with the goods and not just promises! She will probably have other guys just like you.

If you and she are genuine, and you really want to start a relationship and get over the issues above, then go for it...... but do so quietly and without making it public. If you ask for advice here prepare yourself for negativity and mocking. 99%, if not more, of people in your position have tried, failed and ended up losing money and face....... who knows - you could be in the other 1% but I doubt it! Everyone who posts on here has seen it so many times and a number have had their fingers burned, lived to tell the tale and try and warn others.

My advice re the DR and the goings on - if it feels good (for you) do it - keep it personal, safe, legal and above all bear in mind that you are treading a well worn path that many others, male and female, have gone down and learned a lesson! Don't think and act foolishly.......
 
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Celt202

Gold
May 22, 2004
9,099
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The likelihood of a 58 year old man getting a visa for a 26 year old girl to visit the US is slim and none and slim just left town.

You could impulsively marry her and then you will discover that if you marry her you get her extended family most of whom will have their hands out and she will receive merciless pressure from her family to pressure you to support them. If you marry her it will take months and months to get a visa and in the end it might be rejected.

If you marry her and you work in the US while she's waiting out the visa process you will probably send her money so she can live. What are the odds she'll accept the money and work at Blackbeard's anyway?

If you go whole hog into this situation in my opinion you will get burned. You and she have nothing in common and she is used to servicing men for money.
 
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hudagle

New member
Aug 15, 2008
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Thank You

Thanks very much to Anna and Rio for the above replies. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts in a civil manner. That is all I ever asked for. I will give much consideration to your comments.
 
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Princesa777

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Apr 13, 2008
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Hudagle I agree with you 100%, personally I don't see much future with you and this girl either and you will have to be very carefull.
But I think you can do and learn a lot more with the comments being said here, then the mocking and laughing. Besides I think people are a lot more willing to listen if comments are made in a constructive manner, EVEN if its negative.
 
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MrMike

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Mar 2, 2003
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It is one thing to fall in love with a hooker half your age.

It is another to expect public support on an internet forum.

The former is a fairly unintelligent thing to do, something that will not often happen to someone with realistic expectations.

The latter is, well, the same as the former but magnified 100x.
 
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Sholly24

I'm an athiest loving Obama fan!
Mar 5, 2006
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hudagle said:
...... I realize that I am treading in treacherous waters. But I also know that there are other guys who took girls out of Blackbeard's and have had successful relationships both in the USA and in the DR.

At the risk of provoking more laughter and sarcasm, I will tell you that I consider many of the girls I have met at Blackbeard's to be good and honorable people. They are working in an undesireable job to support a family. I actually find that admirable.
Click to expand...

I really find these 2 statements that you have made very interesting. My question to you will be as follows

If your son came home with a hooker and introduced her to you as his intended wife, what would be your reaction? If your daughter told you that she intends to become a prostitute to support her family, what would be your reaction? To the extent that you will support your son and your daughter in these 2 situations, then I can only commend you but if you would not support them, then you already have the answer. Why would you want something for others that you would not want for your own family?

I do not know much about this Blackbeards place but I am guessing that it is a kind of strip club/whorehouse. There is nothing honorable about being a whore and there is nothing admirable about becoming a hooker to support a family. The women that I actually find honorable and admirable are the ones that inspite of life's challenges would refuse to sell their body to make a living. 'Good hookers' know how to smile, laugh and just make a man feel special and on top of the world but it is just an act (a well learned script) and they are just doing their 'job'. They would make you feel just as wonderful as the next man they meet after you leave

It might be possible to have a succesful relationship with a hooker but the probability is so low that it is nothing short of playing russian roulette.

Remember that 'there is no art to find the mind's construction in the face'

Sholly
 
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Rocky

Honorificabilitudinitatibus
Apr 4, 2002
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Sholly24 said:
I do not know much about this Blackbeards place but I am guessing that it is a kind of strip club/whorehouse.
Click to expand...
You are correct that it's a whorehouse.

It is fairly evident to me that one has to be a bit more "whorish" to work in a whorehouse, as compared to a chica who scored a 4, 5 or 6 on the Maria Scale.
I would expect that a whorehouse employee would have a slightly higher score and be that much less likely to ever make someone a good wife.
 
