If you speak Spanish...you might just smile

Dominicanos me mandaron esto, espero que lo disfruten!

Natasha

La Rep?blica Dominicana es el pa?s de los excesos, nadie esta en una situacion buena ni mala, sino buenisima o malisima. Los lugares nunca quedan a una distancia mas o menos cerca, quedan lejisimo o cerquita.

Cualquier extranjero que los visite por primera vez enloquecer?a si oyera, como se oye corrientemente, a un electricista, plomero o cualquier t?cnico dominicano ordenando a su asistente: tr?eme la vainita esa para flojar la cosita redonda"; lo asombroso no es la terminolog?a en si, lo incre?ble es que el ayudante comprenda que se le est? pidiendo... Misterios de la lexicograf?a y la sem?ntica dominicana!

Tengamos en cuenta el estilo dominicano de dar las direcciones: "M?s alla del parque, pasando la panader?a, un edificio blanco con unos ladrillos arriba, ahi no es. Cuando tu llegue junto a una casa rosada con rejas verdes que tiene al lado una mata de mango, es la casa de al lado, la blanca con unos toldos blancos", a?adiendo de paso alguna f?rmula misteriosa como "del lado de all?, no como quien va sino como quien viene".

Por ejemplo, concretar una cita "en la tardecita" o "en la nochecita", nadie sabe a ciencia cierta que es la tardecita, que para unos es la tarde a primera hora y para otros la ?ltima parte de la tarde, ya cerca de la nochecita. "A las seis y pico en punto", que en todas partes es un chiste, para los dominicanos es una hora que puede corresponder a una realidad. En una ocasi?n se oy? decir a un locutor de una emisora radial anunciar la "hora legal de Rep.Dom.: las cinco y media pasaditas".

Para contratar una carrera de taxi, el frances -pongamos por caso-sube en el coche y ordena: "25 rue Caucheman", el ingl?s hace lo propio e indica: "34 Peninton Road", y ya. El dominicano introduce media cabeza por la ventanilla del auto y pregunta: "?Cuanto me cobra por llevarme a Gazcue?". En caso de que acceda, el pasajero no indica la direcci?n de su destino sino que se dedica a guiar al conductor: "En el pr?ximo sem?foro a la derecha... en la esquina a la izquierda, otra vez a la izquierda y despues derechito por la subida...".

En todas partes, para expresar el sentimiento que inspira cualquier hecho o circunstancia se suele decir, "me da miedo", "me da rabia", "me da asco" o "me da" lo que sea seg?n el caso, en Rep.Dom. decimos "me da cosa"...?que es cosa?.

Vaya usted a saber!

Maravilloso!

De veid?, u'ted sabe e'crib?, pero mui vien!!

De hecho natacha usted ha puesto en vivo la realidad linguistica(sin los acentos) de este pa?s.

Sin olvidar lo de: "All? mismito!" "Voy a hacer todo lo posible..." y "Honestamente..."

Gracias, parece que usted tiene tinta en las venas tambi?n.

HB

Re: just for you Hillbilly...

Se?ore, ustedes nunca se han puesto a pensar la cantidad de vainas que hay en la mayoria de las neveras de las casas de familia dominicanas???... Bueno pues aqu? les mandamos una lista de las m?s comunes...

Cuando ut? abre la nevera en la puerta encontrar?:

- dos botellas de cach?, una por la mitad y la otra vac?a sin tapa,

-un pote de una medicina vieja que nadie sabe de quien es y nadie se la toma,

- un pote de alcaparra con el aguita nam?,

- un pote de mostaza que nadie le hace caso,

-donde se ponen los huevos (que nunca lo ponen ah?) aveces aparece uno roto medio sucio y al lao medio lim?n viejo,

- en el compartimiento para los quesos, nunca guardan los quesos a menos que sea un pedacito del queso picantino de guallar,

- tambien ah? mismo aparece aveces una paleta roja chup? media babosa, y tambien medicinas,

- tambien nos encontramos en la puerta de la nevera una botella de ponche crema de oro casi entera del a?o pasado,

