Here is our story:
My husband and I met in November of 2007 on the website Dominicancupid. From the first day we met, we talked on the phone and chatted online every day. At the time, my husband was working and earning a decent salary. He is a physician graduated from a foreign medical school. After a month, he asked me to marry him and I accepted (YES, I know). When I came to visit him for New Years we got married in a big ceremony in the catholic church. He paid for everything: rings, licenses, ceremony, attire, flowers, reception, everything. He was very affectionate, loving, and always held my hand. Shortly afterward, I returned to the US.
After I returned home, my husband told me that he lost his job (this happened right before our wedding but he never told me) but was looking for a new one. In March of '08 I left my job in the US and moved to the DR to be with him at the urging of my parents, who do not believe married couples should be separated. I brought some money with me ($1500) because my husband is trying to get his official license from the DR in order to set up his own practice here. We ended up using this money to pay for household expenses in his uncle's house, where we were living. Much to my annoyance, the family seemed to think la gringa rica should pay for everything and frequently more than 16 people would show up to eat in the house. This continued for a month and a half, using up all the money, upon which time my husband decided we should move in with his aunt, as it would be cheaper.
During this time, I noticed that my husband was a LOT less affectionate than during my first trip. He says this is because he never received affection as a child and it is just not a part of his personality. This does carry some truth, as he never kisses any of the women in his family and even shakes hands with his mother. I still felt somewhat deceived as it was completely different from my first experiences with him.
After moving in the aunt, things improved financially, although my husband still did not have a job. My parents and family came down to celebrate our wedding (a symbolic ceremony in english) and gave us a good sum or money as a gift. We ended up using this money over the course of the next several months to pay for all our expenses. In August, my husband finally applied to obtain his license. He made frequent trips alone to the capital, often for many days, and spent the remainder of the money supposedly obtaining the papers. In the meantime, my own accounts ran out of money. In total, including our wedding gifts, we have spent $10,000 over the past 10 months. My husband earned maybe $500 or $600 of this doing jobs for different family members.
Over the next few months, whenever we needed money, my husband would ask me to call my family or friends in the States for a "loan". Once in a while, but rarely, he would call his brother in Italy for the same, but we never received money from him. My family ended up giving us another $1000 to live on. My husband still has no job and no license. I still have no money. We are in the final stages of the visa process (his family is paying this time) and I need to know what to do before I take that final unreversable step. Is he a sanky the used me for the money and is now waiting for the visa, or not?
Btw, before you say it. I know, I did not have a long enough courtship and did not get to know him well enough before we married. I cannot change the past, only the future and so that is why I am writing this thread. For advice on what to do in the future. Thanks in advance for your honest opinions.
My husband and I met in November of 2007 on the website Dominicancupid. From the first day we met, we talked on the phone and chatted online every day. At the time, my husband was working and earning a decent salary. He is a physician graduated from a foreign medical school. After a month, he asked me to marry him and I accepted (YES, I know). When I came to visit him for New Years we got married in a big ceremony in the catholic church. He paid for everything: rings, licenses, ceremony, attire, flowers, reception, everything. He was very affectionate, loving, and always held my hand. Shortly afterward, I returned to the US.
After I returned home, my husband told me that he lost his job (this happened right before our wedding but he never told me) but was looking for a new one. In March of '08 I left my job in the US and moved to the DR to be with him at the urging of my parents, who do not believe married couples should be separated. I brought some money with me ($1500) because my husband is trying to get his official license from the DR in order to set up his own practice here. We ended up using this money to pay for household expenses in his uncle's house, where we were living. Much to my annoyance, the family seemed to think la gringa rica should pay for everything and frequently more than 16 people would show up to eat in the house. This continued for a month and a half, using up all the money, upon which time my husband decided we should move in with his aunt, as it would be cheaper.
During this time, I noticed that my husband was a LOT less affectionate than during my first trip. He says this is because he never received affection as a child and it is just not a part of his personality. This does carry some truth, as he never kisses any of the women in his family and even shakes hands with his mother. I still felt somewhat deceived as it was completely different from my first experiences with him.
After moving in the aunt, things improved financially, although my husband still did not have a job. My parents and family came down to celebrate our wedding (a symbolic ceremony in english) and gave us a good sum or money as a gift. We ended up using this money over the course of the next several months to pay for all our expenses. In August, my husband finally applied to obtain his license. He made frequent trips alone to the capital, often for many days, and spent the remainder of the money supposedly obtaining the papers. In the meantime, my own accounts ran out of money. In total, including our wedding gifts, we have spent $10,000 over the past 10 months. My husband earned maybe $500 or $600 of this doing jobs for different family members.
Over the next few months, whenever we needed money, my husband would ask me to call my family or friends in the States for a "loan". Once in a while, but rarely, he would call his brother in Italy for the same, but we never received money from him. My family ended up giving us another $1000 to live on. My husband still has no job and no license. I still have no money. We are in the final stages of the visa process (his family is paying this time) and I need to know what to do before I take that final unreversable step. Is he a sanky the used me for the money and is now waiting for the visa, or not?
Btw, before you say it. I know, I did not have a long enough courtship and did not get to know him well enough before we married. I cannot change the past, only the future and so that is why I am writing this thread. For advice on what to do in the future. Thanks in advance for your honest opinions.
When I see the way my ex treats his current wife - I realize he only had friendly feelings for me to start with. So, good luck to you, but I would not try hard to make it work. You will only realize in the future it made no sense at all and you have just wasted your time and money.