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MrMike

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Mar 2, 2003
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What people fail to realise is that, puritan morality aside, what gives hookers their reputation and stigma is not that they are "easy" or "experienced", it's that they are scam artists.
 
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DominicanBilly

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Mar 9, 2005
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MrMike said:
What people fail to realise is that, puritan morality aside, what gives hookers their reputation and stigma is not that they are "easy" or "experienced", it's that they are scam artists.
Click to expand...

If you are going to hook up with some one who is doing this to support her chulo and children make sure you are worth more alive than dead. This can and has happen here as well.
Thai Jailed for Killing Brit Who Predicted Own Death Was Pattaya Bargirl | The Pattaya Ghost - Pattaya News Blogs
 
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Berzin

Banned
Nov 17, 2004
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Hudagle-it is difficult to ascertain sometimes who is giving you advice on this forum and their motives.

Sometimes it seems as if people want to purposely be mean, but a guy like DominicanBilly and other posters like AnnaC and MrMike know of what they speak. The story Billy quoted happens quite often unfortunately. But that is not the only thing you have to concern yourself with.

If you want a decent girl to date, why find one in Blackbeards? That story about being forced into that life is an old one, and maybe you need to take a step back and consider other motivations.

Some of these chicas are drawn to that life out of laziness and greed. Quite a few of them were the town prostitutes where they lived and decided to move to a place that caters to gringos to make more money. They spend time with other prostitutes in an environment where lying is a way of life-and I mean lying about everything even when there is no need for it.

Lying about everything is just one of the many bad habits these chicas pick up in that environment. The second is non-trustworthiness. If you are looking for a mate, shouldn't trust be a priority?

Promiscuity isn't something you can just turn off like a water faucet. To these chicas sex with different partners is no big deal, just a means to an end. When they say they love you, they are just PLAYING AT LOVE. An immature, undereducated prostitute in a third world country does not think of love in the traditional western sense. It is not the same. Their version of love is frivolous and childish at best.

You are only a means to all of her and her family's ends. And once you have been used for that purpose, you will be discarded at the first possible minute.

You are in at an age in your life where you might not have the energy and endurance to put up with the problems and drama this relationship is going to put you through.

The other thing is, you went to Blackbeards for one reason only-to get laid with the chicas. That is the only reason places like that exist. And you broke the golden rule-falling for a chica who is in the business.

If you are lonely and looking for a mate, unless you look elsewhere the chances of this blowing up in your face are about as close to 100% as anything in this life can be. You can be certain of that.

Why do this to yourself at the age of 58? Or at any age for that matter?
 
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whirleybird

Silver
Feb 27, 2006
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Berzin said:
Hudagle-it is difficult to ascertain sometimes who is giving you advice on this forum and their motives.

Sometimes it seems as if people want to purposely be mean, but a guy like DominicanBilly and other posters like AnnaC and MrMike know of what they speak. The story Billy quoted happens quite often unfortunately. But that is not the only thing you have to concern yourself with.

If you want a decent girl to date, why find one in Blackbeards? That story about being forced into that life is an old one, and maybe you need to take a step back and consider other motivations.

Some of these chicas are drawn to that life out of laziness and greed. Quite a few of them were the town prostitutes where they lived and decided to move to a place that caters to gringos to make more money. They spend time with other prostitutes in an environment where lying is a way of life-and I mean lying about everything even when there is no need for it.

Lying about everything is just one of the many bad habits these chicas pick up in that environment. The second is non-trustworthiness. If you are looking for a mate, shouldn't trust be a priority?

Promiscuity isn't something you can just turn off like a water faucet. To these chicas sex with different partners is no big deal, just a means to an end. When they say they love you, they are just PLAYING AT LOVE. An immature, undereducated prostitute in a third world country does not think of love in the traditional western sense. It is not the same. Their version of love is frivolous and childish at best.

You are only a means to all of her and her family's ends. And once you have been used for that purpose, you will be discarded at the first possible minute.

You are in at an age in your life where you might not have the energy and endurance to put up with the problems and drama this relationship is going to put you through.

The other thing is, you went to Blackbeards for one reason only-to get laid with the chicas. That is the only reason places like that exist. And you broke the golden rule-falling for a chica who is in the business.

