I wonder if Dominicans get these too 
TYPICAL PUERTO RICAN MEDICAL DISORDERS(still being studied by the AMA)
Monga
Misterious body temperature, not high enough to be consider fever,
but serious enough to miss school and work. Illness is unknown by the
American Medical Association (AMA) and only understood by
doctors of Puerto Rican origin.
Patat?
Attack of obscure origin that can strike at any time.
Could be serious enough to require hospitalization, yet
is undetected by medical technology.
Victims tend to be males and females over the age of 50 years.
Sereno
Occurs when someone steps outdoors suddenly at night and is
sprinkled by a misterious substance produced by the night air.
There are no physical symptoms and it can only be detected
by the Puerto Rican elderly. The effect of having this disease
is unknown. Children must not be taken out at night
without proper head gear or risk of contamination is certain.
Empache
Digestive disorder which occurs after the consumption of a large
Puerto Rican meal. The only known cure for the disease is
"una buena CAGADA" (defecate) or "tirarse un buen PEO" (fart).
(Alka-Seltzer is completely ineffective).
Cuerpo Cortao
Frequent and mild condition of unknown etymology.
Symptoms include-- but are not limited to-- fatigue,
lack of energy and chronic whining.
Mo?o Parao
Psychological imbalance of short duration that causes
strange mood swings, violent irritating behavior as well
as general unpleasantness.
Cocotazo
Also referred to as the "Fu?cata". A clenched
hand/closed cripple! Caused by left or right fingers
flexed to not quite make a fist with middle finger
slightly raised higher than the rest and delivered to a
child's head with a quick snap to the wrist
(my father's favorite).
Chich?n
Elevated cranial protrusion usually caused by the fall after a patat?.
Can also be caused by the sudden or unexpected encounter
with a cocotazo.
Mal de Or?n
(Diagnosed by grandmas of those who are over 40)
Feeling of discomfort and urgency to urinate after a child has been sitting
on a hot surface (like a rock or concrete) for a long period of time.
Dolor de Hij?
Severe pain endured by Puerto Rican women caused by "Do?a Juana",
who visits them for every month for a few days.
Mal de Amores & nbsp;
Feelings of extreme happiness and incessant talking about a new sweetheart.
Enchulamiento
Possible mental condition that doesn't allow Puerto Ricans
to think straight when they are too "enamoraos" (head over heels).
Churras de Abanico
Extreme, acid diarrhea that leaves the "exhaust pipe" on fire.
Ventosed?
Term used by old time puertorrican grandmas to describe
pain and discomfort caused by flatulence, so bad that gases couldn' t
come out. This could only be cured by the "sobadora"
(some neighbor who specialized in rubbing the belly with oil
while reciting prayers to the saints.)
These ladies also helped with empachos.
TYPICAL PUERTO RICAN MEDICAL DISORDERS(still being studied by the AMA)
Monga
Misterious body temperature, not high enough to be consider fever,
but serious enough to miss school and work. Illness is unknown by the
American Medical Association (AMA) and only understood by
doctors of Puerto Rican origin.
Patat?
Attack of obscure origin that can strike at any time.
Could be serious enough to require hospitalization, yet
is undetected by medical technology.
Victims tend to be males and females over the age of 50 years.
Sereno
Occurs when someone steps outdoors suddenly at night and is
sprinkled by a misterious substance produced by the night air.
There are no physical symptoms and it can only be detected
by the Puerto Rican elderly. The effect of having this disease
is unknown. Children must not be taken out at night
without proper head gear or risk of contamination is certain.
Empache
Digestive disorder which occurs after the consumption of a large
Puerto Rican meal. The only known cure for the disease is
"una buena CAGADA" (defecate) or "tirarse un buen PEO" (fart).
(Alka-Seltzer is completely ineffective).
Cuerpo Cortao
Frequent and mild condition of unknown etymology.
Symptoms include-- but are not limited to-- fatigue,
lack of energy and chronic whining.
Mo?o Parao
Psychological imbalance of short duration that causes
strange mood swings, violent irritating behavior as well
as general unpleasantness.
Cocotazo
Also referred to as the "Fu?cata". A clenched
hand/closed cripple! Caused by left or right fingers
flexed to not quite make a fist with middle finger
slightly raised higher than the rest and delivered to a
child's head with a quick snap to the wrist
(my father's favorite).
Chich?n
Elevated cranial protrusion usually caused by the fall after a patat?.
Can also be caused by the sudden or unexpected encounter
with a cocotazo.
Mal de Or?n
(Diagnosed by grandmas of those who are over 40)
Feeling of discomfort and urgency to urinate after a child has been sitting
on a hot surface (like a rock or concrete) for a long period of time.
Dolor de Hij?
Severe pain endured by Puerto Rican women caused by "Do?a Juana",
who visits them for every month for a few days.
Mal de Amores & nbsp;
Feelings of extreme happiness and incessant talking about a new sweetheart.
Enchulamiento
Possible mental condition that doesn't allow Puerto Ricans
to think straight when they are too "enamoraos" (head over heels).
Churras de Abanico
Extreme, acid diarrhea that leaves the "exhaust pipe" on fire.
Ventosed?
Term used by old time puertorrican grandmas to describe
pain and discomfort caused by flatulence, so bad that gases couldn' t
come out. This could only be cured by the "sobadora"
(some neighbor who specialized in rubbing the belly with oil
while reciting prayers to the saints.)
These ladies also helped with empachos.