- nunca falta al abrir la nevera, encontrarse con el viejo ese de la caja de avena que lo que parece e una do?a, o con la prieta del sir? de pancake,

- ok.... pues ya adentro de la nevera, una cosa que da cuerda es cuando cojes el jarr?n de agua y en vez de servirte agua lo que tiene es leche,

- aveces hay un remedio de la trabajadora en una botella de malta morena,

- aveces hay un pote de crema de la mam? de uno en una equina botao,

- un tarro de mantequilla con arroz de ayer tapao que uno cre que es mantequilla,

- una ensalada mare? en vinagre,

- una gelatina como con agua por arriba,

- una viga de pan slice cogiendo moho a do mano,

- un vaso vacio,

- un paquete de tomate que siempre tiene uno podrio,

- en al gaveta de abajo le cojen con pon? yuca, limone, narnajagria,y platano verde pa que se maduren,

- cuando compran guineo siempre dejan pon? uno prieto que depu? nadie je lo qui? com? y termina en el safac?n lleno e mime,

- en navidad siempre hay una caja de lo bombone brachs de lo que tienen una cherrie, que depue de dos d?as lo que se vuelve es una melcocha,

- tambien en navidad alguien parti? una manzana y dej? la mitad que se pone marr?n y no hay quien le entre,

- si la nevera es vieja adentro ta gotiando y simpre hay un jarrito aparnado el agua, o el bombillo no le funciona y por afuera la nevera tiene un pedazo de una equina oxidao,

- adentro de la nevera siempre hay un cart?n de jugo,

- arriba de la nevera siempre hay un cuaderno viejo,- el recibo del gas,

-una caja casi vacia de confl?,

- aveces arriba la nevera ta pegajosa de la grasa de la cocina,

- hay una canasta de poner frutas o pan,

- tambien ponen medicinas que casi siempre ya tan vencia,

Bueno.... ahora en el friser, siempre hay un tarro de helado lleno de habichuela congel?, o de salsetomate,

- en la puerta del friser hay un culoesalami con la soguita,

- un cart?n de jugo que lo ponen a hac? hielo,

- aveces hay un jarro de aluminio con jugo que lo pusieron pa que se vuelva helado con una cuchara aentro,

- un paquete de carne abierta con un chin de carne y ecalcha de la nevera,

- un mulo de pollo crudo,

- los moldes del hielo nunca tienen el hielo y si tienen todavia no se han congelao,

- aveces en el friser nam? cabe una uan botella de refreco porque ta lleno de ecalcha, afuera de la nevera, en la puerta, siempre est? el telefono de Cerapio (el que trae el gas),

- el tel?fono del minimarket con servicio a domicilio,

- frutica de la que se pegan con im?n,

- en el pu?o de abrir la nevera siempre le amarran una jodia toallita que uno siempe se seca de ah?....

Y estas son solo unas cuantas cosas de lo que se puede encontrar en el maravilloso mundo de las neveras. "A LO DOMINICANO MA?OSO"....

P.S. I can't take credit for this, though I wish I would have thought about it

Regards,
Natasha

Re: just for you Hillbilly...

ayayayaiii me voy a limpiar lo mio ahora mismo.......
es como estoy en mi casa...

Gracias,

Saludos

Re: just for you Hillbilly...

?Di?s mio. Ya describiste mia!

Cuidado. Jefe Julio no like people making fun of his people.

Re: just for you Hillbilly...

Bob, I think you should learn more Spanish.

Anyone (and specially a Dominican) that reads the above messages by me would know and undertand that they are NOT making fun of Dominicans. I copied and pasted them here because I wanted to put a smile on those that would read them, hence the title.

Parhaps YOU misunderstood them, but that's still no reason for the snide remarks. Relax!