If you are lonely and looking for a mate, unless you look elsewhere the chances of this blowing up in your face are about as close to 100% as anything in this life can be. You can be certain of that.

Why do this to yourself at the age of 58? Or at any age for that matter?
Click to expand...

Wow! that is some post Berzin and so absolutely true IMHO. At 58 you are NOT old, not past it, not even getting there but you may, as perhaps the OP is, be a bit lonely, a bit lacking in female company and therefore easily lead into what appears to be a good relationship with any chica. Excellent advice from you and written with kindness and consideration.
 
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Berzin

Banned
Nov 17, 2004
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DominicanBilly said:
If you are going to hook up with some one who is doing this to support her chulo and children make sure you are worth more alive than dead. This can and has happen here as well.
Thai Jailed for Killing Brit Who Predicted Own Death Was Pattaya Bargirl | The Pattaya Ghost - Pattaya News Blogs
Click to expand...

This is a quote from the article that sums up the whole situation-

"In all, it’s a numbing story about a lonely, disillusioned man who thought he could live a fantasy life with a Pattaya bargirl at the expense of his family ties at home and, ultimately, his life. Even as he penned his eery prediction to his lawyer, he clasped to the fallacy so many Western men take into relationships here that their Thai love should forever be thankful to be “rescued” from poverty by an older farang."

"And in the end, it cost Ian Beeston his life. As he wrote to his lawyer a few weeks ago: 'Before we met she was living in a one-room apartment with four other girls and her parents were living in a wooden shed. I made it possible for all of them to have a comfortable home with all amenities - and this is the thanks I get for it'."

How sad...
 
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lalla

Bronze
Mar 10, 2003
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honestly...

hudagle said:
But I also know that there are other guys who took girls out of Blackbeard's and have had successful relationships both in the USA and in the DR.

....really, how old are they? where are they now?

The particular girl I am interested in is a good hearted soul, a single parent with a little girl. She IS going to school in an attempt to better herself, whilst making a home for her and her child. She maintains a decent little apartment, and feeds and clothes her little girl.

yes. with the money all the men she twirls for give her, what is honorable about this? and what is honorable about joining the line of men she already receives "gifts" from? do you not think about what sort of role model she is for her daughter?

We have discussed trying to obtain a tourist visa, or visitor's visa (whatever it is called) for her and see how she likes life in the USA for a few months. She wants a better life, and who can fault her for that?

of course you have discussed a visa, after what? the second day?

At the risk of provoking more laughter and sarcasm, I will tell you that I consider many of the girls I have met at Blackbeard's to be good and honorable people. They are working in an undesireable job to support a family. I actually find that admirable.

yeah, very undesirable, uhu

Those are my thoughts. I hope this thread does not get locked immediately, and I hope some thoughtful people have some constructive comments to make. If not so be it. If I again get laughed and ridiculed off the board, then I will know that this group is not the right group for me.


Listen,
just answer honestly....would you date/marry a local stripper from your home town? would you marry a hooker known in your area EVEN if she was "good hearted" as you say this young lady is?

Do you hold the same moral standards at home that you do when traveling? what is different about it?

dios mio, hasta cuando??
Click to expand...
 
E

edm7583

New member
May 29, 2007
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lalla said:
hudagle said:
We have discussed trying to obtain a tourist visa, or visitor's visa (whatever it is called) for her and see how she likes life in the USA for a few months. She wants a better life, and who can fault her for that?
Click to expand...

Your chica has about a 0% chance of getting a visa to the US. Besides not meeting the economic criteria for "binding ties" to qualify for a Tourist/Visitor visa, the fact that she has voluntarily worked as a prostitute automatically makes her an inadmissible alien under US immigration law for moral turpitude. So the rest of this is really moot.
Click to expand...
 
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dalila05

Bronze
Aug 9, 2008
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i dont understand the need to get from this forum a support or advice into a relation!
when i discovered dr1 ,i was quite shocked the way some people were talking about dominican and how easy was it to laugh about somebody else story!
please live your life and dr1 is just a forum it doesnt reflect the reality!
also if you go to dominicantoday is more or less the same people posting all the time,and sometimes making fun of people!
im just thinking everybody got his own stories and get on with that!
 
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