I am one of those single mothers living in a medium class neighborhood; not the typical neighborhood where you would find foreigners. I have been living in this area for the past 7 years (15 in the country) and I have learned over the years that you really need to blend in to stay safe.
We have to accept that we are living in a totally different culture from our own and we have to adapt, even if that means closing our eyes on behaviors that we would never accept in our own countries. On a daily basis you will have to deal with the ?macho man? culture and you need to be careful how you react to it. We all know that their behavior is wrong, but getting upset at the ?jefe? will only bring you double trouble. You have to mimic how Dominicanas would respond in the same situation: smile, be friendly even a bit ?coqueta?, turn it into humor and make them feel that you NEED their help, and don?t EVER insult their authority or you will burn your own bridge. If you are dealing with people that have less education you have to think at their level, not yours.
And for the ones saying not to hang out with Dominicans I say its bull, totally the opposite, make friends, get to know the people at your colmados, always treat them with respect you never know when it will come handy in a bad situation. For example, when I first moved to the country I had a police officer give me a ride one night and I guess he was expecting more and was upset. So the next day at 3am he was drunk and yelling at my gate; I was new to the country so I didn?t know anybody but the only people that I dealt with on a daily basis were the taxi drivers I was using to drive me around. They knew me as ?Canada?, so at 3am I called the taxi station and told the operator that ?Canada? was in a bit of trouble, next thing I knew; I had 4 units at my door dealing with the annoying officer? never seen him again.
Sometimes it?s better to let them deal with their own people.
Be nice to the security guys on your turf, take them some juice once in a while, some leftovers, treat them with respect and let THEM handle the bozos at your door. On my street I make sure that I mingle with Dominicans; at the colmados, walking on the street I take time to chit chat with my neighbors. One of them is a general so even if it?s not the type of people I would usually hang out with, I take time to go there, have a beer with him and his wife, mingle, help his daughter with her French homework and show him RESPECT even if I disagree with his macho attitude. Once he hit on me while his wife was in the kitchen; normally I would have gotten really upset at the situation but I simply turned it into humor and he never tried that one again. But he also told me that if I?m ever in trouble I can call him at any time. Another neighbor is a lawyer and he loves gardening as I do, so I take time to go to his house chit chat, bring him new seeds and when I need legal advice, I get it for free. Become their friend and these people will become your safety.
All my neighbors know that I am a single mom so they watch my back and my daughter?s. The other night there was a ladron that jumped in my yard as an escape route, well the next day I had every neighbor asking if I was ok.
I NEVER give out money; even to the street guy that used to come to my door, he would always ask for money and I would only give him food, after a while he stopped coming.
Treat them with respect and you will stay out of trouble, and if you can?t handle them yourself, let your Dominican friends do that for you, but NEVER insult their intelligence.
I have been single for some 6 years now, probably because I don?t accept that macho type as a partner that is also why I got divorced. Sometimes I even think that I would be better to move back to my country to find a decent man but I keep my hopes up. It is true that Dominicans don?t really understand how a woman can be single but they also don?t bug me with it; only the general that tried to match me with his bodyguard.
Humor and respect will get you somewhere, yelling won?t. Negative attitude will get you negative response. I often see gringos treating Dominicans like monkeys, rubbing their level of intelligence in their faces, well that won?t get them anywhere in this country, those people are better off to stay in their own countries.
You either adjust to this culture or you don?t. So my advice is mingle, be respectful, use humor as your weapon and let them handle their own people when you can?t.
We have to accept that we are living in a totally different culture from our own and we have to adapt, even if that means closing our eyes on behaviors that we would never accept in our own countries. On a daily basis you will have to deal with the ?macho man? culture and you need to be careful how you react to it. We all know that their behavior is wrong, but getting upset at the ?jefe? will only bring you double trouble. You have to mimic how Dominicanas would respond in the same situation: smile, be friendly even a bit ?coqueta?, turn it into humor and make them feel that you NEED their help, and don?t EVER insult their authority or you will burn your own bridge. If you are dealing with people that have less education you have to think at their level, not yours.
And for the ones saying not to hang out with Dominicans I say its bull, totally the opposite, make friends, get to know the people at your colmados, always treat them with respect you never know when it will come handy in a bad situation. For example, when I first moved to the country I had a police officer give me a ride one night and I guess he was expecting more and was upset. So the next day at 3am he was drunk and yelling at my gate; I was new to the country so I didn?t know anybody but the only people that I dealt with on a daily basis were the taxi drivers I was using to drive me around. They knew me as ?Canada?, so at 3am I called the taxi station and told the operator that ?Canada? was in a bit of trouble, next thing I knew; I had 4 units at my door dealing with the annoying officer? never seen him again.
Sometimes it?s better to let them deal with their own people.
Be nice to the security guys on your turf, take them some juice once in a while, some leftovers, treat them with respect and let THEM handle the bozos at your door. On my street I make sure that I mingle with Dominicans; at the colmados, walking on the street I take time to chit chat with my neighbors. One of them is a general so even if it?s not the type of people I would usually hang out with, I take time to go there, have a beer with him and his wife, mingle, help his daughter with her French homework and show him RESPECT even if I disagree with his macho attitude. Once he hit on me while his wife was in the kitchen; normally I would have gotten really upset at the situation but I simply turned it into humor and he never tried that one again. But he also told me that if I?m ever in trouble I can call him at any time. Another neighbor is a lawyer and he loves gardening as I do, so I take time to go to his house chit chat, bring him new seeds and when I need legal advice, I get it for free. Become their friend and these people will become your safety.
All my neighbors know that I am a single mom so they watch my back and my daughter?s. The other night there was a ladron that jumped in my yard as an escape route, well the next day I had every neighbor asking if I was ok.
I NEVER give out money; even to the street guy that used to come to my door, he would always ask for money and I would only give him food, after a while he stopped coming.
Treat them with respect and you will stay out of trouble, and if you can?t handle them yourself, let your Dominican friends do that for you, but NEVER insult their intelligence.
I have been single for some 6 years now, probably because I don?t accept that macho type as a partner that is also why I got divorced. Sometimes I even think that I would be better to move back to my country to find a decent man but I keep my hopes up. It is true that Dominicans don?t really understand how a woman can be single but they also don?t bug me with it; only the general that tried to match me with his bodyguard.
Humor and respect will get you somewhere, yelling won?t. Negative attitude will get you negative response. I often see gringos treating Dominicans like monkeys, rubbing their level of intelligence in their faces, well that won?t get them anywhere in this country, those people are better off to stay in their own countries.
You either adjust to this culture or you don?t. So my advice is mingle, be respectful, use humor as your weapon and let them handle their own people when you can?t.
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