Regards,
Natasha

Re: Thanks, Natasha

Natasha,

You're so right. I just finished reading aloud both your posts to my wife and suegra. They were laughing so hard they both practically fell off their chairs. They recognized what they call "truths" and I certainly recognized tons of similar stuff from my time in residence in the DR. Thanks for making us laugh.
Un abrazo,
Keith

P.D. We promptly got up and examined our refrigerator and guess what we found in the refrigerator door! )

Re: just for you Hillbilly...

hello deare
natasha

yes it is funny
and I allso understand that you idea
was certainlly not to offend
but to make peoplle laugh

but you see dear

seing it the other way

many peoplle would misinterpret the meening of it
spetially if you are a dominican
that are in a area wher the foreigner are tallking negativelly-with out any diplomacy and respect
every day about you country.

so my advice dear

are keep writing wha you beleive is ok to write,

but remember that you will have allways
peoplle like my MR.
backstaber BOB

whos would be insult
that goes for me as well if I would not had read others ad From you that I find diplomatic
Remember you are in a country wher the economical situation are not good at all
beside others probleme that we have ,

so what is a jok for you would not necesary be a jok for us
even wen we are normally cool compair with others nationalitys

we have oure limits......
Regards
peace
Roberto

Re: Thanks, Natasha

Keith, You took the words out of my mouth.

THANKS, NATASHA!!!!

I also had a good time sharing Natasha's post with my Dominican friends which I consider my family.

Boy... Oh Boy... I wish Natasha was here. She would have loved to see how much laughter and true enjoyment she had brought us this afternoon.

No one was offended. No reason why!

I pray this thread wouldn't turn out to be unpleasant like the ones we have seen in the past couple of weeks because there is no reason why. We are all the same. Nobody is making fun of nobody. We are just having a good time talking about the "cuentitos" of our normal daily behaviour.

When I was back home, I remember of a conversation between myself and my friend. We were at work. Absent mindedly I asked her "Where is the dealie?" She answered, "It is in the thingie."
She knew I was asking about the phone book because at the the time I was looking for a phone number. I knew her answer meant the drawer because that where we keep the phone book. That is the same as "tr?eme la vainita esa para flojar la cosita redonda" it is just amusing.

Re: just for you Hillbilly...

Natasha's post was done with good fun in mind. There are a few of us gringos who speak Spanish and enjoyed the post. I find that the refrigerator stuff applies more to the Dominicans living here in the US (maybe Canada and Europe also). When I lived in the DR, most people keep the refrigerator almost empty because you didn't know if there was going to be enough electricity to keep things cold. Just have some fun with it.

smile! natasha this is for you..

I got an e-mail this morning from a mutual friend of ours with excerpts from your Just for you HB post in it.
ILMAO! i think about my house and our fridges!
anyway, one of the last things was the one about the "trapito en la puerta de la nevera"
At the University, I teach my kids about myths and rites and I always use this example.:
I wrote back to her->

I LOVED your "vainas" They were precious. but let me tell you about the towel and the fridge:
This has always sort of "Pissed" me off.
"Fulana, please get me a glass of water."

"I can't se?or, I have been ironing and i don't want to have spasms!!"

I always thought: Bull S--T!! Big time.

However, being sort of curious, I started thinking- something I do every now and then...."How can this be so pervasive at every level of society?"

Go back 40 years, when I came here (almost). Fridges were rare, and in fact many homes used their fridges exclusively for cold water and making ice which was sold to the neighbors. this income was the housewife's.

then I thought about the wiring in every house I have ever seen here. There is no GROUND!! EVER!!
So I thought about what I knew of Dominican Society: Who would be the first to get refridgerators? The wealthy. Would their houses be any better made than the ones I had lived in? No.
therefore we have the following scenario, and you will love this!
Act I: Altagracia is ironing. She is barefoot, hot and sweaty.
Scene 1: La Do?a asks for a glass of water.
Scene 2: Altagracia goes to the Refridgerator
Scene 3: Altagracia opens the door.
Act II: Altagracia is on the floor hysterical!
Scene 1: she cries that she is paralized!
Scene 2: She cries that she can't move her arms
Scene 3: She faints in a heap[
Act III: The barrio-> a hubbub
Scene 1: A neighbor-"Altagracia is paralized!"
Scene 2: She was ironing and went to the nevera
Scene 3: THAT'S WHAT CAUSED IT!!!
Act IV: Another house
Scene 1: Maria, get me a glass of water please...
Scene 2: Ay, mi do?a, I can't, because I am ironing and I don't want to get a spasmo.
Scene 3: Que pendej?, muchacha!

And so is born an Urban Legend. The reality is that
the bare feet of Altagracia were the perfect conductor for the grounding of the refrigerator and Altagracia was the wire....THAT's was started it all some 50 or so years ago...

I love telling this to my classes, because they all believe that they will get "espasmos" if they get water or ice from a fridge after sweating!1

I gotta go , but I had to tell you this,, That towell was not to wipe it was to insulate the hands from the handle!!! In my house they use plastic bags!!
Love,
HB

In the States we have Urban Legends, too....and on the web--ni diga!!

NATASHA 'S FRIDGE

this is what you can find in Natasha refrigerator:
a couple of 24 pack (she bought it in Sam,s)of hot dog, fat free of course, she has to lose weight, 250 punds is too much to put on a bathing suit.

the same pack, but now of frozen hamburgers, fat free again. so she can eat 4 of them for dinner, maybe a couple more later watching TV.
4 jars of jelly, and those are full, not empty like in the dominicans fridge. she replace it every second day.
the list continue with meet(all kind), milk, candies, sodas, ketchup, etc, her fridge is like a small grocery store. she has everything, she has to show it. just in case their friend come by. and outside the fridge? SNACKS (ready to watch her favorite tv program: Richard simmons), but don't worry, she will get off the pounds for her summer vacations.
IF YOU WANT TO MAKE JOKE ABOUT DOMINICANS, LOOK AT YOURSELF FIRST.
Dominican fridges are empty because the electricity? what about you brain? there is any reason?

Re: just for you Hillbilly...

It is healthy to have a good wholesome laugh at ourselves. That's not the same as ridiculing someone with insulting jokes. Thanks Natasha. And this last post shows you are learning to keep your perspective without blowing your temper. Right on!

Re: NATASHA 'S FRIDGE

John,

You are completely out of line. Natasha's post was a good-natured attempt at using humor to lighten up the heavy atmopshere that this board has had lately. Your post has no humor and is anything but good-natured.

It is abundantly clear that you never have met Natasha. Not only is she one of the most intelligent, articulate and kindest ladies I have ever met, but she is slim and beautiful and very proud to be Dominican.

Frankly, regardless of whether you had the privilege to meet her in person, if you had simply bothered to first read/study any of her other posts here on DR1 over the last 2 years, that intelligence, beauty of spirit and love for the DR would have been evident to you.

You screwed up badly, man. You're disrespecting a good person who regularly defends the DR and Dominicans.

Next time, look before you start shooting off your mouth.
Keith

(Any One) Translation please, we all could use a smile!!!!

Re: just for you Hillbilly...

Olvidaste el charco de agua al frente por que se fue la luz hace tres horas y ya todo el hielo en el frizer se ha descongelado.

Re: NATASHA 'S FRIDGE

Buddy, you are way out of line. Natasha wasn't making fun of Dominicans, she was having fun with Dominicans - and was being kind enough to share it with the rest of us.

It was just a post describing with a smile some of the little "typicals" of everyday life in the Dominican Republic and of the Dominican people. I can't see anything insulting in that, and I learned from being in the Dominican Republic that although people are proud (and nothing wrong with that) they have a great ability to smile and laugh at themselves. If you are Dominican you seem to be one of the rare exceptions.

Natasha is one of the most constructive, positive and informative people on this board. So far I haven't seen anything remotely witty, constructive or informative from you.

Regards,
Susanne

Re: NATASHA 'S FRIDGE

From; Lucia Lora, John Thomas & Sons: Natasha, gracias. John, shame on you.

Re: anyone's FRIDGE

I am sooo proud of you Dominicans! Standing up and being just really beautifully loving and human, while dealing with your detractors and those who would demean you in a very constructive way, that makes their foolishness look bad in comparison. Viva Quisqueya! Be proud of who you are! Even the human foibles. Even a president with humble roots.